You're never alone if you become friends with your inner child .

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Chefb87, May 2, 2020.

  1. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

    Morning everyone.
    I'm currently on day 370. Of no PMO, and right now I feel like I've been concentrating alot on my inner child. And establishing a closer relationship with him. And I'm realizing alot about myself lately. In every single relationship. Romantic and non romantic I always felt like I had to morph into what I thought the other person wanted me to be. I always wanted everyone to like me so badly that I was constantly hiding my real self.
    Now I'm learning that the most important person I want to like me ... Is me. And I'm finding the best way to do that. Is this ;
    Sit in a dark room, close your eyes and pay attention inward. What do you feel ? Is there an uncomfortable " black hole feeling " in your chest ?
    That is your inner child ! With broken bones, bruises, bloody cuts, stuffed in a dark, cold, wet cave. He feels so hurt, alone, scared, and ignored. And everytime you try and distract yourself from that uncomfortable black hole feeling whether it be from porn, drugs , or even. Something as simple as scrolling aimlessly through your phone when you're bored. You are ignoring that poor , injured , scared 3-5 year old self. And everytime you distract yourself from his pain he sees that you're ignoring him . And it only solidifies his feelings of hurt, not good enough , loneliness , fear .
    Take some time and be with that black hole feeling , and know that everytime you are with that feeling. You're little inner child sees that you are looking at him , and paying attention to him .
    Visualize that, talk to him, reassure that you see him, and you're there for him now. Protect him.
    And stand up for him. And show him the love that he may have never felt before or never felt like he deserved. The more you do this , your inner child will learn, heal, and slowly start to feel safe may e for the first time in your life.

    I know this may seem like nonsense , or jibberish to some, but I hope it resonates with some!

    Have weekend everyone !
    Hracku, Playmaker97, Metis07 and 6 others like this.
  2. Meditation is the key to our adventure. By spending time with ourselves, we get to know ourselves.

    This process of personal development is not a struggle. The goal is not to reach perfection or to satisfy our desires, but rather to realize who we really are.

    For many people it is a struggle. It causes a lot of suffering and frustration. Personal development is above all taking care of ourselves as we would take care of our own child. Both in our actions and in the way we think.

    Taking action out of love rather than out of a feeling of lack changes a life. We never yell at a plant to make it grow faster. So why do we do this to ourselves?

    Happiness is not in the future. It is not in what we will achieve in the future. It is already there. Personal development is not about adding skills. It is about realizing our true nature.

    What's the point of realizing our dreams if we are not at peace with ourselves? :)

    Too many people talk about becoming the best version of themselves. That's a load of crap.
    We already are the love we pursue.
    Not everything we learn is the whole truth. Even when we think it is. The more time we spend with ourselves, the closer we get to that truth.

    But what we learn through practice is much more valuable and it makes much more sense than the intellectual truth (such as reading Books)

    You're on the right path! I wish you the best my friend
    Last edited by a moderator: May 2, 2020
  3. Hracku

    Hracku New Fapstronaut

    Ciertamente todos tenemos nuestros propios demonios y virtudes... Tu demonio nunca querra que las encuentres,y la vitud más hermosa es tambien la mas dificil de desenterrar , la ultima y definitiva... Y es el del "amor propio" asi lo procura tu demonio... Llevo tan solo unos pocos dias en nofap pero se que acá encontrare almas similares y me alegro de ello.
  4. ankith

    ankith Fapstronaut

    It's IFS therapy right? is this the correct method or is there anything else extra?
  5. oz_oz_oz_A

    oz_oz_oz_A New Fapstronaut

    I tried this way it worked for some time but now i trust no one and everyone there is against me i dont trust them and now me anymore i just cant overcome the feeling that it cant be trusted. Its devastating me
  6. ankith

    ankith Fapstronaut

    Well even I felt like that, try to think of it from their point of few and forgive them
  7. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut


    Hey ! I haven't heard of IFS therapy. I googled it and I can definitely see the resemblance.
  8. This is a really amazing post. I can relate to every single sentence you wrote. It is true. I have a kid inside me that I want to bring out, in all honesty he is more better than who I am on the outside. And what we must do is spent A LOT of time alone like with what you said here:
    Daily we distract ourselves with shit like music, the phone, the internet, the news, you name it! We must spend a lot of time(and I mean really by yourself, sit in a dark room or somewhere vacant by yourself no phones or friends) by ourselves it won't take a day, two days, or even a week it is a marathon not a sprint. We fully need to understand ourselves so we can truly love ourselves and feel like we need someone else to love us.
    Metis07, Deleted Account and Chefb87 like this.
  9. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

    You're right. We distract ourselves with everything. Obviously our addictions , but things as simple as scrolling through our phone. When there is a very badly wounded , hurt, and scared 3 year old self in us. That so desperately needs us to look at him, hug him, and say to him. " I love you, I've got you , and I'm not leaving ever again , and I'm sorry "
    sfmark12 and Metis07 like this.
  10. That's poetry right there, my friend.
    Chefb87 likes this.

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