Porn and it's existence

Sex is driving the world. Especially the men. Life not being always easy, lots of single young men (or divorced men) that feel lonely AND horny.
Lots of men that are hit by Chaser effect, so when they have sex, they want more sex in the next few days. If they are getting sex once or twice a week, then the chaser effect might hit twice during the week, leading to looking at other options (internet porn).

Porn is also a driver for new technology. It also adapts to every advancements in the audio-video field. It boosted the sales of VCRs, was on DVD very soon into the process. Virtual reality porn is being worked on.

Porn downloading requires bandwidth. Customers need fast and high download caps to indulge. Internet providers are making big money off that.

Humans are working on sex robots, real doll stuff. People pay big money for real dolls.

In the meantime, prostitution is one of the "oldest trades"...basically sexual exploitation for the benefit of the males.

Sex is one of the most powerful incentive for the men to live (dopamine, adrenaline, hunting, fantasies,etc).

 

Human beings Want Happiness.They get easily fooled that Things which provide temporary low grade stimulation(Porn,binge eating,alcohol,drugs) are destructive to their Happiness in the long term.
Also,The Human Generation has forgot the Purpose of life.They don't know why are they doing all this work(of any kind),what will happen eventually.Almost Nobody inquires themselves,that Where have they come from,where they have to go,why this earth,why this people,why they themselves.All they care about is Money,fame and getting girls to have sex with.They're lost in a bog.
We are also responsible for Porn addictions among people as we have created such an egoistic and jealous society that People feel trapped while living in such a society.Porn is the only way to get some relief from the continuous chitter-chattering society.It's a way to Escape.
But overall,PMOing is wrong to me in a sense that it is destructive to our ultimate aim in life.It destroys the inner peace and is hindrance to the real happiness. Have you ever seen an addict happy? ,in fact they're the most depressed people in the world.

 

A very simple fact is that practically all human beings are sex addicts in one way or another (even many asexuals just have specific preferences). That has also always been the case. They (or rather some but in every culture) also always knew that this is dangerous and tried to somehow contain and channel it. This always works a little for a while and then shifts and modifications are made.
I feel a little odd saying it because I think it's great that women can live their potential but this porn thing is really a fallout from the women's lib movement. Women went to work to emasculate men and frame their interest as rape-culture and always tried to raise the cost for not-that-great sex.
Good guys listened but guys are good with technology, they have resources and they cooperate and share. So you got porn and the everybody but especially also the bold girls are the losers of it because their offering is losing so much market value.
To roll this back would have to start with education, which would probably happen after many guys become completely withdrawn from the mating market. Girls would have to become more honest and direct, I guess, more like friends, and not always try to capitalize on male sexuality.

 

We are losing the fight right now, because the damages done by porn just start to come up. We here are the tips of the iceberg. Porn doesnt make you lose you license (DUI), porn doesnt give you STDs. Porn doesnt get you high to the point where you lose your senses (powerful psychotropic drugs). Damages done by porn are just getting known...

People stop when there either the threat of a divorce, or when erectile disfunction raises it's ugly head....if no such symptoms are experienced, almost nobody stops.

I always consumed free internet porn here. No cams, no subscriptions. But all that free porn get some people to subscribe to these "independent" actresses to access the whole library. Maybe they are part of networks , who knows. But as the high speed internet is now available to most, there is a new niche! Accessible live sex in the privacy of one's home! No STDs, etc. That caters to some.

The internet and modern smart phones are so widely available now that everybody has a platform to become a potential customer. The industry adjusted.

 

That's absolutely ridiculous. Do you think "emasculating, radical women's libbers" were in the majority ever. They were a marginalized group always. Porn has been here since cave paintings. I was a young man right smack dab in the middle of the women's liberation movement and I was getting trim right left and center. It was the early 70s and women were doing cocaine and screwing everything in pants. Do your research please. Don't blame women for creating a problem and men created for themselves.

 

cool it, man. you're entitled to your opinion and i'm to mine. that's not a minority position either. the late 60s & early 70s with 'the female eunuch' etc where quite different from the late 70s & 80s with the porn wars and all that came by way of policy, when esther villar was called 'fascist', physically attacked etc.
there are lots of men who have pretty much checked out of making things work with the complexity of modern relationship demands (mgtow etc). the problems with the contradictory role expectations for boys are well-known throughout the western educational world.
i'm not talking about radical 2nd generation feminism but broad cultural trends. it's a well-known phenomenon that sexual avenues that close in one place tend to open another. for example, when the pill made casual sex more widely safe, prostitution decreased massively. the increase of homosexual practices in prisons are another.
of course, there are always some people - men or women - who can get enough sex easily but for a lot of guys stuck on gaming & porn it's not easy enough to have a fulfilling longterm sexual relationship with a real woman and a lot of these guys are quite organised. i think the case is pretty good, that this is part of the porn boom. of course of the 'romance novel' world, too...

 

"Women went to work to emasculate men and frame their interest as rape-culture and always tried to raise the cost for not-that-great sex".
I'm 66 years old, I know all about the 60s, 70s and 80s. I don't know one single solitary woman who did that or knew anybody that did that. The above statement is patently false and it attempts to place a blame on women for something that men have done to themselves. It does no good whatsoever to look anywhere other than the mirror. You started porn, you became engaged, obsessed and addicted. Nobody from Women's Liberation came into your house and opened your computer and put a gun to your head and said "masturbate". That's like domestic violence perpetrators saying "if she hadn't have pissed me off I wouldn't have hit her". Recovery begins and ends with self-responsibility. That's all. It's the first principle.

 

in this thread we're talking about why porn exists the way it does as a cultural phenomenon. that ppl choose to use porn is, of course, their own responsibility. but why is it so interesting when it was not to the same degree to other generations?
my answer is that if they had satisfying sexual relationships, it wouldn't be that interesting or even possible to regularly use porn. so why don't they have these relationships?
certainly among the people that i know of your generation, most are divorced or otherwise and living alone, and some others are opting for somewhat desperate forms of relationship that they would never consider if they had been able to make it work with their high school sweetheart. single academic women in their 30s & 40s are now 3:1 stacked against them to find an academic partner (they don't want non-academics). very many don't even consider having a longterm live-in relationship anymore because they just haven't seen it work in their own lives or their social circle.
i don't think that it's controversial that this is a contributing factor to porn use. i also don't think it's controversial that the widespread failure of relatioships is a fallout of changing demands, expectations and legal situations emerging from second generation feminism.
in case i didn't make myself understood, i'm attempting it here. but i admit to the lingering suspicion that the real problem is one that your generation is famous for, namely, an inability to look at truths that are not compatible with their heady worldview.

 

Truthfully, porn has always been damaging. The baby boomer generation was mentally damaged by porn, but sexual dysfunction wasn't as severe because their mind and bodies weren't wrecked during puberty by an endless supply of porn. That's not to say it didn't cause sexual dysfunction in baby boomers, though... it fueled a whole market of ED pills.

Beyond that, porn caused parents to be hyper sexual in their early years of marriage and develop forms of sexual exhaustion, leading them to be unhappy and (excuse me) shitty parents.

To the guy saying this is something men brought on themselves. You realize most of these porn addicts became addicts when they were children, right? We were raised (by the media) believing women didn't like sex and men who liked sex were evil. Yep. All the fault of those pre pubescent "men."

 

Weaken the will with incessant consumption, and it's only logical that pornography, the ultimate consumption, will flourish.

 

Oh, and Escape! As the ego-driven consumer neglects the avenues of escape to the 'upside', the escape to the 'downside' becomes the only option. Escape, one way or the other, he must have.

 

i think it's helpful to look at porn (as well as prostitution) as a natural byproduct of female advertising. to stereotype: the young woman wants to attract a high status male, dominantly and if she can with her physical attractiveness. she wants him to make financial & emotional commitments that are unreasonable. so she wears suggestive clothing, ie promising more, but leaving him hungry. what is permissible is tightly regulated by society, especially by female competition (slut shaming). all this suggesting and playing-hard-to-get is to up the unreasonable asking price (ask any honest woman if in doubt).
some girls undermine this by showing the guys what the other girls are only promising for quick (rather than slow) cash.
women hate their guys watching porn because it diminishes their offering (the same reason why white men hate black men dating in their dating pool ).
basically, my proposition would be that if women adjust the terms of their offering (or expectations) many guys who now opt into low key participation or out would leave the filth of porn, prostitution and one-night-stands to be pretty ok partners again.
to me this would be a normal historical calibration process that we have seen similarly in post antiauthoritarian education or post marxist leftwing economic politics.
the problem is that many young women really can get a lot in their way and this is played up by the media because it looks amazing. one would have to sensitize these girls to the high prize that they are paying later on for this play and have an attractive incentive structure again (for men & women) to make long term sexual commitments. this is not absurd and in fact what most societies have managed to do.

 

You are definitely coming up with controversial material here.

You are referring to, in my own view, to GOLD-DIGGERS in the first paragraph or lack of paragraph (all before the smiley) ...not all women are like that.

I have fun watching "gold digger" pranks tho!

Most seriously, I agree on principle on the fact that the lady in the couple wants to be the "only game in town" with her man. This is what you call "their offering". If porn is in the way, that will indeed make her feel sad and will develop low self-esteem. This is how it goes in the monogamous world. In the polygamous world(if there is such thing nowadays), there is competition between women I assume. There is also probably some hierarchy I do assume. That system mostly benefit men. Women are probably working hard to please to INCREASE THEIR OFFERING..its a form of sex-slavery in my mind...

Women have more to offer than that! Being a good mother for our child, being a friend, being a good "road partner", sharing good and bad moments, etc.
In the best of case, you stay together all your life, get through all the life storms and life events, get old and stick together to live a calm retirement with your loved one...

Also, I think that men and women, mostly driven by age old "survival of the specie" reflexes ,will go for the smartest, healthiest, strongest, nicest looking and wealthiest mate IF THEY CAN.

Look at "in-vitro fecondation/ sperm bank donor-narrative" type scenarios, where every woman would want a perfect kid (healthy is what we all want), but also a donor with the best gene, the most IQ, the nicest looking, and with the best job. Whether we like it or not, no women would settle for "hobo" sperm for in-vitro..its jsut making sense.

I used to be frustrated at women went I was younger, because I had issues dating girls. Back then, SOME girls were settling for guys having reached majority, having a job and a car...I used to feel that they were going for what it was high status male (at least by high-school standards).

I also used to be frustrated at wives for being sex-starved after a few years of relationship. No men in their right mind, if they could foresee, looking in a crystal ball, would settle for a women that will later down the road sex-starve them. We just don't know in advance. And we can be part of the cause making the sex-starvation something we are part responsible of...

 

It has nothing to do with women. Someone along the line came up with the idea that they could make some money. Same as any invention. It is fuled by money. If everyone in the world decided to stop watching. They would stop making. Simple as that.

As for the guys saying it's women's lib, or gold diggers blah blah blah. You're looking for someone else to blame. I happen to be friends with a lot of the wives and g/f on here, partners of addicts. Who bemoan the fact that their man isn't interested in sex. That's your sex starvation theory out of the window.

Women use sex to attract the most wealthy, manly mate. Really? Firstly, how many women are dating successful men? How many stunningly beautiful women end up with unattractive or average men? Loads. Women don't give a shit about money or status these days. Thanks to women's lib, we make our own money thanks. As for sex being all we have to offer, sorry, but screw that caveman. I agree with the above post. Most successful relationships are based on friendship and enjoyment of each other intellectually and emotionally.

The reason why porn is so appealing in my opinion is because it is EASY. You don't have to do anything but please yourself. Why do you think technology was invented? Fast food? Air travel? Cars? Because people are inherently lazy. If they can invent a way to get from a to b faster. They will. Porn is a way for people to get from a to orgasm with the least amount of effort, physically and emotionally. Plus the fact it gets its hooks into you at a young,impressionable age.

Let me just irriterate again. It is not women's fault. Not is it men's. Although if I had to pick....

 

well, it's certainly interesting how diverse and rather strong the views about this are. the strength of the positions is probably in good part due to biography and to another to general worldview. what that likely means is that it will be impossible to find a consensus on policy to make porn less attractive or available and we have to stick to working on our own or in our small circle of influence. i don't think that's a bad thing and a very good thing to know...

 

i didn't mean to imply that women in general are golddiggers. there are more than one would think ('who like to get supported') but in poor countries this is more common. some women, however, also want to be the earners to have more power in the relationship.
it's more general in that those who can get something for their youthful attractiveness will typically try to. have a look at 'love equity theory' for interesting data and implications on this.
as far as married women's well-known declining interest in sex, have a look at the provocative findings in daniel bergener's 'what do women want', a book that i was pointed to by a feminist website. it's basically about a wealth of studies pointing to women not being comfortable with monogamy (something that is normally said about men). my experience when asking mature women about these findings was that they admitted that they were correct.
of course, i also agree with diremerl that there are women for whom this is not true and that there are many men who are not interested in sex with their partners, mostly for obvious reasons.

 

interesting!