i didn born with ocd.but i have more eager to sex when i was kid.teenagers keep dirty magazins under their bed but i can still remember when i was 8 years old i keep hot girls pic under my pillow.in that time everynight i fantazing about girls and how to seduce them just like telling story to my mind it makes me so much pleasure.i enjoy this until i sleep.some how sex is a addiction.so it went so bad when i was 10.then it started ocd i care lot about my hand and my body to keep clean.i wash my hands twise.because i thouhgt germs,dirt.i realize that my bed time addiction is the reason for it.so i try to stop it.but i did it ones a week/ friday night.when i was 13-14 i couldnt stop my feelings somedays i stop going to school and play all day with my fantazing.i was so stupit.then i start feel this is wrong i should stop this.so i stop it but its too late my brain changes becouse of it.social anxiety and feeling guilty started.i couldnt make eye contact even with my dad.in that i have a little voice problem i have to make more attention to talk properly.after i stop that fantazin it went ok.my cleaning obcesstion thoughts gone.in age 17 my friend make me to watch a porn clip.its normal that age kid.(but i already damaged my brain.i realize it last year.)so then i start to watch porn regulary hardcor incest everything i addicted it to 7 years.in age 23 i stop them all.i live like a homebird in all these years.but after 6 or 7 months my dad take me to see a doctor becaus my mind is out of control doctor give me medicine for depression i took that meds for 3 month.i feel okay.i watched porn again.after that it happen my frist nervous breakdown.i couldnt sleep.mind is blocked.i stopped all my studies.i suffer 6 month from it in last year.i went to see another doctor he thought i have ocd.i didn tell him about my stupit porn addiction.then i fully recoverd in this april.all symtoms gone.i was so afraid to see even a naked pic.i promise me to never think about sex.i throw away my pc and mobile.but i watched porn again now i had another nerv breakdown.i did some research i have hypersexual disorder.now i cant even think properly i cant understand reality.my whole life wasted.all exams failed.i cant live like this.will i able to have a normal life again.everyday my mind tell me to kill my self.i already orderd a drug to kill me without pain.i cant even write this properly.any one please give me a help !
Hi Tharaka, please don't go through with it. You don't have to beat yourself up over it. You were just a kid when this all started, and how were you supposed to know any better? It's not your fault. I'm sure you have lots of good qualities about yourself that make up for the things you feel bad about. Keep fighting! And be active on here!
I'm sorry you're feeling so distraught. I'm sure most of us here have had hopeless feelings at times including myself, I recently ended up visiting a couple escorts and I'm feeling extremely ashamed and guilty. Try to pick yourself up, there is life after death so suicide is never going to help. Pray to God and he can help you even with dire situations.
belive me i did everything.my next exam on this week but i cant remember anything.i dont even know what happen yesterday.
its easy to say I know, but I recently thought the best way out of all this would be to find a serious partner/wife.
You did the right thing to come here and post. You describe the problem and now is the time to be thoughtful. In my uncontrolled thoughts and pain, I’m told to immediately, do nothing. Doctors say do no harm. So you failed your tests, That may simply mean that was not your path. Another path will open, stay calm enough and you’ll see it begin to unfold. What small step of improvement can to take today? Take that step. See this great post, too:
Hey man, I know how hard it can be with OCD. I have it and its a real killer. There are ways to combat it. https://www.markfreeman.ca/ Please watch the video and look at Mark freeman's Faq for OCD This helped me understand give me ways to fight back OCD
i have lost my all dreams.i cant even look after my self.how am i going to take care my parents their all hope is me.they both are in late 60.i feel like i m living in my childhood its strange feeling.
Good that gives you time. So what are you going to do about it? Share your recovery plan, which is so important. You do not really want to cause those around you pain, either, I would think?
tommorow is my exam.i already know i cant pass it.i have to wait, time will slove my problem.no porn again.in my country suicide is better solution for people like me.all these years i work hard but now i cant.
Brother keep believing this is the right platform don't be a coward trying to take ur life u need to take control of ur life and say to that demonic thought to be still and get behind u. I know u can fight it cause I can see ur charisma keep fighting the Lord will see u through
Brother keep believing this is the right platform don't be a coward trying to take ur life u need to take control of ur life and say to that demonic thought to be still and get behind u. I know u can fight it cause I can see ur charisma keep fighting the Lord will see u through
Which country is that???? I have my exams in 2 days just like you. I have big problem with procrastination. Its like I have absolutely no power over my will. However, no matter how bad your life could be. Suicide should never be the option...becoz you live only once.....You will never get the opportunity once again... There are millions of blind people...people without limbs who are busy living....because living is an opportunity.
Your country is NOT you. Go to a doctor or phone an international service from outside your country. You are using this site because you want to improve, so there is still hope. Do not stop!
i'm in sri lanka.i have two sisters.no one will maried them if my illness expose.everyone search deeply about family background before have a proper marriage.so i cant let that happen.now my life is like hell.i cant take it anymore.
You say yourself 'I have to wait. Time will solve my problem'. This is true. Also, your internet history probably cannot be found if you delete it all. Speak to a professional about your mental health!
yes i give 3 month to recover if possible.i still remember last year i feel like i m going to crazy/psysic.i cant trust my mind anymore.what if i heal and then someday in future i will watch porn again i m pretty sure i ll become a Psychosis. what have i done to my brain.