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Real sex is not exciting??

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Halibut, Aug 11, 2019.

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  1. Aug 11, 2019 #1
    Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut
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    So I had a bit of a revelation today...

    Got with a girl last night, been seeing off a dating app and we slept together.

    What hit home is how I felt literally no excitement at all - zip - nothing. It just felt like something I should do.

    This was scary for me.

    BUT, for PMO I get an adrenaline rush, shaky feeling with anticipation.

    I mean that is screwed up and has shown me how bad porn has been for me and shown the need to connect with real people.

    I think I will get rid of the dating apps for now to help with the recovery as I feel they can become just as addictive and can carry the viewpoint that girls are sexual objects

    Opinions?
     
    Halibut, Aug 11, 2019
    Halibut, Aug 11, 2019
    #1
  2. Aug 11, 2019 #2
    Nuallann

    Nuallann Fapstronaut

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    I've found sex with a girl for the first is not always exciting, sometimes it's just awkward. I find the best sex I've had has been with girls I'm comfortable with, but thats just me.

    PIED isn't always just erectile dysfunction, which is how most guys discover what it is I've found. Porn is hyper stimulating, use of it leads to down regulation of arousal with real women. Why it does that nobody is totally sure, however lots of guys would agree it's likely due to men being stimulated in large portion by visual stimulation of women. Makes sense, for all of human history we might see a only a few women naked in our lifetimes, maybe even only one mate. We go from that, to seeing dozens of girls naked in a fapping session, our biology wasn't prepared for this, it's a hack of our biology, not it's true purpose.

    I've never liked dating apps myself, I find that girls who look good on them I'm often not attracted to when I meet them. Attraction is far more than just looks, so you might not have actually been truly attracted to her like a girl you've been crushing on in person. Dating apps, at least for men, play on the same primal need for visual stimulation men have as porn does.
     
    Nuallann, Aug 11, 2019
    Nuallann, Aug 11, 2019
    #2
    Halibut likes this.
  3. Aug 11, 2019 #3
    Halibut

    Halibut Fapstronaut
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    I see what you are saying, I would have thought that I would have been at least a bit excited as, for the brain, it is a novel mate, someone you havent done it with before.

    Its true, our hunter-gatherer forefathers would have had the limited number of women in the tribe to fantasise about.

    I think the dating apps are a subtle way for the brain to get its stimulation, having a negative effect on recovery. I am matching with girls but dont feel bothered to talk to most of them. I know these apps re designed to be addictive so I will be staying clear of them as they do not help the craving and urges!
     
    Halibut, Aug 11, 2019
    Halibut, Aug 11, 2019
    #3

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