Hello friends, how are you doing? I have a doubt here. I was thinking about doing M without watching P. Is it ok to do that? Or does it have same effects in brain as P+M? Can someone explain?
It’s normally recommend that you quit both for 90 days. For most men and pmo addicts porn and MO are too interconnected to make quitting One and not the other feasible. Most relapse because they have only Moed to porn or they still need the fantasize about porn when they MO. The other issue is to untrained yourself from your own hand. If you are in a relationship this is pretty much necessary particularly if you are having ED problems and if you are not then it’s likely to cause issues when you do get into one unless you fix it. You have told your brain and body that sexual pleasure comes from your hand and a screen and one of the reasons for NoFap is to unlearn that. I do understand that for most men the prospect of giving up MO is just too daunting of a task. If you are in that boat then I would recommend stopping all porn and gradually reducing your MO until you are not at all. No PMO is not ideal for everyone I suppose but i think most addicts that have tried it will tell you that you have to cut out both and in continuing to MO you are only prolonging your recovery and your own pain. For most it’s just easier to rip the bandaid off and feel the pain all at once. Others prefer to gradually pull it off even though it hurts more. Whatever works for you is what’s important. Don’t be discouraged totally from NoFap if you can’t immediately give up both. The only thing I would add is ask yourself why do you not want to give up MO? I think your answer to that question will guide your recovery.
I'm not against masturbating, but agree with GG2002 and sfmark. Most of us have trained our brains to PMO. I'm in my 40's and before NoFap, I can't remember a time I masturbated without a pornographic image. Reboot first (this may be the hardest part) and then see where that takes you. When I started I thought, "90 days will be a piece a cake." I've been on this journey for two years. I've had a number of successes, but never quite make it to 90 days. So consider avoiding masturbation until you retain your brain.
Honestly, it's your choice. Most people on this site are fully against masturbation as much as they are against porn. Personally, I feel some masturbation is perfectly healthy. it's when it becomes a compulsion that it's a problem. So use your best judgement. The one thing I'll say is that it could be a slippery slope, and you could M and decide Midway that it's not good enough without a stimulant and start watching porn. So know yourself and learn what you need and what your goals are first.
You're still pleasuring yourself. That's what all this is about. Masturbating is JUST AS BAD as porn.
In my opinion, masturbating and watching nudity or people having sex are inextricably linked. Two sides of the same coin, if you like. Masturbation and orgasm releases dopamine. If you do not watch porn, it is almost certain you will fantasise about porn type scenarios. This will sabotage your efforts to stop viewing porn. So stop both and recover brother. No short cut!
Let me link what I just wrote in another topic this very minute : https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/whats-the-problem-with-m-o.134702/#post-1072391
A good link, and here's what I would say about this: It ultimately depends on the situation with the individual. When I M, I don't find myself Ming for hours. As long as I'm not watching P, it's sort of a one-and-done deal. If I feel the strong desire to M, I will, and I'll have no desire to PMO after that. I'm guessing that's not the case for many people who are saying that if they try to just M, they M for hours and that leads to P. We aren't psychologists here, and I don't think we should pretend to be. That said, we are dealing with mental and emotional processes in the brain--a one-size-fits-all approach just doesn't seem like an intelligent reasoned approach to me--it borders on a cultish mentality, and I think we need to be very careful about prescribing "The Cure" for this condition. That's just my two-cents. Everybody here is just trying to help.
Speaking for myself, I decided to go without both P and M. This isn't because I'm against M, just that I have trouble preventing thoughts of P sneaking into my head when I'm Ming. I feel it's important to be honest with yourself in this. If you are sure that you can M without any thoughts of P, then I don't see it as a problem. But if you're at all unsure, better to go without both. And be careful that you aren't fooling yourself that P during Ming isn't a problem because you don't want to give up Ming. - Ozatm
What exactly are you trying to get out of this? That's the real question. For me -- quitting porn has reduced my need for masturbation which in turn has made me in the past be more attracted to my GF. I'm single now, but quitting P is also a huge motivational factor for dating again and being social. I quit porn because I realized it had a negative impact on my life in several facets. Nothing too debilitating, but I'm better off without it. It's also an attempt to lead a more "natural" lifestyle. I think masturbation is fine, but I also know doing too much of anything is bad. So my goal is quitting porn and thus reducing my MO habits as well.
My goals are virtually identical, except that I'm married. Definitely feel closer to my wife since attempting to quit P / cutting down on MO. My longest streak P free was 40 days, and I'm trying to get back to a lengthy streak like that.
How often do you guys have sex? Be truthful. I hardly needed to masturbate when I was dating my last GF because I would get enough sex. However, if she doesn't seem to want sex/intimacy much anymore which can sometimes happen -- it's difficult to maintain happiness sexually. At least it was for me. Instead of bringing it up with her, I turned to porn. But to be honest, if she wasn't making any effort for sex and it was always me... it was doomed to fail anyhow.
I hope that's not my own two cents that you qualify as one-size-fits-all-cure-that-borders-on-cultish-mentality-issued-by-wannabee-psychologist-that-isnt-one Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but you got to admit that's a bit harsch ^^
My issue with this is if you've watched porn in the past, it's only a matter of time before you seek it again once you've made masturbation part of your habits after your 90 days. I've gone with streaks of both 98 days, 47 days & 174 days respectively over the last 2 years and once I relapsed it only became a matter of time before my MO habits spiralled out of control again and porn became an option, since well, I've been MO'ing in anyway. Now I don't want to attribute my behaviour to everyone else, but I am sure that the effects that MO has on your brain after 90+ Nofap streak is quite intense; it can be likened to the same chemical reaction that a heroin addict experiences in their brain, when taking a shot after a similar "break" or "recovery period". This powerful feeling can easily encourage you to watch porn again; in essence, as Jesus said (and I'm not being preachy, consider this a quote from any other man that walked the earth such as yourself), "If your right arm causes you to sin, chop it off", so if masturbation causes you to watch porn, well...I'm sure you get the picture.
We are usually intimate once or twice a week because we have weird schedules and often don't see each other at length until the weekend. That's when she isn't on her period of course. So, three to four times a month. It's still easy to convince myself this isn't frequent enough, so that's one of the mental hurdles I'm trying to get over.
I didn't mean it as an insult, but it's something I see constantly on these boards. People saying, basically, "Nope, that's the wrong way to do it." The fact is, none of this has been clinically or medically confirmed. We are on our own out here. Even if we use our own made-up jargon, that doesn't make us medical experts. I think it's important to keep that in mind.