I have some worries concerning my future spouse. I just don't know whether or not I should tell my future wife about my addiction after 1 year of freedom from PM. I asked my mom what I should do about this issue and she said that I should never talk about my addiction even if I get rid of this addiction for 1 whole year. She added that the girl I'm gonna get married will feel so hurt and betrayed by her husband. She will be also suspicious of me all the time. On the other side I don't wanna conceal my addiction lasting for years. I don't know what I will do after I get married. Any advice is appreciated.
I wouldn’t tell her right away if it’s something you have overcome now. My twin brother had this problem and his wife was deeply hurt and has anxiety issues now. Maybe when you guys have kids you could tell her the importance of keeping them away from this stuff and then tell her about ur history.
Of course it’s your choice but I’d go with your mother’s advice. She’s giving you the female perspective, she’s observed and experienced and lot more than we have, and as your mother she’s going to be 100% on your side with any advice she gives you. Also she’s made it clear what your future wife will think about this addiction so hopefully that will be extra incentive to quit. My two cents.
I like your point, yet actually I don't wanna let the secrecy capture our relationships. Therefore I'm in a dilemma. What do you think?
im not saying u should hide it, but why bring it up? if she asks u if u watch porn, just tell her no i dont watch porn but i have watched it in the past, thats it. u dont have to say u were addicted or anything, by saying this, u havent lied. but if u dont wanna admit at all its ur freedom. i just dont know why ur wife should be worried about having beat an addiction. My dad had beat his smoking addiction, my mom didnt leave him for saying he used to smoke in the past. He hasnt smoke at all again. We all have a story and scars, if ur wife doesnt trust u for having beat a porn addiction (beat means u are done so why trust issues) then why would u wanna be with her? not to mention almost everyone has watched porn and a lot of people do it weekly and daily, check the statistics. Its not like ur an ex.convict in order for her to have trust issues
It makes all sense to me. If I feel that I need her help for struggling after a year of freedom, I will let her know. But if I don't need her help, there is no point in telling her about my past addiction