So I masturbated few days ago just cus I couldn't hold any longer. all small and big thoughts got together in my head, and I masturbated first without any porn, and then I watched some sofcore videos for two days, and every time I masturbated I felt happy and laughed. I felt the same good feeling when I had sex with my gf two months or so ago. Didn't feel any shame, embarrasment or anything. I am not sure why. Also I didn't feel like I was giving in, I just thought ''it would be a bit sad to loose the streak'' but then when I masturbated I didn't care. At the end of the day I think I was still a prisoner of porn and masturbation when I was trying to avoid it at all costs. Don;t get me wrong I'm not saying im going to go back again to it. What I'm saying is that I just accepted what I did and am happy about it. I accept myself. Those days when I masturbated (it was monday evening - wednesday eraly morning (just when i woke up) I felt energetic and confident. And today I felt really good and confident also, and been feeling like normal emotionally healthy person. I can't really explain this. I feel like I am not gonna masturbate but also when I masturbate I think i will not do anything thats embarrasing or humiliating. I'm glad I reached 4 months, and I stopped counting days at around day 100. Stopped comming here frequently. Still exercising, taking cold showers, and eating proper stuff. Being as usual not pro social, but not avoiding social situations either (like i used to). I guess accepting yourself is the most important thing about overcoming this shit. Also I would like to tell you one thing. I once heard a saying about alcoholism which goes somethig like this ''When you're addicted to alcohol and are always drunk - you're a prisoner of alcohol. When you're recovering and trying to avoid alcohol at all cost - you;re a prisoner of alcohol also''. I guess this is the same with porn. When everything is a ''trigger'' for you and you're afraid to even see a bit of it, I guess you haven't come close to defeating the addiction. Anyway 4months was kind of cool to go without masturbation. And also my sensitivity is crazy, which wouldn't be great with a girl, but still I would like to go 4 months again. I realised that I don't need porn or masturbation as much as I used to believe.
Yep, sounds right. I would not consider what you describe a relapse. I think there's too much anxiety spilled here over relapses that may not in fact be relapses. If you aren't doing what you were doing before you got here then you should be ok.
you seem to get the idea of whats happening too. I was wondering why would I feel happy, but it makes sense.
I'm sorry, u should be mad at urself not happy.. U fell in the reward trap meaning u justified that it was ok to do m since u had a long streak and wanted to reward urself for that streak.. Ur like someone in a competitive sport who has the lead and they give up the lead cuz they got content (don't be content, expand on ur lead or in this case ur counter..) Don't let this happen again..
i wish you were right but its false man. People who relapse almost 100% feel miserable and like they did something realy bad or wrong. I didn't and its more than just streak, relapses and chalanges. You gotta look at the big picture and don;t think that certain amount of abstinence days gona cure you. edit: also being mad at yourself is something that makes you weak, miserable and depressed. Why would you be mad. Lets say i treat myself for doing good. whats wrong with that? Should i indefinitelly try and never feel the benefits? whats the point in the suffering then? I've seen people here telling stories how they've been doing nofap for a year or more and feel like shit the whole time? tell me what was the point in doing that and who wins in life? Someone whos happy about himself after he masturbated after 4 months or a person whos miserable and abstained from masturbation for 18months? Whats the point of nofap and this whole journey than to feel alive and enjoy yourself and people around you?
Larry, my man, I feel you. If you truly think you have everything under control like you say you do, then I am happy for you. And I truly wish that you are. And 4 month is an awesome number, buddy, you have my respect. But with all that said, I only want to warn you. You are going a very slippery slope here. If you allow yourself this much, nothing holds you back from going further. And I'm not talking theory here, I've done the exact same thing you did. Read this post in my journal. And then read the following. See what happens when you think you have this thing under control. A good chance is that you don't. Besides, I don't really see the point in fapping, especially to any artificial stimulation, even if it is only softcore videos. Man, you got 4 months behind your back, you do cold showers, you are awesome! What's the point in fapping like all those losers when you have the power not to?
I understand what you are saying and I think that its idiotic to reset your counter if u relapse at like 2 months or whatever because it suggests that the 1 relapse did harm and that it should cause u to disregard the 2 months. However, since u felt the need to search for a cure to this addiction by finding this site 4 months ago (meaning u were struggling), y play with fire even if that one relapse seems harmless, which I agree with you, that it is.. Also by what you are saying, it seems like u did 4 months and the only reward u got from it is the relapse. In that case y not continue fapping, y wait 4 months to reward yourself.. Im glad u don't feel sad about the relapse, but the reason I'm being so argumentative is cuz a lot of relapses occur because of a feeling of rewarding urself for abstaining a certain period of time.
Man you know I was feeling like I'm doing something amazing. But lets be real. I'm not gonna become a superman just because i will abstain 100% for the rest of my life. Do you drink alcohol? even if you don't most people drink ocasionally and have no long term damage. So you think masturbating every few months gonna make me a lesser person that I am now? I doubt it. It sound great and all. The ''superpowers''. Just abstaining from masturbation ain gonna make you that. Will it help? Yes it helped me. But it didn't transform me. I transformed myself and not abstinense. So many people are extremely confident socially doing good and motivated and fapping and watching porn, and not ocasionally but regularly. I guess this is part of the puzzle to hapiness. You know I was obsessed also like almost every single person here. Not fapping and not seeing a pixelated tit on screen. You're just becoming a prisoner this way. Also i get what you;re saying that its slipery slope. And also I know myself as good as anyone and I know when I put my mind on it I am gonna do it. And I will not going back to it. But the thing is I was thinking that porn has complete control over me, that I could never run away from it unless I cut absolutely all erotical stuff from my life. But you know what its impossible. And why be stressed about it. Everytime you see something turn away, and feel anxious not to start thinking too much about it and not get honry etc. I'm not telling that you guys are jealous that I can do it because I did enjoy myself. That would not only be extremely arogant, but also really stupid to think. But its so much more than just abstinence. You gotta completely change your mentality and I think I am doing this right now and this ''relapse'' (how I hate all these words relapse, streak, counter, reboot) is a part that I needed to experience in order to understand what impact it has. And I know it has no impact in itself. It can have an impact if I will get back to masturbating daily. Watching porn just becasue I have nothing better to do. Then teh addiction mechanism kick in, needing more and intense stuff. Building resistance to the stuff you watch, and the time you masturbate. This would be a huge problem. But what I did was not a problem. I thought people will see things from my perspective and learn something. But I guess not everyone is ready for that yet. Everyone is taking this on their own pace. It's everyones personal and different battle. And again I appreciate your response and worrying. And I sincerely doubt that I'm just sugarcoating the problem. You know the brain tricking oyu into thinking that its ok to do it and finding the reason to do it. Anyway I will find out for myself in a while. I'm not going to watch porn or masturbate for extended period. I urge you not to blindly think that abstinence on its own gonna cure you just like that. There are plenty of stories of people who have no benefits at all from it after months.
I just read your post. It's exactly what I felt, absolute identical thing. You know what else I thougth about the whole incident? I'm a guy and I wanted to see a naked girl. Thats about all I was thinking about it and I couldn't find whats wrong with it. But I'll give myself a month or so and see where I end up
You are right becasue I did have a good reason to come here, and I still have reason to stay here too. You might be right about the feeling of being rewarded. I will only know this if i start feeling like shit or extremely horny or relaspe in few days. Sure I seem defensive right now, but why wouldn't I for I see people being not happy about me being happy . Its very difficult for me to see if this is beneficial, or detrimental or not so much effect on me right now. But rest assured I will let you know in few weeks. If I start relapsing or at least extremely horny all the time and strugling with my urges then I will be sure that It has negative effect on me. So far it's unclear. Stay tuned
I would not be so concerned if you masturbate without porn, however just be cautious with softcore videos as they can be porn subsituties. Here is an interesting article regarding masturbation: http://yourbrainonporn.com/masturbation-fantasy-and-captivity
absolutely softcore porn is porn. It's not substitute its just porn. And I did it last week, and don't plan to do it for quite some time again btw thanks for the article. interesting read. What bothers me thought that there are plenty of healty people who say they masturbate and watch porn. I wonder if people like us have something in our minds that is a factor to damage our emotional state
For me I have no major issues with masturbation as long as no porn is involved and with it for the right reasons as well. I won't say it is wrongI choose to not masturbate for now. It means I would not mastubate fantasising any crush I encounter either or even through non ponographic pictures. I even notice people here having issues with masturbating on chat sites and it is something I have not done in a long time and wont start now. I even avoid dating sites that even have pornographic images. So for you to continue your journey to be free from porn addictions it is best to stay clear of porn. Best of luck on your journey.
Yeah, the only thing we can do is throw around different opinions. And everyone is allowed to have his own. I did like 1 month of no PMO and told myself that MO is okay for me and I thought that I am a strong person so 3 months wouldn't be necessary to change my mentality towards PMO. It all went to waste. The only thing that really matters is the fact that my sexuality was based on P for more than 10 years. The question is, can I go without P for at least a few months? All my desires are based on the media. Don't we want to see what we truly desire by being abstinent?
try to be abstinent for 4 months friend. the only thing I desire is woman, and to touch her body. I know that for a fact.
Way to go, I'm surprised at some of the backlash that you received. Four months is a great accomplishment and you have learned much about yourself in that time. You will also know if you are straying in dangerous areas or not, do what feels right and be honest with yourself and you will have nothing to worry about. Peace.
