WTF is the erotic blueprint and why it could help you and all of your sexual relationships

Hey fam,

Of couse, each and everone of us is different. Yes, the majority of us is sexual in some form or another. Some like it more frequent, some do not.

And yet, with a lot of couples, there is still a misconception of what the partner wants and needs when it comes to enjoying themselves. But due to the fact that we humans are so dramatically diverse, there is no person that is exactly like the other. Everyone who had more then 1 sexual partner knows this already. We are all different, and in an intimate relationship, knowing what you want yourself, as well as knowing how your partner wants to be turned on is imperative for a healthy sexual base.

Of course, all of this is only really relevant for people that do not have any porn-induced problems to begin with. It is technically for rebooters who are past the 90 days or however long they need to recover from it. Porn will skew the real wants of any person to a certain degree. I am not saying that everything done in porn is wrong and should be considered wrong. But it is still way more healthy to cut porn out, to get a clear view on what truly is our very own sexuality.

According to Miss Jaiya, a sexual therapist who is also featured by Tony Robbins, there are 5 main sexual blueprint types. Each of those blueprints represent what personally turns us on the most.
Of course, we will all be mixed types, but it will give you a good impression of what your main types probably are and how you can relax and be turned on in the best way possible. It should be seen as an addition to our sexual knowlegde repertoire to understand ourselves and our partners, to give them and us the sexual joy we want, need and yes, deserve.
The 5 Sexual blueprints are the following:

Energetic: Turned on by anticipation, space and tease, and prefers light or hovering touch.

Sensual: Turned on by all of their senses being engaged, ambiance, romance, and sensory play. scents, lighting, sound, touch and time are all important.

Sexual: Turned on by straightforward sex, nudity, orgasms, penetration and direct genital contact.

Kinky: Turned on by power dynamics, anything that feels taboo to them, and pushing edges.

Shapeshifter: Turned on by everything above, they are sexually sophisticated and desire variety.

What seems obvious for anyone who reads this, most of you will probably assume that almost all guys are probably mainly the sexual type, while most girls are might be shapeshifters, with a higher focus on the energetic and the sensual type.

But we absolutely can not make any assumptions about our partners without knowing or asking them. There are wamen out there who are mainly sexual and there are men out there that are highly sensual and need a lot of time and might get distracted by music that is too loud, rushing things or even the wrong lighting. Don't just assume you know everything about your partner if you never truly asked them what they really enjoy and what turns them on. (Again, of course this is only a relevant question for someone who already quit porn and lives a free sexual life on their own terms)

A lot of people might even have no idea, especially sexually inexperienced men and wamen, independend of what kind of age they are. If you don't know what you enjoy, i challenge each and everyone of you to explore. Experiment with the people you are together with to find out what you enjoy. The most importat part is the communication. Talk with your partner about what you would like to try and why. Be understanding if someone is very reserved about something you desire and never force anything. At times, it can be very difficult to find the right balance for both partners involved so that both are happy. Talking and exploration will expand both of your views on sexuality and make you both more comfortable. And the more comfortable each partner is in their sexuality, the more likely they are to enjoy giving and receiving.
Both of those aspect are equally important in a healthy sexuality.

If you have an email address you are willing to throw away if you are uncomfortable to use your regular one, you can google and take the sexual blueprint quiz at MissJaiyas, website, finding out where you excel the most and transition this knowledge into a relationship that is filled with joy and happiness because both partners are aware of what the other is into the most. I don't know if i am allowed to link this here and will remove it if i have to, but this is the direct link to the quiz to find out what kind of erotic blueprint you have, with courtesy to Miss Jaiya:

https://surveyanyplace.com/s/eroticblueprint

Remember, no sexual relationship just magically becomes great if there are some unspoken issues and desires left out. We all have to come together in our relationships and talk to each other with empathy of what is important for us, while still stating what we want, and acknowledge the needs and wants from our partner, ideally cleaning up underlying relationship issues as well. Sex is rarely great if you have negative tension between two people because one person said or did something that upset the other. Of course sex can still happen, but it is often tainted. And using sex to solve relationship issues is just the wrong way to go, because neither of the partners invloved will learn how to deal and confront a conflict in the relationship in a loving and caring manner.
All you do is cover up the problem. Doing this will inevidently lead to more problems, because we didn't clear the issues we had in the first place.

So, find out what you like yourself, have an open and honest talk with your partner, what he or she likes and use that knowledge to create the amazing sexual relationship we all deserve. I am single, and yet i still find it extremly helpful, knowing what main type i am.
And knowing the other blueprints gives us the advantage to ask the right questions when we find someone new. Or even the ones we are in a relationship with already but never really talked to in this manner. There are general qustions like

- What turns you on the most?
- What turns you off the most?

But also more specific questions like

- Do you enjoy having candles with scents around when we enjoy ourselves?
- What kind of lighting makes you most comfortable?
- Do you enjoy to warm up first to feel comfortable to get going?
- Do you enjoy including accessories into our experiences together?
- Do you like being teased with voice and touch?
- Do you prefer to just go for it without warming up?

And i am fully aware that those answers can be different in different situations. Of course they will be. But you can not expect a quickie from someone who needs to warm up first at the start of the relationship and someone who wants to just go for it probably has a harder time to cuddle and kiss first, to warm the other person up. It is about acknowledging what the other persons wants and needs are.
That doesn't mean that the one who usually needs time can't have a quickie or the one who likes to just go for it can't enjoy romance with a lot of cuddling and kissing invloved.
But we have to be aware of what the general type we and our partner are so we can respond to them in the most loving and caring way possible. A sexual relationship, between two people who really like each other, should always be about trying to find a balance between both of the partners desires.

Please be aware that those sexual types are just constructs to be used to understand your partner and yourself better and that they can also shift with certain life situations. What someone liked in their twenties doesn't necessarely mean they like the same stuff when they are in their fourties. Keep exploring what your current type is and keep evolving yourself in this beautiful thing we call life. Being present in the moment of the talks with your partner as well as when you start exploring is the essence of life. Throw out any unnessecary mental barrier and focus on the feelings and sensations that unfold along the journy of your on healthy, porn-free sexuality.

So quit porn as a base, and then after rebooting talk to each other and find out what both of you desire, find attracting and arousing, and most importantly why. The "why" is the key for us to be able to understand our partner and gives us the ablity to connect on a deeper level with them.
So you can go forward into your relationship, and give your partner what he or she enjoys. And you can tease them with it as well. All great relationships have some kind of tease in there once in a while. The more often it happens, the better the relationship usually is.
And don't throw this thread away if you are single or never had sex. You will get to the point where you find someone you really like, feel connected with and you want to have sex with. And after you quit porn, go explore. Find out what you like, what you are cuirous about and also get to know what you don't like. Be aware that each of us if different and had different needs. That is what the erotic blueprint types are about.

Be fully present with your partner and explore your desires.
See and feel how they react.
See and feel how you react.
Build comfort for yoursef and your partner and both of you will get your sexual confidence as a gift.

All the best,
ReclaimedLife