in that moment when he hurt you, what went through your head? Is that why you are here? if not please expound?
It was very unlike him to be selfish and hurt me during sex. I joined nofap to understand more about what happened in my marriage and to get and give support. It is shocking to me how P use changed him. He became irritable and impatient and was not the husband or father that I knew he could be. He became very critical of my appearance, never complimented me, and wouldnt touch me.
so sorry to hear that. I can feel the pain coming in through the keys. is it just the 2 years how long has this fully unfolded?
He started P use 10 years ago and it got really bad during the past 3 years including the 2 years of no sex. I found out 4.5 months ago.
Probably 6-8 years. He is a very gentle and kind person, but he would say really odd or hurtful things here amd there (getting much worse in the 2 years of no sex). 5 years ago I did a boudiour photoshoot for him. When he saw the photos he looked through them quickly then said " you should have shown your p***y". Things like that. No compliments.
um hm i am rsorry for the delay i was helping a friend. what is your love language? feeling, seeing or hearing. how is his use presently?
and when takes you to that dark place is it more of a pain or an anger torwards him, and do you blame yourself.
PM replaced much of the intimacy and sexual relation in my relationship, which is over six years long now. I experienced a lot of ED and often would not be able to orgasm without fantasizing about porn/other women. This put a definite strain on our relationship, because even though I loved her deeply at that time, my efforts and thought spent on her weren’t near what I was spending on P. It caused considerable issues in regards to both her and my self esteem, and especially under the sheets. This continued until around six to eight months after completely dropping P and M, and now I haven’t experienced any sexual malfunction when I’m in the mood. It’s best to reverse that trend ASAP because of the hurt one can cause and disregarding much of the potential connection with one’s partner.
The last 7 years before D day we had sex maybe 10-15 times, going very long periods inbetween. By 'sex' I mean barely any piv as hubs would lose E. He always finished himself. We did have an okay sex life before this but hubs worked away a lot so we never had an 'average amount per week'. It was when we saw each other. The year before our son was conceived (I now know) my hubs used porn to combat his DE and basically used my body whilst he fantasized (although I didn't know it at the time). He refused ANY intimacy and rejected me during pregnancy in favour of the PMO he was fast becoming addicted to. From then on he chose PMO and real life MO over me for 6 years (except for a handful of attempts).
This is horrible and so similar to my situation. During pregnancy and post partum, my husband wouldnt touch me either. All my friend's husband's would chase them for sex so to speak, while my husband continuously rejected me.
I have only just recently realised how much my P habit had affected our intimacy. I started having ED issues over a year ago, went to the doctor but still used P to get off and didn't think it was the cause! We hardly had any intimacy and i can only imagine how she felt during this time. I was blinded to what P was doing to me and our relationship, only now can I see it and am determined to channel all my desires to her. I hope it all works out for you.
I’m so sorry for what everyone is going through. My boyfriend has had ED for many years, we’ve been together for almost two... it’s been about 8 days since he stopped P and M... but he doesn’t say it’s an addiction. I’m pretty sure it is. Anyway, the reason I’m responding here is because I really felt a heart tug about when the PA is suppose to be making love to their SO, but they are thinking about/ fantasizing about P and the women in them. I asked him the other night in our first talk about this, and he very nonchalantly said, I think of P and other women. I asked, do you think of me? No. Heart broken.
WOW I AM SO HEAR BROKEN FOR YOU. & DA NILE IS A RIVER IN EGYPT. THERE CAN BE NO TRUE TRANSFORMATION UNTIL HE HIMSELF REALIZES IT, AND DECIDES TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. TELL HIM YOU ARE NOT HAVING THAT SHIT! YOU WILL BE SURPRISED AT THE POWER YOU HAVE!