Hi there,, I am sort of new to NoFap, like this time I feel very much committed to this than ever before. Something that is bothering me is that there’s a group I am apart of in Discord that is all about this journey. There is one guy in particular on it who is always trying to say how great he is on his journey. Told me that I will get onto his level eventually, blah blah. Like he just is always making everything about himself. It’s really frustrating and it makes me think that he isn’t doing as good as what he’s projecting out there. Anyone deal with people like this or have been there before? thank you, happy new years.
I am not sure is he’s a narcissist by any means but he has a lot of pride for sure. Thank you for the reply and it’s good to know that there’s people on this journey whom are full of themselves. The sad thing is about this guy is I don’t even think he sees this in himself, but he’s always saying how much he meditates everyday too hahaha. Funny he hasn’t noticed yet.
I can't stand people that lack some semblance of self awareness. Its why I choose to socialize/hang out only with people with some humility and that do not possess an overbearing personality.
Mm yes I know what you mean. That’s really good, I hope to make quality friends this coming year ahead. I am glad you found friends that are of good quality.
Welcome to the community. You don't need to listen to the others and do whatever is good for you. The main thing is the abstinence from pmo. This should be the main thing here. Wish you have a good journey recovering from addiction.
Thank you so much, you are so very right. I really shouldn’t let people get on my nerves ever. Abstaining is no joke, it’s been very emotional - I made this post to vent a tad. Now I don’t see the point, cannot let people with big egos/streaks; make me feel small. Thank you, I’m happy to be here.
I know what you mean. Don't worry, people write all types of posts and comments here. So feel free. You need to do what's best for you to recover.
For myself, I have noticed I butt heads with people who usually have the same problem as myself. Pride can manifest itself in two ways; one being an inflated estimation of oneself, while the other is having a low estimation of oneself. In each case, the solution is to think of yourself less. One way of doing this is by understanding that our worth as individuals is inherent and therefore does not depend on outside things like money, social status, or NoFap streaks. We're not in recovery to be worth it. We are in recovery because we are worth it.
In my experience, the more a person brags about themselves, the more insecure they are. That said, I’ve been proud of myself in a few areas of my life, and said some arrogant things. Then I’ve swung the other way. Keep your head down and take it one day at a time. Be grateful for the small victories, and don’t let envy sap your joy. Pride goes before the fall.
This is something I come across in all areas of my life and it's certainly annoying and frustrating. However, I continue to work at how I choose to react, and when I DON'T react, I typically feel much better...so that's pretty much how I deal with it these days. Also, as I get older and older I have less and less brain energy to exhert on said people. Humility is an exceptionally good quality I personally strive for as well as seek out. Those who have anything but are typically people I take with a grain of salt.
Thank you all so much for these very helpful comments, I appreciate them all loads. Happy New Years everyone!
A proverb teaches us something: It's better (wiser) to let other praise you. Clap your hand on your mouth if you see you want to praise yourself. I did it once 2 other guys when had drunk some alcohol. Started to praise myself. I acted like a complete fool. Still feel the shame.
Absolutely, these are very wise words. Thanks a ton! Sometimes even when I talk about things that I do with others who ask me about certain things. I too will feel like I’m praising myself for doing something different than everyone else. It can make me feel like I am trying to sound better but I really don’t feel that way in my heart. This came to mind last night, my family was talking about wanting to go on a diet (a lot of family should go on diet) and I mentioned about sugar is a huge thing I do my best in avoiding. I just felt in a way as bragging and I felt kinda weird about it but then I also just kept in mind my heart was in a good place for giving some suggestions to try and help. I hope this shame you feel is just a memory and not something that impacts you in day to day life or anything. Anyways the latest thing he bragged about was how a girl was all over him at this New Years party and how he turned her down because he has “better things to do” hahaha. I found this pretty telling and funny. Especially he even said before party that he was not interested in her. I think the better thing to do was to just not give her an impression that she had a chance with him..
Narcisistic egoic with his streak trying to teach other people lessons and show others how great they are while you are just infimous compared to him. Just continue your journey and don't take care of him or whoever.