Your sexually conditioned to PMO and not real intimacy.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Aug 28, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    PIED sufferers desensitization can be a big part of the problem. This is when you need hardcore, weird porn to get and maintain an erection, when you need to keep constantly searching more and more and more to get and maintain an erection, yet when your not watching porn or more importantly with a woman right before sex you can't get or maintain an erection

    But I believe the sexual conditioning is a deeper problem than the desensitization. When I say deeper I mean it's deeper in the brain, it's a powerful wiring in the brain caused from years of heavy or constant PMO use. So when you think about searching porn on your computer, when you think about searching an arousing image on your computer you get a powerful sexual urge and this gives you an erection, when you search and look at porn and arousing images this gives you an erection. Your brain is seriously wired to PMO and sends powerful sexual urges when you think about searching porn and images, and when you search porn and images. This is the sexual cues your brain responds to, when you open your computer or go on your phone and think about searching for porn or images.

    But when your with a woman right before sex your brain isn't responding to those sexual cues. Your brain hasn't been wired to this behaviour, this is alien to your brain. Your brain should be responding to natural sexual cues such as looking at a woman in real life, cuddling a woman in real life, kissing a woman in real life. But your brain doesn't send sexual cues for that, it sends sexual cues when you open your computer or go on your phone and think about searching for porn and artificial sexual stimulation. This is what you have trained your brain that sex is, and your brain just responds accordingly.

    This in my opinion is the most difficult thing to reverse. If you have had little or no sexual experience and you have spent years jacking off to porn and artificial sexual stimulation then your brain thinks masturbating to porn and artificial sexual stimulation is sex. Like I say right before you go on your computer, phone or what ever to look at this stuff your brain sends a powerful sexual urge, and this is your brain responding to the sexual cues you have wired and trained your self to respond to. Your brain actually thinks right before you search for porn or artificial sexual stimulation that it is about to have sex, and it's thinks it's having sex when your masturbating to it. But if your with a real woman right before sex your brain doesn't respond to those natural sexual cues, as it hasn't learned or been wired to this.

    It's actually a combo of desensitisation and sexual conditioning. Once you resensitize enough you might respond to natural sexual cues because your so sensitive. So this is a good thing.

    So it's really about starving your brain of this behaviour of searching, viewing and jacking off to porn and artificial sexual stimulation, and wiring your brain to real women.

    If a female your attracted to is offering you sex and your getting intimate with her, then you should be seriously sexually excited and have a solid erection from this. But if you feel nothing or hardly anything from it then your either desensitized or not sexually conditioned to real intimacy, or both, probably both.

    You know that extreme sexual excitement you get right before you search for porn? That is what your supposed to feel like right before you have sex.

    I feel like failure is a big part of the process. Failure because you will relapse, and also failure because you probably won't be able to psychically have successful sex for a while. But I guess it's just finding a woman that would be understanding of this. Which lets face it might be a bit of an issue.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2019
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  2. holding_energy

    holding_energy Fapstronaut

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  3. holding_energy

    holding_energy Fapstronaut

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  4. Elihu

    Elihu Fapstronaut

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    I'd love to hear from folks that have this issue and have abstained for long than I have. I don't know if waiting is rewriting my brain towards positive/natural sexual desires. I can look at my wife in her sex poses day and night, caress and satisfy her orally and not even consider having sex. 0 activity in the pants. Really sucks. Once in a blue moon when I'm not consciously thinking about trying to have sex, the magic happens. I won't orgasm, but the equipment will be working. Lately it's just be dead... nothing. Makes mew want to look for P though I'm not going to PMO. I keep not doing it though and have too many activities to do to find them time to waste going backwards.

    If it was as simple as swapping P for turning me on to my wife (or your desired partner), this would be cake.
     
  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Another thing you need to remember is if you have been with the same partner for a while the sexual excitement does naturally get less. It's obviously more sexually exciting in the beginning, but when you have been with the same partner for a while you naturally become less sexually excited. But if a new female comes along you're extremely sexually excited again.

    This is the Coolidge effect, and it happens in all mammals, which is what human beings are, mammals. It's designed this way to make sure as many females are impregnated as possible, and this carries on the species.

    Mammals in the wild wouldn't just be with one partner, they sleep around with many different partners. I think there is certain species of birds that have one partner their entire lifetime, but it's not something that usually happens in mammals. It only happens in humans because we have become more civilised. A long time ago our ancestors before humans became civilised wouldn't of just had one sexual partner. So really humans go against nature when you think about it, because in all of our history the majority of it we wouldn't of had one sexual partner, but because we became more civilised it's a somewhat new thing we do. We naturally seek sexual novelty and are naturally more sexually excited by something new. Like I mentioned before this is the Coolidge effect and it's designed this way to further the survival of our species making sure as many females are impregnated as possible.

    This is why high speed internet porn is so bad. Because there's never ending sexual novelty on high speed internet. So you just keep searching more and more and more. Every time you think of searching something more dopamine is released, every time you search something more dopamine is released, every time you find something more dopamine is released, and then you go to more extreme porn genres, more novelty, more dopamine. All this causes dopamine to go sky high in the brain, higher than the human brain was designed to be able to handle.
     
  6. holding_energy

    holding_energy Fapstronaut

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