You don't get scared by bears on a screen, why do you get aroused by women on a screen?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ultrafabber, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    Hopefully this topic will change the way you perceive the artificial "normality" that is virtual stimuli. I find it very difficult to watch how the vast majority of people simply accept that it's "normal" to get sexually aroused by such stimuli (porn/pics/gifs etc) and believe that "you can't stop it cause it's natural".

    The thing is, you shouldn't, or rather, it is not obligatory you should get aroused and certainly it's abnormal to get aroused to such an extent you get a raging hard-on and masturbate/ejaculate.

    What happens in every situation when it comes to perception is that you first need to assign some meaning and value to it. Believe it or not, the only reason you can get aroused to porn/images in the first place is because you accept them as being real - suggesting proximity to a sexually available woman. You get aroused because your mind incorrectly perceives you're about to have sex/reproduce and it prepares for it.

    But even the most hardcore pmo addict will accept the fact that you do not get to have sex/reproduce by watching sexually available women on screen or print. You're just looking at a screen or at a piece of paper.

    Now, what does the bear in the title have to do with all this? It's just a metaphor you can substitute with anything of your choice and that's meant to show the equivalence between arousal at virtual stuff.

    If you're walking in the woods and you see a bear 20 feet away charging at you, you will be scared/terrified and rightfully so. Your heart will start pounding, cortisol will rush though your system and you'll get many other physical reactions. It is a very dangerous situation that is likely to get you killed. The response you get is a valid response. Now, imagine the same scenario but this time you're in front of a giant screen that gives you the perception that a bear is 20 from you, charging at you. You will NOT get the same response as before because you understand the situation is not real. Sure, you could get mildly uncomfortable or even scared a bit, but the amplitude of the response won't be anywhere near the previous situation. If it was, your reality testing would be questionable and it would be best to consult a mental health expert.

    Interestingly enough, only children will get more scared because their reality testing is relatively poor. A child being terrified at a bear charging him/her on a screen is relatively normal, especially if it's the first exposure.

    What i'm saying is that humans have a built-in system of reality testing and that they can switch it on and off or fine-tune - it's really what happens when you watch a horror movie or action movie and you're scared/thrilled whatever. But you could watch the same movie and have 0 emotional and physical reaction if you would not give it any meaning as reality and you'd watch it objectively. You choose to suspend reality to enjoy the immersion and sensations a movie provides.

    How does all of this relate to porn/sex fantasizing (or sexual gratification in general)?

    It shows that, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT OBLIGATORY to get sexually aroused when you see a woman on a screen or on print or in your fantasy.

    It is a CHOICE, and it is a choice you make because you get short term benefits without any cost whatsoever. A man that can achieve sexual gratification without any real sex with a real woman is a man that has "hacked" his brain to give him rewards with no effort.

    So while the incentive to stop interpreting bears on screen as real is that it's unpleasant for you and you want to avoid such unpleasant feelings, sexual gratification though fantasy (porn/masturbation/sex fantasizing) has an incentive to be kept functional because it gives you free pleasure. If you can pmo, you just found the Holy Grail of free pleasure and you keep getting sexual gratification through fantasy (porn/masturbation/sex fantasizing) because you don't want to lose that ability.

    However, you should not want free pleasure, it's the fastest way to completely destroy your brain and your motivation and your ability to feel pleasure (the more pleasure you get the more the receptors for it will downregulate and you'll need more pleasure just to get the same effect).

    So please, understand that it's not "normal" not to be able to separate reality from fiction and that it's not "normal" to get excited by pictures on screens. It is a CHOICE you make.

    Hopefully this will explain part of the reasoning in my former topic about watching porn to stop porn use
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
  2. SoberSLAA

    SoberSLAA Fapstronaut

    False. It's TOTALLY NATURAL to get aroused at images/videos.

    Monkeys get aroused when looking at TV screens displaying attractive members of the opposite gender. Females will present themselves to videos of alpha males. Males will jerk off.

    There's a lot of science on this topic, so I will get link you to a good post.

    Look, we can get aroused - that's not the issue. The issue is whether we act on that arousal, and to what extent we act. Just because I see an attractive woman pass me on the street, and I get turned on, doesn't mean I have to rape her. That sort of thing.

    The problem is not that I get aroused by the woman, that's like saying you shouldn't get hungry when you see commercials displaying food. THE ADVERTISERS SPEND BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.... Because it works. We are designed that way.

    If you spend your energy trying not to get aroused, or not get hungry when you see commercials, then you are wasting your energy. What you can control, however, is whether you act on those urges.

    That's my point of view, anyway. What do I know, I only have 1 day.
  3. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    Bears don't give me an erection?
    Fenix Rising and ultrafabber like this.
  4. Pity

    Pity Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Its cool bro
    You're normal
    Bombadil likes this.
  5. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    Monkeys also get scared of a predator on video, that's because they have a hard time differentiating between what's real and what's not. Yes, of course they get sexually aroused, that's because they misinterpret what they see.

    That's the point of all this - we, as humans, have a CHOICE on how we interpret virtual reality/fantasy.

    I don't disagree that whether we act on the arousal or not is very important, it really is, but that's not the first thing we have control over. We have control over getting aroused in the first place. For example, a pedophile doesn't stop being a pedophile if he doesn't have sexual contact with children. He is a pedophile because he is aroused by the thought of having sexual contact with children.

    If you spend your energy fighting against acting on sexual arousal and running away from triggers, you are wasting your energy. On the other hand, if you manage to understand that you don't have a reason to be aroused in the first place, you have nothing else to do and you don't need to spend energy on anything else.

    Hey man, maybe you have BIED (Bear Induced Erectile Dysfunction). Should get that one checked out.
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
    John_ranger likes this.
  6. Pity

    Pity Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    The Human Zoo written by Desmond Morris the famous anthropologist traveled the world and studied all sorts of animals and wrote his observations in many books. Baby Watching, cat watching, dog watching... it is clear from his insights and revelations he has a unique rare voice and whatever he is it is not BULLSHIT. Now BULLSHIT is very conspicuous you see. You notice it.

    Monkeys in the jungle do not masturbate or throw shit at other shit. (See my video journal about throwing shit at shit and not scaring shit away.) But only zoo monkeys do that shit thing. Or shit shit if you will.

    No, you don't HAVE TO rape any women ever no matter how perfect looking she is. Confirm THAT! Roger! 10 4, brother! Check & check! Yes! You are correct sir! Good one! You should be published...ok. with that said, but you don't have to make or even appreciate the arts or even obey the law for that matter. But in the case of rape I'm afraid it's almost unmentionable ugly in every case. most aren't even reported. Lots of times it's a woman saying hey I m not into this anymore and a man saying or not saying just a second or a few minutes, I'm just about to come followed by no chance of considering what she said. They let it go and know they have just been deeply violated. Ugly as hell. Real horror.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 23, 2019
  7. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

    Many times I'm sure everyone here has seen hot women or a suggestive scene on a screen and not been the least bit aroused, it's certainly the case with me. A lot of it has to do with your state of mind at the time
    ultrafabber likes this.
  8. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    That's what i'm trying to explain to people, getting aroused is a CHOICE we make, it's not something that "just happens". You can see the exact same image in the morning in a print and completely ignore it, then late at night go back to that image and get aroused and masturbate.

    The problem of pmo addicts is that they can't make that choice anymore, so to them it feels normal to get aroused so easily and having no control over arousal, even if it's not normal or healthy.

    So what pmo is about is the inability to interpret meaning of what "sexually available" is.

    Getting aroused is the consequence of interpreting a woman as sexually available in a literal way - even though no woman you see on screen (or your imagination) is actually sexually available to you.

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