StormBoundSailor
New Fapstronaut
Hello fellow nofappers.
I thought I'd check in to journal this fight I'm STILL fighting, register some minor victories and ask anyone if they have any advice about my situation.
I'm 28, been trying to go 90 days seriously for around a year and a half now, have experienced what I think is likely PIED for probably at least 7 years now.
I'm starting to feel that things might become (that hellish word) irreversible, so for anyone out there who knows about this, I'd love just any reassurance that it's not so.
Here's what's happened since I last used this blog about a year ago. I went 45 days with some masturbating without ejaculating then had sex with erection pills, and it was ok, not great. Then I went another 45 days with practically zero masturbation. Still little improvement. All this time porn was rarely even glanced at but still there. Then I met a great girl who I dated briefly and explained my situation, but somehow had noticed that while making out with her I was getting notable erections, maybe not 100 percent but notable. We never had sex, and I, thinking I was in the clear (stupidly) started masturbating and watching a little bit of porn every now and then for a couple of months. Then, realising I was probably back at the start, I was going to have to change things around. This was a revelatory time, and such things don't just happen like that if, like me, any of you reading have also experienced depression or depression-like symptoms. You can't just change. But what I did, and what has been a centrally important activity in my life for 4 months now is listening to positive thinking recordings. Literally a game changer. From starting to listen to it every night for at least ten minutes, I was able, quite easily, to go 60 days. Then, feeling a real pent-up frustration thought I'd just get it out of my system and carry on another 60 days. Not wise, as I have been struggling to get beyond 10 days for the last month and a half now. Have watched porn 3 times for a couple of minutes, and it's really having a horrible effect on my well-being. I'm having some really dark thoughts and just want to get out of this PIED nightmare! Though erections weren't hugely different, after 60 days and then relapse I was feeling like a functioning, lively being that had no shame, so it's very sad to see myself falling back from that.
Wishing you all the best in this tumultuous journey.
I thought I'd check in to journal this fight I'm STILL fighting, register some minor victories and ask anyone if they have any advice about my situation.
I'm 28, been trying to go 90 days seriously for around a year and a half now, have experienced what I think is likely PIED for probably at least 7 years now.
I'm starting to feel that things might become (that hellish word) irreversible, so for anyone out there who knows about this, I'd love just any reassurance that it's not so.
Here's what's happened since I last used this blog about a year ago. I went 45 days with some masturbating without ejaculating then had sex with erection pills, and it was ok, not great. Then I went another 45 days with practically zero masturbation. Still little improvement. All this time porn was rarely even glanced at but still there. Then I met a great girl who I dated briefly and explained my situation, but somehow had noticed that while making out with her I was getting notable erections, maybe not 100 percent but notable. We never had sex, and I, thinking I was in the clear (stupidly) started masturbating and watching a little bit of porn every now and then for a couple of months. Then, realising I was probably back at the start, I was going to have to change things around. This was a revelatory time, and such things don't just happen like that if, like me, any of you reading have also experienced depression or depression-like symptoms. You can't just change. But what I did, and what has been a centrally important activity in my life for 4 months now is listening to positive thinking recordings. Literally a game changer. From starting to listen to it every night for at least ten minutes, I was able, quite easily, to go 60 days. Then, feeling a real pent-up frustration thought I'd just get it out of my system and carry on another 60 days. Not wise, as I have been struggling to get beyond 10 days for the last month and a half now. Have watched porn 3 times for a couple of minutes, and it's really having a horrible effect on my well-being. I'm having some really dark thoughts and just want to get out of this PIED nightmare! Though erections weren't hugely different, after 60 days and then relapse I was feeling like a functioning, lively being that had no shame, so it's very sad to see myself falling back from that.
Wishing you all the best in this tumultuous journey.