YOU NEED TO MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOUSE!

I do not agree with you on this one @Mateo89. The reason is that leaving home and taking on new responsibilities is a time of stress. Stress is one of the universal triggers of sexual arousal. The new challenges of an individual coming to terms with moving out and away from mum and dad's nest can be very scary. If in doubt, masturbate! Those ongoing stresses will likely result in the addiction continuing unabated. In my opinion, it would result in it becoming more deeply embedded.

 

Very well said. Kids today need to not only learn responsibility, but to live it. Glad you were able to step up.

 

The real key to success is self control doesn't matter where you live although it probably helps if you are independent
If you live with your parents it can also be motivational because you can reflect on what they've done for you and appreciate it and realize that you should do something in return, controlling yourself getting well and leading life like you're supposed to. So basically not taking advantage of being looked after. It's mainly a generational thing as most parents didn't grow up with the trojan horse we call internet.

 

I have a few questions? Long long have you lived on your own? How did you adjust and what steps did you take to make it work? Did your parents kick you out or was it voluntary? Just curious.

 

There are also cultural issues here. In many cultures the offspring remain at home until they marry or reject their parents system of morality and ethics.
In some western cultures, moving out can be seen as a positive acceptance of responsibility not as rebellion, but thst also depends on subcultural practices.

 

I agree. But if you work, and do other side projects and still live at home you wouldn't have time to be on YouTube anyway. I am still developing as a person, once I have a lot of savings, and my jobs are set, I will move out with mutual respect. I still want to help my mom out. May it be with my company or money, I was thinking about moving out of the country later in the future, I have so much plans, I just don't want to rent a room and work somewhere, I don't think that will bring me anywhere. Planning it important.

 

Yes, but each culture has its own system. Many involve marriage, especially for girls, which is hardly independence though it would be a form of responsibility.
In a strong group tribal culture, independence is evil and destructive. Here in Texas, independence is an ideal.

It sounds like it was very good for you. I am glad it worked out so well.
I think it can help some people, especially when it is done without anger or disrespect.

 

I can see both sides to this. On the one hand, changes in scenery have been seen as helpful for people in NoFap, because you have wired your brain to slip into that PMO autopilot mode in part due to your environment. Example: How many of us have a few specific spots where we tend to PMO? I know I have some, and it's important that I change those environments around just enough to be able to reassociate the area without the addiction. At the same time, you quickly learn time management, fiscal responsibility, and so many other 'adulting' things that can consume a lot of your time that normally would be in front of a screen.

But moving out is stressful, especially when you first leave the nest. Mateo89, it looked like you had at least a little bit saved to be able to do this. I would suggest that for people still living with parents, if they think moving out may be beneficial, begin first by working your tail off to get enough saved up to move out. Take up some skills or hobbies that excite you to consume free time up. Who knows, maybe you find a passion you can make into a career?

 

That's exactly the plan I have in mind this year.

I already graduated from college, last summer. So, the reason I'm still at my old house is because I need to first learn how to drive a car (something I should've done years ago), so I can find a job of my own choice (just for a while), make some plenty of fuckin' cash, and then move away to start a fighting career. That's right, I have a dream to follow.

I got all that shit planned out. I'm no lazy fuck, ya know. I'm not like any other guy who's "waiting to feel like it". I just gotta go one step at a time. Ya know what I mean?

Pardon my grammar. I sometimes talk like a wisecracker.

 

Usually the best way to go live on your own is by saving money. That's probably one of the most important things because once you move out it's much harder to move back, or even try to move back. Sometimes it's a little easier for other people to move out, and I don't know exactly what caused you to decide to move out whether it's with good intentions or not. But again, everyone's different.

In my case, I'm in a very tight situation. And I'm sure for you, you had more freedom, less restrictions, and the flexibility to make these changes with the people around you to make such a decision. When I say people, it's usually your family and maybe a few friends depending on much they supported you. For me, there are a variety of things holding me back, and that's why I wanted to ask you these questions and maybe seek advice.

From my side of the story, I've been wanting to be independent for the last year, and I'm seriously thinking about doing it. However, there are cultural, family, and personal obligations that are seriously holding me back. I'm Vietnamese and the oldest of 4 sons; I have a ton of responsibility regarding the care of my elderly parents to leading by example for my younger brothers.

Not to mention, my parents are highly religious, and prefer me to have a Vietnamese wife from our homeland. I'm restricted by so many things, so it's no wonder why I'm not at the level that you are. One of the things I despise about the American society is that it breaks other cultural traditions apart by influencing the concept of independence. It makes me feel guilty of not being independent myself, whereas if I were to live in my own country, everything I've been doing is considered noble and honorable. However, if you see a young man living with his parents in America, it's seen as embarrassing.

Nonetheless, I've already made my decision, even though I'm reluctant to move out. I'm leaving behind a lot of people including my friends and other core values, but the same time, I'm really stressed out so I have to do what's best for me. I'm planning to save up some money like you, work as many jobs as possible, and hopefully live on my own for the time being. In the end, both you and I deserve our freedom although we have different reasons for moving out. But as long as our decisions don't hurt the ones we love, and as long as we prosper with our lives is what really matters.

 

To be fair I'm currently living with my mom until the semester is up. I go to school and work full time. On top of that I'm 50 days sober.

I do understand your point however, though I would say the problem that lies therein is the emphasis on self reliance as a whole.

 

I agree we have a natural inclination to be self reliant, though I would say as society progresses into this new age the idea of self reliance is shifting. Instead of relying on strength and dominance we now rely on intelligence and discipline.

My idea of self reliance in this day is strong financial independence and a clear purpose. Just as the B.C men had a purpose that focused on survival, our own goal is now financial survival. A man living off his parents without progression or clear goals is indeed purposeless.

Personally I can't stand living with my mother. It seems as if her goal is to make sure I never get anywhere in life by attempting to bleed me dry and destroy my purpose. Just because she watches TV goes to work, then comes home and watches TV, while having 0 savings and investments at age 40. She wants me to end up just like her. However, as you said, independence defines us as men. So at the end of the semester ill have 4000 dollars in savings, 2 vehicles, a place to crash until I find a cheap apartment, and an easy $14 hr. Job with practically unlimited job security.

I would venture to argue that abstaining from PMO is actually the reason for this and not the other way around. Clear purpose is what defines my independence in my opinion.