Hi everyone, I'm a 20 y/o male virgin and I'm having some difficulty in making a decision about my virginity. That is, when I do finally get to experience sex for my first time, I want the girl to be my girlfriend so we can have a mutual connection with one another. I know it will take some time for me to reboot and recover from my almost 10 year PMO addiction, but I only have 1 request and that is all I ask for. I want her to be a virgin as well. However, I've found it extremely difficult to find a girl my age who is still a virgin. If I get in a relationship with a girl who tells me she is not a virgin, I'm afraid I will give her the cold shoulder and break up with her. I know it sounds selfish but I really want to prevent any potential risks of contracting an STD. All suggestions are welcome.
BE WATER MY FRIEND Now what does my classic Bruce Lee style advice means? It means that you should stop thinking about whether the girl you like will be a virgin or not! Who knows! Maybe you will find a virgin and she will be selfish and make your life a constant headache? On the other hand you might find a not-virgin girl who will make your life a breeze and you will find true happiness with her! So stop thinking about something that you can never control and know for sure.
You can never be sure... Some STDs can be transferred from birth and can't be helped! But they are very very rare. And if it comes to that why don't you get tested and both of you will know for sure.
True you make sense, and I still think that once I'm recovered from PMO, I will take my pick of which girl I want and decide from there. If she's a virgin and clean, I will be more inclined to her. And if she's a non-virgin but makes my life a breeze, I would still be open to that idea, but definitely will ask her to test to make sure she's free of any STD's, and if she refuses to test then I won't go through with sex with her.
Because there is a chance that she has an STD if she's been with other guys? I don't make up the rules of sex, I'm looking out for my best interests before I put myself in a situation where I can get sick. If she doesn't get tested then I simply won't have sex with her.
http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/statistics/ And btw I'm not assuming anything, the reason I want her to test is to confirm for both of us to know for sure. Otherwise it's not worth it because my health and my life are more of a priority than the quick pleasure of sex lol.
Hate to break this to you man....but seeking for virginity irrespective of male/female is like trying to discover a new island or finding one of the rarest element on earth...if you go searching for that...you might be disappointed... Instead search for someone with whom your beliefs, your thoughts , your goals....matches I know this is your first time..so its obvious to have lots of expectations...but trust me after you lose it..in retrospect it won't sound a big deal... And if you are bit apprehensive on the STD front..the good' ol rubber contraceptive is up for grabs..!! If you are still doubtful about the girl at hand....keep searching till you find another one where you seem clarified.. All the best for big day!!
Thanks bro, I really appreciate the support. I'm often misinterpreted in my posts on NoFap, but in reality I made those previous posts out of feeling hurt and instead of doing something negative in real life, I redirected the anger into my post. The truth is, I really just want to feel safe in my sexuality and confident that I can maintain a healthy life aside from abstaining from PMO.
I think the one thing that keeps me in the PMO cycle the most is simply the worry I'll never find a girlfriend and finally get release apart from PMO. The thought of maybe NEVER having an orgasm again, apart from the rare wet dream, is very scary. It just shows how addicted I am to orgasm, though, and my need for a reboot in the first place.
Same here, my want for the release is so strong right now even though I'm only on day 1. Sometimes it isn't always about the release for me when I PMO, obviously after I end I close the browser right away, but sometimes I browse for a few minutes clicking from video to video to find the right scene for that moment. In retrospect it sounds sick for a person to do that, but a reboot is definitely necessary to regain clarity of what it is to be a man. I believe you can go from loser to winner in 90 days over the course of a reboot because I've felt the energy and motivation to change my life for the better on my past streaks.