Yo! 21 year old, recently relapsed. Need to to take this seriously.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by More4, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. More4

    More4 Fapstronaut

    Hola friends!

    Just like you all, I've come to a serious realisation that porn is negatively impacting my life.

    My porn/dopamine addiction escalated from amateur porn to interactive porn (myfreecams), to recently virtually cheating on my amazing, beautiful and overall 10/10 girlfriend; by snapchat sexting other girls I know in real life from my past. I would regret it SO much every time after climaxing, to the point where I felt souless and life didn't feel worth living; however I would do it all over again the next day and feel the exact same way. It was at this point when I realised my porn addiction was just like people who are addicted to life destroying drugs, like meth and heroine.

    A seriously frustrating feeling I get is when I'm with my girlfriend, and at the end of the night, if there was no sexual contact I would feel a sort of moody sexual frustration headache. This seriously pisses me off. As all that means (and I know it's true) is that I am sexually objectifying my girlfriend. This 'headache' along with my change in mood only lasts about 10 minutes (im never obvious and I'll never verbalise my frustration + she wouldn't have a clue how I'm feeling).
    I WANT to be able to be with the girl I love and just focus on enjoying her company (which I do) and not care whether we have sex or not.

    Anyways, time to make a change, and this time be serious about it. I've tried nofap before, but eventually I'd give in and fap again without watching porn. Ultimately, that would just lead to me watching porn again.

    My last fap was this morning, to porn, before driving to my girlfriends house.
    We spent an awesome day together. On my drive back home, I told myself that I couldn't afford to lose or hurt this girl, so I need to take nofap seriously and rewire my brain to a healthy, non fucked up state.

  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    Welcome! I'm glad you're here. Let me know if I can help.
    More4 likes this.
  3. Barnabas

    Barnabas Fapstronaut

    Hey, I'm new too, and I just want to encourage - you are young, and your brain is still developing: you can change before there are long-lasting effects.

    I would invite you to recognize that you have a wonderful situation if you have a person in your life that you love and who loves you back. Everyone must confront their weakness, and we must do it every day of our lives, be it in this or that area of behavior. I think that too often we bottle up our energy instead of redirecting it towards a balanced lifestyle that satisfies all our needs, and that makes quitting harder and creates unhealthy tension.

    Now that you've decided to quit, realize that you have a lot more free time for healthier pursuits. Do a hobby! Spend more time with others! Spend time contemplating your life, the world around you, and the future you would like to build for your life! Porn takes up space in our lives because we don't put something better in that time slot - we can be happy if we fill our day with good things, and will not need to go back to it if we learn to enjoy what is healthy.

    I just wanted to share that with you because you really do have a positive situation. Maybe you will need serious help sorting out addiction, but that only makes the good things in your life a greater marvel. Good luck.
    More4 likes this.
  4. More4

    More4 Fapstronaut

    Thanks guys! Ive been reading through other peoples intros, and its so awesome to see all the support and non judgement from other users on this site.
    Stay strong everyone ! <3

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