Your reason why you are alone

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by depeche69, Dec 23, 2021.

  1. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    what answer do you give at work, family or in general, if somebody asks you, why are you single?

    My answers so far:
    • I'm failing to hit on attractive women and don't want to lower my standards
    • Single life has to many comfort
    • The right women didn't appear so far
     
  2. I say I'm working on myself, I can't love someone else if I am incapable of loving myself, why put someone you want to love through storms like that, the relationship might sink, women usually agree with me when I say this. I obviously haven't taped into a lot of my problems yet.
     
  3. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    It is what it is. Jk but I have focused on my self and gotten over my past relationships. I have also cured my traumas and learned to accept life. I have also gotten to know some girls but they did not feel like a good fit because of ideologies.

    Also the pandemic makes it easier to justify not approaching complete strangers.

    And I do not go to bars etc, I dont want a girl who drinks/ parties a lot.

    Lots of excuses I guess, but for as long as I accept my situation I do not plan to change my opinions just to have a relationship.
     
  4. lgustavoms

    lgustavoms Fapstronaut

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    This hit home.
     
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  5. magisk789

    magisk789 Fapstronaut

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    most convincing truly real reason is: medical problems , whether it's big like diabetes and hbp or whole body affecting like ehlers danlos, marfan or unknown generalized joint ligament laxity(which i have) , or even smaller problems which is still expensive to treat especially in third world/poor countries like end stage pmo induced erectile dysfunction and to add salt to injury some ppl may get Peyronie's , all this crap because of laziness and selfishness, like no one gives a flying about genetics and generations the good belongs and the bad prevails.
     
    im_done likes this.
  6. I think these are my reasons for why I am alone.
    1. I am trying to strengthen my faith in the Holy Trinity.
    2. I am horrendously shy around women.
    3. Pandemic is making it hard to socialize with anyone other than outside the internet.
     
  7. Do you owe people an explanation about how you choose to live?
     
    rey49 likes this.
  8. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    How would you handle this, when you are ask this question?
    This question is asked in common. I don't like it, because you reveal that you have a desire and you are not able to fulfill it.
    I think giving an answer is the best way.
    Not answering, hiding or rude answer is a sign of insecurity.
     
    WanderTruth likes this.
  9. KKS123

    KKS123 Fapstronaut

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    This ^
     
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  10. No man, that isn't how it works. Addicts have problems with personal boundaries.

    An addict tries to appease everybody because of fear.

    In recovery, that habit must end.

    You need to live in fear and uncertainty if you will recover.
     
  11. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    No woman wants me and I tried speed dating events, date sites, approaching women on streets... I am cursed to be alone in this world.
     
  12. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    hypotheses, i am not sure. i don't know if i want to know for sure. i should.
    1. people can't rely on me,
    2. they say i can't make decisions,
    3. i am a bit susceptible,
    4. i am fake around people,
    5. i have told i would do things did i did not end up doing,
    6. i have been arrogant,
    7. i have a hard time listening to people i consider boring, even though i know for sure i can learn anything from ANYBODY,
    8. i often feel like i should not be where i am,
    9. for the time being i hate myself,
    10. i am like a boat left adrift in the storm.
     
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  13. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

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    i have tried dating someone with EDS last year, a girl.

    she is the reason i am here on this forum. i started to precipitate into love, and she quickly pulled back, and i was left with my chaotic binary emotions of love and sadness... she does suffer a lot. i am glad she set the limit. BUT,
    i can't get to even say hello to her as a human being even though my feelings are gone now.
     
    im_done likes this.
  14. Nobody ever asked me this question.

    Oh wait, maybe some dates asked.
    Because that's one of the questions we are always talking about:
    Why are you single :D
     
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  15. magisk789

    magisk789 Fapstronaut

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    the problem is when you get kids they get this bad disease too, unless if you can modify genes which i don't think is possible yet , i mean you can't even cure diabetes.
     
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  16. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    Well i am asked this question often at work or at family.
    Because in our society your worth as a men depends on how much success you have at women. If you confess that you are single, because the women don't want you, you are looked as a loser or as a creep.

    I must confess, that this social stigma is hurting me more, than being alone in general. That's why i am looking for good answer to deal this situation with convidence.
     
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  17. Well that indeed may hurt you.
    Being vulnerable is a good thing sometimes, but not everybody reacts in the same way.
    So be careful what to say. Sometimes just set a boundary:
    It's not of your business.
    Or
    What the heck, shall I decide for myself what's good for me?

    I work for my own business so I don't have colleagues that I see every single other day, I think that has helped me to become more autonome.

    In the end, people always talk about you, good or bad.
    So yeah, what the heck.
     
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  18. im_done

    im_done Fapstronaut

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    Me?
    - My appearance. I look objectively masculine, but not in the aesthetically pleasing sense. I scare people. But I'm getting rid of my glasses, straightening my teeth, and growing out my hair.
    - My car broke down and so did my dating privileges. I refuse to be the bum that has kids or an SO but with no capital of my own.
    - Dating is exhausting and I would rather by a pro/escort.
    - Someone above said single life provides too many comforts and I agree.
     
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  19. depeche69

    depeche69 Fapstronaut

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    upload_2021-12-28_18-0-11.png
     
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  20. Nah. All you need to do is rebuild through a hard mode reboot.

    If you suffer through it, the rest of life takes care of itself.
     

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