My biggest motivators was hatred for porn, when I absolutely despised and hated it it fueled me to go on big streaks. Recently I'm finding it hard to find that motivation or any really to quit. I relapsed 2 days ago, I'm just depressed and can't care to quit.
The problem with hatred is that it creates a white knuckle method of dealing with it. It works for a while but can’t last. I try and focus more on how much better my life is without porn. Ultimately it’s not a real sexual connection and a waste of my time. What could I have accomplished if I wasn’t distracted by porn? A lot more than I have achieved.
See I recovered from porn after 1 year of relapsing. I was addicted from 7 years and bruh, level and kind of porn I used to watch was horrific and disgusting. So I started self improvement in Nov 2021 and I learned a lot "through experiences" And I am still on self improvement and it requires patience bro. U have a habit of watching and bursting nuts, and habit is hard to break. So here's what happened with me- I used to watch stuff of self improvement and I constantly reminded me that Mindset no matter after I relapsed. I read books, I cut off all the sources of porn, I even wrapped and thrown all the phones away, I permanently shut down my pc,etc etc... But still I loved porn and I still relapsed over and over after 1,2,5 days and some how at starting I had managed to get upto day 25 but then my urges were so dominant on my mindset that I started relapsing again over months. I even used to cry after masturbation that why am I fucking doing this to me,So it is natural process. Then I started to Get Consciousness, and my mindset was getting stronger... As a student, I also told my teacher about my porn addiction as I feel comfortable with him. And that made motivated, so get an accountability partner . Basically, you don't have to hit hard, you have to get hard hits and keep moving forward. So you see, It took me 1 year all by my self... Maybe you could take less time than me.. Just Be persistent to that mind set , read books, improve yourself,.... In short be honest, avoid this world for a while, realise the Reality... Plz Take charge of yourself. The Fact is we know what are good things and bad things, the problem is we don't realise that at same time. So now I am on day 46 without any URGES smooth, that's because my mindset bad beaten my lust. So I feel so happy writing this for U coz I always wanted it.. It was my goal when I WAS YOU! Hope it helps you. Plz ask if you have any other queries
Hate is a form of caring, you won't hate anything if you just have a 'whatever' attitude right, as you already said you don't care right now. This is why 'self care' is important. I don't look at it like do something nice for yourself once in a while, it's about whether you treat yourself like you matter. This is also why it's important to really develop a community, not just posting on a forum or having an AP group. But since there will be times when we're down, whether or not you have relapsed, we need other people to care when we're not able to, or at least remind us of who we are when we do care.
I know it's white knuckling but it gives me the initial motivation to start a streak. Without it it's extremely difficult to stay off of it for more than few days. With hate I can use it to propel myself into 3-4 weeks and by then I have enough clarity. I'm just finding it impossible to quit it right now without any hate. I agree with the rest of what you said, I think will try to convince myself how unhealthy porn is making me and use that.
You're right. But yeah I am sure that I'm never gonna relapse coz I do a lot of others things and in free time I meditate.
If the white knuckling helps and as you’re doing it you build your resilience through other methods for when the white knuckling ends that might be the way to do it! I might need to give that a try since I’ve been stuck for a while at this.
