Im just here for my wife. What should i do as a husband to help her quit and be happier? I know I aint a peach. She just recently started telling me about her relapses.
Hey, Welcome. You will find support here. If you wife is a pmo addict, you can support her. Of course, supporting her means encouraging her reboot and participation on NoFap. One way to support her may not seem obvious. Don't be co-dependent. By co-dependent I mean helping her habit. Put a filter on the internet, make sure her "alone time" is spent without the comforts she's arranged, if you pay for the phones, turn off the mobile data on her line. Most importantly, don't co-sign her BS. By that I mean, when she comes up with some wild excuse as to what or why something was done and you know she's just making an excuse for pmo, call her on it. Don't just help her arrange whatever she's trying to talk you into. You didn't cause this, it's not your problem, and you can't fix it. It's her recovery, her program, she's the one that needs to work her program. L
Thanks. Shes got a filter. I dont make excuses either. But i can be kinda rough and Im tryin to be more calm so she comes to me for help. I dont feel shes safe if I took her phone. But maybe turning off data for her. I try not to control her but I do a little when she needs.little lady needs help. Thankyou
Not to be nit-picky, but I think the term you mean is "enabler." "That word. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - The Princess Bride
Tim G, Yes. Exactly what I meant. Too many years in AA and AL-Anon. Co-dependent is a 12 step word. Enabler is pretty much the same thing - but not. So, yes, not being an enabler or co-dependent is very good advice to anyone in a relationship with any kind of addict. L
Congratulations! This is a very kind gesture for her! Try reading threads in "Women in Reboot" to understand her and in "Significant Others" for your support!
Im not the one who needs support. Im here less for me and more for her. To be more involved and help her get better