You wanna a happy ending?

I came in here last year coming off a cocktail of drugs and masturbation.

I was taking lots of Adderall every day and spending half of it in an orgasmic frenzy - a lot of wasted time and energy!

I went a little crazy. I had this idea that the government was watching me and that special members of the media and heads of state were my blessed apostles to save the world from it's sins. So I stayed up jerking and writing love poetry to them on Twitter for years on end.

I finally realized that I had to stop after going through my entire supply of Adderall in aafew days after gaining the miraculous ability to project my feelings to God's special daughters as I wasted my seed in a hands free masturbatory frenzy. It took a while to cool off from that fantasy, but I did.

I finally stopped masturbating about the beginning of 2017 and eventually gained the ability to keep myself from consciously ejaculating in my bed in the company of evil succubi.

I still continue to have wet dreams. The most I have gone without one was about 3 weeks last last year. Now days they are about 5 days apart. These occur while I am in chastity devices like cock cages and completely flaccid in the medieval device called Kali's teeth. The lengths that I have gone through and the restrictions I have placed on myself to get rid of the desire to masturbate are tantamount to torture. Cold showers, no sodas, no video games, no TV (except for obligatory family time!) Every reasonable measure I have taken. I have come to the conclusion that wet dreams are a normal part of life for non masturbators and a quickly forgotten reward for gaining the discipline to keep the penis tucked away. So now I embrace them.

I still get urges and the chaser effect can be a real pain (unless you're on Vitex. It wipes it out through forced anhedonia.) So that's why I'm hoping God made a wife for me and now that I can keep a job I think I will be looking for her.

In the past 6 months I have upgraded to a job that is enjoyable, offers me great freedom, and pays a living wage. I have shunned my penis from my hands and replaced it with a bow, learning the fundamentals of violin. Every day it sounds better and better. I suppose when I get the inspiration I will make a new track because I have learned to play instrument! I'm sure it will sound good if I play it slow and with auto tune!

Don't be afraid to be you, because you are God's precious child and adorable when he looks at you, because of your quirks. Thanks for being here for each other and don't give up.

Love,
Lester