Derek5150

Derek5150
Proud of myself for being able to cope w/so much pain, both, mentally and physically. Just want to focus on recovery; become the better me!

Sep 8, 2017
1. Deleted Account, The Pleasure Delusion, CrushPornBeneathYourFeet and 4 others like this.
Derek5150
Just found out that I have three disc hernias, and it's been going on for months and I had no clue.

Sep 8, 2017
1. Deleted Account, The Pleasure Delusion, CrushPornBeneathYourFeet and 3 others like this.
2. Deleted Account
  Don't let your head down. It's good that you know the problem. Hopefully your back will not hurt that much today.
  Peace.
  
  Sep 8, 2017
  
  CrushPornBeneathYourFeet, EverydayIsANewChance, A41:14A and 1 other person like this.
3. leaveitalone
  Can sympathise with you there buddy. I had two, but NHS didn't deal with them properly and now have spinal stenosis - and a 216 week waiting list for operation!
  
  Sep 8, 2017
  
  CrushPornBeneathYourFeet, EverydayIsANewChance, A41:14A and 1 other person like this.
4. Derek5150
  Yeah... It fucking sucks! Especially when your favorite sport revolves around martial arts. I cannot kick, punch, grapple or do anything. Plus, my job revolves around being hunched over all day.
  
  I've shopping around for health plans for the past week and dealing with these Sales people can be a head-case. Thank you @Larry, @leaveitalone for the support and allowing me to vent peacefully!
  
  Sep 8, 2017
  
  CrushPornBeneathYourFeet, EverydayIsANewChance, leaveitalone and 3 others like this.
Derek5150
If I set my goal too high, the feeling becomes unattainable. It's the spiritual journey of sacrifice and dedication.

Sep 7, 2017
1. CrushPornBeneathYourFeet, EverydayIsANewChance, A41:14A and 1 other person like this.
Derek5150
Just trying to get by, making it to Day 3. Already... I feel the mental focus coming back. "One day at a time," is all I need.

Sep 7, 2017
1. 2525, CrushPornBeneathYourFeet, EverydayIsANewChance and 1 other person like this.
Derek5150
Feeling like depressed... loser.

Sep 5, 2017
1. A41:14A, CrushPornBeneathYourFeet, HealthyAbe and 3 others like this.
2. View previous comments...
3. The Pleasure Delusion
  This makes sense when you have goals. If I start with 2 days and I manage that, relapsing after that is unfortunate but it is a step forward. Then I do 2 days and set a goal for a week than a month. If you extend between relapses then you're on your way of getting out. I last relapsed after 2 months of abstinence. Before that, I relapsed after one month. This time I will, God help me so, last till 4 months.
  
  Sep 5, 2017
  
  CrushPornBeneathYourFeet and EverydayIsANewChance like this.
4. The Pleasure Delusion
  I made this journal where I keep the dates on which I relapse. The intervals are increasing. Don't feel down.
  
  Sep 5, 2017
  
  CrushPornBeneathYourFeet likes this.
5. Derek5150
  Thank you! I appreciate your kind words
  
  Sep 5, 2017
  
  2525, CrushPornBeneathYourFeet, EverydayIsANewChance and 2 others like this.

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About

Gender:: Male

Birthday:: Dec 13, 1991 (Age: 32)

I am new, and would to take an advantage of this opportunity to create better change in my life. I would like to repaint this canvas of PIED into something beautiful, such as being the greatest version of myself.

I love to make new friends. I am here to give support to everyone on this journey. This is my current biggest challenge in life, leaving the lifestyle behind and embracing new outlooks on life. So, please feel free to add me or message me.

In spite of my age, I am an old soul that enjoys chatting with all walks of life.

Your Friend,
Derek

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Derek5150

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