Young man wants to abstain from softcore and "bro bating"

Hello, dear NoFap community! First off: I am not a native speaker, so please excuse any mistakes I make!

I am a 21 year old student (I renounced to type in my real birth date, because I am afraid somebody from RL could find me here), who wants to quit picture and video based masturbation.

Since I am 9, I am regularly fapping to softcore material. I am not a big fan of porn, though I rather use it at the end of my "sessions". Since I am 16, I discovered group masturbation, which happens in many dedicated chatrooms spread all over the internet. I connected with those "wanking communities" and found many "bating bros", with whom I furiously developed this "hobby". In this chatrooms, it is known as "gooning" or "edging", but most of you will know. I noticed how it changed my still evolving sex life, and how normal real life girls get more boring for me. I also realized not so long ago that my masturbation behaviours cannot be normal, sitting hours and hours in front of my monitor, jacking it to fake silicone women with other "lads", instead of getting stuff done that is important and advantageous for my life.

Masturbation to those materials makes me weak, foggy minded and unmotivated. I tried NoFap for 11 days until yesterday (more bad than right, with lots of edging without cumming, so it was rather "NoSplash"), where I sadly relapsed while first looking at pictures from Anastasiya Kvitko, then at porn to cum; again with "lads" on Discord. I am pretty sure many of you here are familiar with those communites, and how unhealthy they are for sexual relations to one's self and others. On those chatrooms, there are for example so called "sissies", who are proud to have "edged away their balls" and who'd like to become women or "bimbos" (a sexist term for "dumb women" with mostly huge breasts or buttocks). For me, this is really disturbing, and even if I was never that deep into porn addiction that I developed those trans "fetishes" (which are also officially classified as sexual disorders, just google "autogynephilia"), I do not want to stay in contact with people like this.

My goal is to completely reboot and get boners in normal situations again. I do not wanna go through my city in the summer and be completey unaffected by half naked, beautiful, young, good smelling chicks by the lake. I wanna have the confidence and the balls to talk to girls in bars, ask them out for their numbers, and just be a chill dude with whom many want to hang out. I want to be a potent, good looking sex partner, who is able to have meaningful and normal relationships with girls my age, may they include sex or not. I also want to get away from my love for women that are unnatural and full of plastic (to be honest, I loved referring to "plastic bimbos" while jerking with others).

The most depressing thing for me is my sexual dysfunction. My dick really just gets hard when I start to rub it, and I am sick of it. Jerking without material has barely happened in the last few years, and I know that my sexual fantasies are suffering from porn. I used to be very good at dirty talk, and my ex said what she loved the most about our nights was me talking to her. Porn cuts down that ability, because it replaces my fantasies, and I know that. When I tried to jerk off without materials, I always noticed how I fantasized about what I've seen in porn before. This is not a good status quo.

I had a relationship for ~ 3 years, and after ~ 1,5 years, my ex and I discovered sex together. At first it was great, I was able to hump for hours like an animal and I was potent like a bull. Then I slowly discovered how much "fun" porn can be, and I locked myself into my ex's bathroom to jerk for Brooklyn Chase sucking multiple dicks, instead of having sex with my girlfriend. From those days on, I had problems with erecting and with stamina. When I abstained from porn to have sex with my girl, I noticed how extremely fast I needed to cum. Normal sex was not possible anymore. Even while sex, I tried to edge. While I do not think that edging is a bad technique to have longer sex nights, I think it is not good when you make it mutual and combine it with porn or softcore.

So, this all summed up makes me (of course) feel like a fucking loser. Not a loser at life, because I have a pretty decent life with lots of friends and family who love and like me very much. But I feel like a sexual loser. I just can't feel like a real man, and I do not have the feeling I have enough sexual energy to satisfy a girl, though I am not bad looking at all. I consider myself as an extremely attractive individual. And I hope I can reach my relationship goals and solve my dysfunctions via NoFap!

If you find anything strange or disagree on any points with me, let me know! I hope I can have a great time here, and I am sure with the help of this community and enough willpower, I'll make it! I wish everyone who reads this a nice day!

 

Hey @--TheRuminant-- ,

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

* L

PS: Say Hello to a few members. Just open their profile and say "hi" and introduce yourself. You'll find a great community. This is only a short list. There are many many more great people on here.

@GeeWhizz Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152127/
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@julianstone Journals at https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146584/
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@PatrickR Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139570/
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@HerculesStop Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/140098/
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@zakes Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/149243/
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@DavidGibson Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143325/

 

Welcome