Yesterday Was Tough But I'm Still Here

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Lo_ki, Nov 23, 2021.

  1. Lo_ki

    Lo_ki Fapstronaut

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    Okay so Yesterday was tough. I thought I was going to be sick. Sometimes I don't get triggered but when I allow my brain to go lazy, my thoughts drift to how great it feels to have that rush of dopamine release and before I know it, I am at a site or page that triggers me into pmo, I relapse and I fall into a continuous cycle of self-disgust and loathing. That's exactly what tried to happen yesterday. My thoughts were drifting and I was in physical pain trying to resist the urge to give in to my cravings for pmo. It started around noon and all the way through to the evening. It receded when I went off my phone and took a walk with my friend. I prolly should have done that earlier but usually when it happens it's like sth strong is gluing me to the phone and won't let me go unless I do porn.
    This is hard, but I can't afford to give up. I am not giving up. It's day five and honestly I am scared considering yesterday's near triggers but I believe I would do more than survive today and the days after it. #Grateful for all the help and support#.
     
    Legacy of Lost Soul likes this.
  2. Stay with it. I can fully relate to what you are saying about letting your mind wander into fantasy about how great it would be and then relapsing and feeling horrible about yourself. Glad you went out for a walk and interrupted the cycle. I too get scared that the cravings and triggers will only worsen but then find that they come and go if I don't give into them. I think a fear that many of us carry is that, if I don't deal with this urge, it will never go away and I will always have to fight it. But then we find that it comes and goes.
     
  3. Lo_ki

    Lo_ki Fapstronaut

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    Yeah. Thank you. This is very helpful. I didn't fully see it this way but yeah, it does come and go. I'll keep fighting
     
  4. Kadampa

    Kadampa Fapstronaut

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    Try cold shower if it's really bad.
     
    Legacy of Lost Soul likes this.
  5. Lo_ki

    Lo_ki Fapstronaut

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    Cold shower, never heard that one before. Imma try it, thanks.
     
  6. Kadampa

    Kadampa Fapstronaut

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    If you get horny it will cool down urge.
     

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