This is my first time posting something on this forum, and much of the information is very fascinating. I'm 28 and I've been addicted to porn since I was 12. Porn has fucked up my brain for the last 18 years, and as time goes by I'm getting more and more worried. I've never had a girlfriend before, and I'm starting to wonder how my porn addiction will affect my sex life if I ever do get one. I feel for sure that I have PIED and premature ejaculation; it only takes me about a minute to orgasm when I watch porn. I don't know what to do. What if I have a girlfriend one day, and she sees that I can't even get an erection? I've heard of peoples' girlfriends leaving them because of porn alone. The funny thing is that I'm talking to this one girl at my temple; I don't know where it might go, but I'm kind of concerned in so many different areas. 18 years is a fucking long time, and I don't know what to do at this point. I need some honest opinions. Subconsciously, I know that if I don't quit porn, it will be much harder in the future. It's really starting to hit me now, and if this girl were to get with me, and she knew about my porn addiction, I don't know what will happen from there. Will she understand or will she leave me because of my sexual performance? I need some answers; I'm 28 years old and I'm not getting any younger. I have a car, a job, and a degree. I'm moving forward in life, but one of the major setbacks to a satisfying sex life is obviously my PIED and premature ejaculation. I know this is a lot, but any advice would be great.
I mean porn definitely desensitised the sex experience for me to the point I had both ED and PE. It feels to me like a bit of a double- edged sword, I now want to meet girls, but am always reminded of these bad experiences I've had before so struggle to pluck up the courage. I hope at some point I'm just going to go for it and put it all behind me. 18 years is a long time but I can't see how you'd really regret sticking with it and giving it up. 88 days is also an impressive total, are you not already feeling an improvement?
Thanks for letting me know about my PMO tracker. I just changed it back to 7 days; I never did 89 days in the first place, so don't even pay attention to that. After reading some of the stuff on this forum, I'm starting to see a pattern, and it's not a good one. If you're saying that you have ED and PE, then I might have the same thing. It's starting to hit me now, and I don't know what I should do. As for the improvements of no PMO, I felt a huge difference when I did my 30 days several times. It's been over a year since I've done something like that, and to be honest, I'm just fucking lazy. Not to mention I'm stressed out about a whole bunch of crap in my life. I know the answer is obvious: quit your porn addiction and your sex life will improve. I don't know, maybe if I had the experiences you've had, I'd probably wake the hell up, but as now, I'm just not motivated enough.
Yes you should quit before getting involved with someone, you want to start the relationship from a healthy place of honesty. Also porn makes men into terrible lovers and not only because of ED. Everything porn has taught you about sex is very male centric and has little to do with most women's sexuality. You will never please a woman with what you learn in porn. Also,sort of besides the point but, you keep referring to the woman you are interested as a "girl". You are 28... I assume this person is a woman, not a girl. As a grown man, I am sure you wouldn't want to be referred to as a "boy"... Just saying.
Yeah totally, meant to write ED and PE. I even once had both on the SAME night. She reacted perfectly but I felt terrible and reacted badly to it, serious ego-beating I guess. You don't want to get to the "experiences" I've had brother. Trust me. It's worth putting the work in before and then like fuzzy says you'll start a relationship in a better place (not saying that with experience-- it just makes sense)
That makes a lot of sense actually. What the hell was I thinking? Anyway, thanks for your advice man, I appreciate it.
I was actually looking up on a sex related article not too long ago. Because most guys watch porn so much, their mind is deluded to thinking that real sex is the same thing, when clearly, it is not. The article that I was reading involved men's health and being to a pleasure a women. Not once did I noticed anything in the article mentioning the things that are portrayed in the porn industry. It's much more natural. Besides that, I kinda knew this beforehand, but thanks for mentioning it again. As for the girl thing, I've been so used to saying that word that I'm unaware of its proper use. I'm just talking from a point of view that's more figurative that's all haha. It's just that I've been comfortable saying it. On the other hand, the word "woman" to me reminds me of the type of females that are mature, wise, and more developed beyond their years. And it's not common for me to see these types of people in their 20s. By the way, the lady's 26.
The word "woman" does not mean "wise beyond her years." Woman is a human being just like a male. Are you a boy because you still struggle with porn addiction? Maybe? Saying girl is saying 12 year old girl. Women become women at age 18.
I kind of disagree. The parallel pre- 18 is boy and girl, and then after eighteen it becomes guy and girl. It really depends in what context you're talking of course and indeed if you know her or not. I don't think calling someone in their twenties for instance a 'girl' is going to cause that much of a stir, as long as you respect her properly I can't see the problem.
Yeah just like Fork2323 said, it's just a figure of speech. I obviously know what a woman is (in technical terms if you wanna put it). Anyway, I really don't know what you're trying to get at. And was there a time when you talked to a few women yourself? Nofap is a website for porn addicts and you're one of them. We support, encourage, and give advice to others that could change their lifestyle around porn, build their confidence, talk to females, and more. And I wouldn't call you a boy either because I really don't wanna start messing with people. So welcome to Nofap; I hope you can progress, better yourself, and learn to treat others with respect. And trust me, I've been here long enough and people have said worse things to me, so I'm used to t. Don't take it personally, it's all good.
You're right - it's time to give up that stuff. If it messes up your love life, it's not worth it. Best wishes to you there.
A urologist is just going to spew out the stuff they already know. We're not old, we don't have hardened arteries, we don't have any of that crap. Don't waste your time trying to tell a doctor that you have PIED, they'll just look at you like you're crazy. As smart as they are, doctors are completely clueless about porn addiction and PIED.
Porn can desensitize you. Thats always been my problem. It takes greater and deeper crap to get the same "high" from it you had before. Regular sex does become more dull. However, if you like her enough and listen to what she likes in the bedroom, you should be able to satisfy her. That's been my experience.
It absolutely can...it can make your EQ inferior and cause PE. Not even mentioning pelvic floor dysfunction caused by fapping seated for years and tensing muscles to maintain an erection.
As a SO that is not enough. Women want to be with men that enjoy sex as much as they do. Many men think if they focus on her needs and satisfy her that's all we want but it's not. We are not satisfied if you are not satisfied. So if we can't make you O or if you can't maintain an erection then the sex is not enjoyable and we feel insecure.