yesterday

today afternoon i broke my nofap streak.i relapsed.earlier i had a reset,like 5 days back but today i relapsed reason being......loneliness,there is not one person whom i can talk to IRL like someone who can sit beside me and comfort me some things or maybe share how our days are going,maybe chat a bit about hobbies,interests,inclinations,mistakes,book,love,movies,sleeping anything would do,but i really need someone to talk to,have a healthy friendship.
yesterday i had to attend a promotion party at my dad's office,someone got promoted i guess.....I pretty much protested in the afternoon against going to the party,i could have read a book in my room,i could have listened to good music,i could have read nofap posts,written my thoughts down on some very interesting topics,could have done anything,but my parents forced me to go to a party,it's not like i don't like to visit one,but the thing is that the parties that are generally hosted are done by the elders,like my dad's colleagues.they have their own groups,own circle so i can't really sit with them.
coming to their children,i don't match frequencies with them.those people are happy with whatsoever they get in life,negotiation is achievement to them and they drink and smoke like there's no tomorrow. i don't drink or smoke or like to discuss things like sex and porn. it just disagrees with my ideals and upbringing moreover the things about drinking and smoking is that they decrease ur energy levels and it's like ruining urself for nothing

 

it's about being lonely.trying to find like minded people not finding them,trying to put up with the people available around me who're not so my type,and then again choosing being lonely......it hurts a lot,to be surrounded by a lot of people and still feel lonely but i guess i have a habit now.