wtf is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by innermostheart, Jan 30, 2019.

  1. innermostheart

    innermostheart Fapstronaut

    I always want to watch porn. Then after pmo I would hate it... Then I knew I would hate it but the next time the temptation arise I would give in. Then after that I would hate my fucking life...
    Coz I know I couldn't give in totally to a fucking porn lifestyle like you know what I mean? I know I'm not gonna live my life like those that I watch. I still believe I want a fucking normal fucking life... Like get married 1 wife for the rest of life...
    But fuck............
     
  2. Agitation_free

    Agitation_free Fapstronaut

    I can relate to this. It happends because addiction want to trick your mind that you need to PMO but in reality you hate it. Its how every addiction work.
     
  3. John_K

    John_K Fapstronaut

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    PMO can give the same feeling of guilt as MO, with an added measure of guilt since we are trying to kick the P. Been there, don't hate yourself just promise that tomorrow you will do better and keep that promise.
     
    innermostheart likes this.
  4. Kexas23

    Kexas23 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    I just ended, hopefully, a 2 week binge. I called in sick to work so i could stay home and PMO. I did this 6 times in the last two weeks. I only worked 4 days over the last two weeks. Cost myself over a week of salary just to PMO. No matter how bad you have it, you can look at me and know you are not as bad as someone.
     
  5. You're feeling like this because the dopamine reward system in your brain is all screwed up. All of us on NoFap feel like this, so you aren't alone. I would recommend you talk to somebody about it like somebody who you're close to or a therapist. Just keep on reminding yourself of the benefits of NoFap and the person you'll become once you've overcome your addiction. I hope this has helped you!

    Stay strong - oh18146 :)
     
    innermostheart likes this.
  6. innermostheart

    innermostheart Fapstronaut

    Do u have a link for the benefit of nofap pls?
    I need to remind myself.
     
  7. innermostheart

    innermostheart Fapstronaut

    Sometimes I fear my own self at night.
    Like "hey you can watch porn again" then "no I dont want to"
    And talking to someone....
    Unfortunately there has been no someone I could open up to my feelings as I grew up...
    I kept all pain inside....
     
  8. Yes, I do. It's right here:

    I highly recommend you check out this guy's other content as well because his videos are purely focused on self-improvement. He also has other NoFap videos he's made before, but this is his most recent one. You can check out the other ones as well if you want.
     
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  9. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    Porn is a tool of a devil to fuck up your life and happiness. You see the result right now. You are not able to win this battle alone. Try to accept that there is some Universe around us which can conquer this devil energy as it can move the planets around.
     
  10. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    Start to seriously work on yourself. To call sick just to porn that is a high level of dependency. Not too far from a full-blown addict. Get your life back.
     
  11. innermostheart

    innermostheart Fapstronaut

    Thank you
     
  12. SquareWaveform

    SquareWaveform Fapstronaut

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    You're not alone. I always feel terrible when I do it. I swear it off! Never again! Then I think.. What's wrong with one little look?
     
  13. Kexas23

    Kexas23 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    I agree, a year ago today I was at 120 day streak. Since last March, every two or three months I would go on a two week binge then get back to a nice streak. Each time I relapsed the binge would be more intense. This latest binge was the worst it ever was.
     
    4DCreator likes this.

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