Hello Everyone (Brothers and Sisters), I would like to share with you, how i broke the 30 days (After I slipped on day 152 and on day 332). 1. Believe that you can stay sober. (Fake it till you make it) I know it sounds easy but the result is amazing according to many researches and experiments. You always get, what you believe in positive or negative. If you believed that you can't reach 30 days then you will never reach to 30 days. I personally start journalling almost everyday that I am PMO free and the day Came. Simply Imagine that 30 days is super easy till you do it. 2. Burn your boats. Like Tony Robbins said “If you want to take the island you need to burn the boats.” Retreat is easy when you have the option. The choice of watching porn shouldn't it be an option, delete all the options that might lead you to PMO such quitting Netflix or buy software that block porn, etc 3. Don't think too much about Addiction. Quitting PMO is just like quitting any other bad habit. I am very sure that most of us gave up a bad habit in the last 4 or 5 years of our lives (quitting or reducing coffee, reducing too much T.V, Eating too much junk food, etc.) If you did it before with other habits then i assure you that you can do it again with PMO. Habit change takes time, discipline and dedication. 4. Study Yourself and Watch your Triggers. I am sure that most of us studied the best time to PMO where less people will interrupt us during PMOing, The best position for the computer, etc. Now it's the other way around. Study your triggers. Watch the exact date and time that you want to check porn and try to replace it with positive activities. For example, I used to PMO on Friday night as a reward for myself that i finished the week. Now I found a voluntary work on Friday after my job which doesn't give me time to PMO 5. Treat your Body as an Infant. Getting enough sleep, Eating well, Working out, Meditation (Praying) Those things are very important for your recovery and will increase your will power. Treat your body as a child who you should care about him/her. Don't ever underestimate the power of the nervous system. 6. Search for other things that will make you happy. (For me that was the toughest thing) I know that most of us looks at PMO as a reward to makes us feel good. We usually look at porn when we are angry, sad or happy, but That's the real challenge. I kept searching for my hobbies because i didn't even know what are my hobbies beside watching porn - I went to join drawing class and i didn't feel that happy, i went to learn Spanish, i joined many activities just for the sake of knowing what makes me feel good. 7. Connection.. Connection.. Connection. Go out, make more contacts, find good friends, go to meetings (SLA, SCA groups), date real women, accept rejection and move on. By the way, I got rejected from 2 girls and I am still alive. There is no shame to be rejected, the real shame is what I felt after the PMO. 8. Reward yourself. Yes, Recovery is not all about punishment and consequences. Rewards can be a good motivation for every milestone you achieve (5 days, 7 days, 10 days, 20 weeks, 3 weeks, - You plan it the way that you like) and even when you pass difficult times, reward yourself by going to a restaurant or buying something good as sign of victory that you passed a difficult time. write a list of rewards and link it with time and when passing a strong urge. Finally nothing is free in this world, sobriety isn't for free. There is always a price we need to pay in-order to free ourselves from PMO. Don't be shy to pay money to try a new hobby or for a software that will block porn. Sacrifice watching some shows or type of movies that might trigger you. I know this is not easy for everyone but it is possible and it is worth it. I really wish I didn't get sober - said nobody ever Thank you very much for reading and I wish for all you to reach your goals.
Congratulations. This is all very well stated. I have actually hit double digits for the first time in probably 2 years! And I plan on keeping going and studying/improving further.
Thanks, Congratulations. I remember that feelings too when i reached to the double digits for the first time. Don't forget point number 7, Reward yourself. Go and celebrate your victory
Amazing buddy! Congratulations on your success. Thanks for sharing some actionable strategies - I agree with them all.
This is a fantastic post. One of the best and most practical posts I have read. i plan to follow this as daily help sheet. I hope one day I have your strength X
hey i dont have any accountablity partner & struggling with it all alone so it would be a great help if u be my accountability partner whatsapp: +91 9455869211
Thank you brother, this is going to really help me, next Friday after another week clean I am going to reward myself with a new pair of trainers