Yesterday I reached 27 month PMO free. This last week was particularly challenging, I was never so close to relapse before. But I could overcome the temptation, could resist the urges and could get rid of the pessimistic point of view of the addict (Why to keep making the effort? It is not worth it. Live is shit anyways".). All these excuses that we want to find when we are too horny and want to watch P, MO and release our frustrations in a destructive way. I could see myself "after the fact", how much I would have regretted this. How low my self-esteem would have been, how much sadness and guilt I would have felt. Meditation has became my best ally: I cannot recommend more to every rebooter to do it. Headspace has helped me to avoid relapsing big time the last weekend, I am very thankful to have learnt about this App. It gives me back the clarity of mind and get rid of the foggy state of mind that the urges bring me. Things got better with my wife and we had a peaceful and loving weekend (even we had sex yesterday, which always helps to "decompress" things). I look back to the previous weekend as one more challenge to my reboot, one more proof of endurance to my will power, and one more battle won. I know it will not be the last one. I was a severely PMO addict (4-5 times per day during 40 years, hundred of random and promiscuous hook-ups in dangerous places with guys, plus thousand of dollars spent in male escorts and crappy motels). I cannot become complacent. I need to be all the time alert. Not anxious or obsessed, but alert. The "Gremlin" will attack if I leave him space. Fortunately I have developed the tools to fight him back every time he tried to surrender me. Let's keep on fighting Fercho
Fight it Fercho ! You gave me interest in trying that headspace app too since meditated only few times in my life and not on streaks. Anyway there is end to this battle. We need to fight PMO only until we are like 80 years old and too tired to masturbate.
That is so inspirational. I managed to quit porn for like 43 days but now I'm struggling. Stories like yours give me hope.
@fercho29: nice to read your post man.I can imagine that this addiction is deadly that it can go so deep.It causes and damages a person from his/her core and its not easy to come out of that and live a normal life.But thanks to our self healing body and mind.It's kind of gift we humans have that we can heal ourselves. Its worth fighting certainly.God bless you and your family and give strength to all of us to come clean on this. Thanks for sharing!
Awesome post. It's amazing the diligence you've shown. I know that even after 90 days I'd probably stop checking nofap sites. Also the fact that you're complete no PMO at all for so long is impressive. I bet your focus is incredible.
If you can do 15, you can do 18+. The first days are the hardest. Hang in there, stay strong, and the days add up. Stay strong and you too can enjoy the results.
Thanks. I guess i will be proud when I ll know that deep in my soul, this addiction is completely dead.
According to my experience, the addiction does not die. It stays dormant and weak inside us. It will be "hibernating", but ready to wake up and attack if we become complacent or if we are not alert. After 27 months I still face some urges, specially when I feel sad or stressed out for some problems at work or at home. The worst enemy is becoming complacent and thinking that "we killed the best". I have seen many long-time rebooters (3-4 years) relapsing because they thought that "they were cured", they did not return to this website and they forgot how bad the addiction was. This is why I keep coming back after 27 months. Stay strong Fercho
It is one of the most popular porn blocker software. You should install one of those to be safe when you are tempted to browse porn
Thank you @Happy Man You do not need to be jealous. I was a serious PMO addict (4-5 times per day during 41 years, plus escorts and random hook ups every week ). So if I could made it, anybody ( including you ) can make it Sry strong Fercho
K9 did not help me at all. Overwhelmed by urge to fap, I did an on line search on how to uninstall it (I wanted to install it creating a random password without writing it, so I couldn't log in) and I found a lot of easy and quick instructions on several websites to uninstall it even without knowing the password. K9 is not invincible, and when you are no longer yourself, urged by need of fap, you find the way to uninstall it. Will there be a really inviolable blocking program?