WTF? Don't know exactly where to post this, but yes I am very lonely.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by horny nerd, Sep 24, 2018.

  1. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

    278
    163
    43
    Yesturday, My mom grabbed all my electronics and smashed them with a hammer. This is written on the family computer. You know why it was? Because this old dude said I was playing with the lights in the bathroom even though it was an 11 year old. Of course she didn't believe me because apparently I am the spawn of the devil. And she did that.

    Then, I thought I was alone in the house and yelled Fuck You! While my mom left to work. Turns out I wasn't alone. My sister woke up and she plans to tell my mom later, because apparently they are perfect and I am the spawn of the devil.

    But the thing is I'm not mad no more. I'm kind of happier than before. I am right now at the end of my first day fasting. I no longer feel the need to be on my phone even though I'm not even doing anything on it. I just kind of used it to escape reality. Reality still sucks, but I am happy doing the small things even if the big things go bad.

    I will probably get majorly beat when my mother get home. I have no friends. Not even the false technological friends. Except the computer. Wish me luck. I have absolutely nothing to lose so I don't know how I will get in trouble. I have no friends and barely any possessions. I also don't really do much so there isn't much that can be taken away from me. Pray for me guys.

    I almost killed myself yesturday with a belt tied to my bed. My whole body started tingling and everything went black and I almost lost consciousness when I used all my strength and got up and said fuck this I want to live! Pray for me. I want to live a good life. My mom is Bipolar as fuck and tries to make me feel bad for having no love for her when she really has no love for me. I try to love her and I kind of do, but we are on different mindsets and think very differently. I'm very quiet and well behaved, but she will still find a reason to take away all my shit and leave me broken.

    Pray for me please!
     
  2. Swagnation

    Swagnation Fapstronaut

    84
    82
    18
    dude that is so fucked up, the situation with your mother and everything. i can't even imagine how that must feel like. feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk about it, and try not to lose hope!
     
    HereAndThere and salvacion_a_888 like this.
  3. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

    552
    785
    93
    You have to talk to your teacher ASAP. Tell him/her everything. Especially the belt action. Just do it. Speak up. Defend yourself. You're not your mother's property. Feel free to speak both here and your teacher. Fight back...
     
  4. Abmu

    Abmu Fapstronaut

    78
    46
    18
    Bro go to your school and talk to a teacher that you trust the most , I was in a smiler situation as you are, I still feel suicidal but confirming has improved it , i think you need to talk to someone about it
     
    P-Free and JoePineapples like this.
  5. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

    278
    163
    43
    I am homeschooled tho. Not really sure what to do. I might be put back into public school as punishment. I'm about to throw up from anxiety.
     
  6. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

    552
    785
    93
    Why is going to public school considered as punishment?
     
  7. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

    278
    163
    43
    Because I wanted to be homeschooled. And she has to pay for it.
     
  8. Hey brother, my heart goes out to you. I can't say I understand the emotions, but it sounds like hell. I'd get the fuck out of there. Is there a youth shelter you could go stay at? Doesn't sound like you've got a lot to lose. If it were me, I'd just get the fuck out of that toxic environment. I think most cities have youth shelters, and you'd probably have a case worker who could help you getting back into school and all that. In any case, please, please don't give up. I know it's cliche, but you're young and you've got your whole life ahead of you. Things can get better. PM me if you'd like. Peace and love.
     
    hardowner and horny nerd like this.
  9. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

    278
    163
    43
    Update: I don't think my sister told my mom. Thank God and all you.
     
  10. Adamantem

    Adamantem Fapstronaut

    Seriously, what the hell. I don't understand what could drive people to such madness. Doesn't your mother care if you died? Seriously, if your suicide attempt went through, you would have been the next case filed away. Dude, stick close to God, common sense, and needed support. Remember, you always have us.
    PM me if you need to.
     
    horny nerd likes this.
  11. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    I'm glad you're okay. I really think you should be talking to someone about this stuff. Start with a suicide hotline (I know you're not suicidal anymore, but they can refer you to places that can help). The cold, hard truth here is that your mom is abusing you. You should not have to suffer this treatment. Please stay strong and seek help. No responsible parent would ever treat their child this way. Keep us posted and take care of yourself!

    Someone mentioned it (and it does sound cliche), but life *does* get better. I'm 51 years old and have seen my share of shit since I was a teenager, but I can tell you in all honesty: It does get better! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
     
    hardowner and horny nerd like this.
  12. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

    278
    163
    43
    Thanks for the support. Do you know of any online hotlines? Like you can go on them from a website?
     
    P-Free likes this.
  13. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    You're welcome. This one seems to offer an online chat option in addition to a phone number:

    https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

    You have to scroll to the bottom of the page to find it, though. Best of luck and keep us posted!
     
    hardowner likes this.
  14. light&light

    light&light Fapstronaut

    Brother, please go to public school. You will find lots of friends. You will learn how to communicates and surely your home will not be a prison for you.
     
    hardowner likes this.
  15. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

    278
    163
    43
    I am in the wait line right now thank you.
     
    P-Free and hardowner like this.
  16. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    That is awesome! You're most welcome!
     
    horny nerd and hardowner like this.
  17. legendsneverdie

    legendsneverdie Fapstronaut

    254
    266
    63
    i’m sorry man. you’ll pull through. Life may not be easy. The road may not be straight. But better times are still to come. Stay on nofap
     
    P-Free and horny nerd like this.
  18. Survivor Wars

    Survivor Wars Fapstronaut

    213
    298
    63
    Hey bro, I want to tell you that you sound like a legend. A lot of great people I read about were treated this way which forces them to do things that changed the world.

    I do not know your age but it sounds like you are a young person.
    I encourage you to ignore all who hate you. I promise you you a legend only if you will reach deep inside you and bring all the energy inside you out.

    As for suicide please rule it out. You cannot be defeated. You sound too special to be defeated by suicide.
    I also feel lonely and depressed just like you sometimes but I know life will never be the same always, so I try to change things.

    Bravely press on and you will be happy in the end.

    We love you
     
  19. HereAndThere

    HereAndThere Fapstronaut

    186
    273
    63
    Does that suicide prevention line work outside US? In my shithole of a country there in no working suicide hotlines. And there are, like, 22 autonomous child and woman shelters but they dont accept boys older than 12.
     
    P-Free likes this.
  20. P-Free

    P-Free Fapstronaut

    I don't know. But, you could try the online chat section at the bottom. I would hope they don't turn anyone away. If they do, let me know and I'll track down something for you, if I can. Are you in any immediate danger?
     

Share This Page