Yesturday, My mom grabbed all my electronics and smashed them with a hammer. This is written on the family computer. You know why it was? Because this old dude said I was playing with the lights in the bathroom even though it was an 11 year old. Of course she didn't believe me because apparently I am the spawn of the devil. And she did that. Then, I thought I was alone in the house and yelled Fuck You! While my mom left to work. Turns out I wasn't alone. My sister woke up and she plans to tell my mom later, because apparently they are perfect and I am the spawn of the devil. But the thing is I'm not mad no more. I'm kind of happier than before. I am right now at the end of my first day fasting. I no longer feel the need to be on my phone even though I'm not even doing anything on it. I just kind of used it to escape reality. Reality still sucks, but I am happy doing the small things even if the big things go bad. I will probably get majorly beat when my mother get home. I have no friends. Not even the false technological friends. Except the computer. Wish me luck. I have absolutely nothing to lose so I don't know how I will get in trouble. I have no friends and barely any possessions. I also don't really do much so there isn't much that can be taken away from me. Pray for me guys. I almost killed myself yesturday with a belt tied to my bed. My whole body started tingling and everything went black and I almost lost consciousness when I used all my strength and got up and said fuck this I want to live! Pray for me. I want to live a good life. My mom is Bipolar as fuck and tries to make me feel bad for having no love for her when she really has no love for me. I try to love her and I kind of do, but we are on different mindsets and think very differently. I'm very quiet and well behaved, but she will still find a reason to take away all my shit and leave me broken. Pray for me please!