I can’t resist not fapping because every time I think of an O I think of a rediculously pleasurable, delicious O. Every time I fap the addiction beast wins again. I’m literally not functioning because of this addiction. I can’t go anywhere my sleep cycle of out of whack. Life is a living hell. I know you’ve all heard of this before but help please I am desperate. The addiction is the only thing I enjoy (as with all addictions they become the only thing that releases enough dopamine to feel good) and life is a living hell because of this. I can’t stop touching and fapping it’s rediculous. All I can think about all day is fapping even when I’m doing other things. I wish I could just be normal sexually like everyone else. Instead I have these rediculous fetishes that if I give into them they will kill me. Basically it’s a life or death situation.
Many of us have been exactly where you are now man, I remember sitting on my bed crying because I would never beat this addiction, thinking I was too weak to fight it. What you need to do is be around people literally as much as you possibly can. Find things to do, you need to be busy all the time. It sounds like you are just like I was, I was obsessed with porn and sex every second of the day, i felt psychotic at one point, like I'd lost my mind. You can beat this though, I've read accounts of people who watch porn 9-12 hours a day constantly for a decade or more and recovered. Focus
Not only you. One man over two are having that problem. Urologist confirmed me that. 1 on 2. Is a XXI century problem.
Thanks man. I'm doing my best but sometimes it's really hard. Especially having to reset my counter over and over and over again. The part about giving in to the devil struck a cord with me because a few days ago while I was on a streak I had this dream where the devil was offering me I don't know how much money I think a few hundred million in exchange for a flashlight I had in my hand. And it was ripping roofs off of houses to find me. And it was like "you give me what I want or else." In the end it couldn't find me because I had escaped from there. When I am on a streak I feel like I am getting my freedom back and I feel like the man. When I relapse I feel enslaved again. The point is I choose freedom and I remember why I started 3 months ago, it was to start a new life. Pain is temporary true. I choose to be on the right path and setbacks are just a part of getting there.
The resetting the counter often is quite normal. There was a time when you didn't have this problem, but you don't know how to get out of it yet. Not yet. Keep learning and trying new things, as simply trying to resist is only one aspect. Exercise, meditation, work/study, reading, hobbies etc will all help, but you must put in the work. You're here and you want to improve. Good.
