Your porn stash after you die?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by learning, Sep 4, 2021.

  1. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    I guess I'm not as bad as that at least LOL
     
    Giacomo Leopardi likes this.
  2. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    For some reason I only see DVDs for sale. I have probably purchased 1000 DVDs and only one flash drive.
     
  3. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    Mine's been gone for years. Would not be able to be in recovery and have P at the same time. It's an addict's contradiction.
    .
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2021
    learning likes this.
  4. PegasusKid

    PegasusKid Fapstronaut

    I was never really much of a "collector" because I didn't really start getting into porn until after high school and at that point dvds and magazines and stuff were old school. The most i had was like some of my favorite pics and gifs saved on my phone for quicker access but I got rid of that like over 3 years ago because I knew that was the first step. I hope mediating on this idea of what your stash would look like if you died today motivates you to get rid of this shit. I know you didn't really ask for advice, but as the person above and others in this thread have said, you gotta rip that shit off like a bandaid and just get rid of all of it in one shot if you ask me, sell it to make some money back, throw it out, smash it up for fun, whatever. Its great that you went 2 years on nofap by simply making it less accessible and that shows huge potential but as you've proven, that only works for so long before the temptation comes back and if you threw that stuff out you could probably drop it for good. Its like trying to quit smoking with a pack of cigarettes in your pocket(which funny enough is kinda what nofap is because most porn use is on mobile phones according to pornhub's 2020 stats).
     
    learning likes this.
  5. BigBrain

    BigBrain Fapstronaut

    Why do you need to be remembered in a certain way, or at all?
    Why does it matter?

    Yes, these are in a way highly philosophical questions, but might hold the answer to the bouts of shame you seems to have over being a PA and especially regarding your collection and taste of porn.
     
    learning likes this.
  6. reminds me of that one time my grandma was going through my uncle's dvd collection and found porn lol
     
    Hadrian3, The Passenger and learning like this.
  7. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    It is how I am remembered by family that matters to me. I don't want my mother or my brother or my sister to be slapped in the face by confronting my secret life as a porn addict. They all know or suspect abstractly that I use porn, but that is not the same as seeing 100 DVDs in a shoe box. It bothers me that it would hurt these family members to see that. It isn't that I want to be remembered in a certain way. Death of a family member is bad enough without the sadness of seeing my porn problem in a box.
     
  8. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    Ugh. I suppose it depends on your grandmother's personality, but I don't think my grandmothers would have handled it too well.
     
    CarP likes this.
  9. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    I agree with everything you wrote except that I know it wouldn't have helped to throw away my porn stash 10 years ago. After my two-year streak I threw away my porn stash at least three times, and it only seemed to make my porn-brain angry. An angry porn-brain isn't helpful. Making the porn inaccessible seemed to upset the porn-brain less so that it wasn't rebelling.

    Unfortunately, the last few years I can't even get motivated enough to do anything to fight the addiction. I've been trying to manage the addiction by making the harm a little less. It has worked a little bit.
     
    silex_jedi likes this.
  10. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    You are making excuses, and you know it. Angry porn-brain is part of the healing process. Why are you trying to appease porn-brain? Porn-brain is not your friend.

    • Pick up shoe box
    • Put in bin
    • Deal with any feelings of regret or anxiety that result from this
    • Get on with your life
     
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  11. Nabson

    Nabson Fapstronaut

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  12. she's not the type to stress about it, she just laughed it off and now tells it as a funny storry
     
    learning likes this.
  13. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    i don't understand enough the psychology of recovery, but maybe you are not ready yet to throw your collection. maybe you should focus on your life, and maybe someday you'll realise that those videos does not matter to you anymore, if you throw them you'll be able to think "whatever"... you are not your emotions, but your emotions have their own lifes, maybe you could listen to them. (yes that sounded corny)

    i've had the same issue with my porn history on my computer... i used to go "quit porn" and delete all trace. wipe the slate clean. recently i relaxed a bit on this approach and told myself i would delete the browser only if i had to give the web browser to a family member...

    what do you think ?
     
    learning likes this.
  14. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    my question is... why would you be so involved with your porn ? it might be weird but maybe there is a reason !

    why so angry (LOL) :)
     
    learning likes this.
  15. Reality check: you don’t get to decide how those who find your porn stash get to think about you. Nor do you get to decide how far and wide they share their findings. In my opinion, you’ll go down as the uncle, grandfather, brother who was a porn addict.

    I’d say there’s one in every family- somewhere along the genealogy lines - and in your family you’d be giving yourself away as the one who was addicted to porn.
     
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  16. BigBrain

    BigBrain Fapstronaut

    Why are you so involved with masturbation that you are on NoFap?
    (Its a rethorical question, don’t answer.)
     
  17. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    Yep, that is what I've found with the history on browsers too. If I clean them out then it riles-up the porn brain and soon I have found and bookmarked most of the same stuff and more.
     
    silex_jedi likes this.
  18. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    A big part of porn for me is nostalgia. Some porn reminds me of porn that excited me in my 20s - certain fantasies or facial features or body types etc. I'm in my 50s and my life today is in many ways worse that when I was in my 20s. That's only one part of it though.
     
    silex_jedi likes this.
  19. LSTHX

    LSTHX Fapstronaut

    I won't have one for them to see on my computer or with other physical items, secondly I've told most of my family that I have a problem with Porn.

    I let go of that rope a long time ago (5 and half + years ago), it was one of my first steps toward being free of Porn for a long period of time.


    This...

    Pretty much what I did, though I didn't need to Burn anything. I should have though, it would have been fun.
     
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  20. I don't have any cds of that, but without being inconvenient, why do you still keep these dvds?
     
    learning likes this.

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