I should have done this the first time I relapsed but I was too stupid to not do it. After a wonderfull 10 day nofap streak. I relapsed hard. I had a small holiday with the youth of my church Didn't feel too well there. as I am an introverted person and I am really sensitive to the presence of differrent energies. So being there in this really busy and noisy environment didn't do me any good. I was moody a lot of the time and knew I suffered a bit from withdrawal from pmo. So when I got home I felt bad and relapsed Like I normally do when I feel bad. But before I went to this event I was able to fight all urges. But now I just felt like I had no power anymore to fight. I lastly relapsed an hour ago and I really feel like shit. I need to end this streak of relapsing. It is really difficult to talk to the people I trust with this. Because they think it is nothing serious and that has made it easier to relapse. But I don't want this way of living Anymore. When I started my streak I found a really cute and nice girl. which I began to really like. We dated a few times. Kissed each other. and I know I want to get to know her better. and build a relationship with her. But I also know that my porn use is in the way and I feel terribly guilty because of this. And If I look deeply into her eyes I melt inside and I really want to be able to look her in the eyes without the guilt Raging inside me. Before I knew her I was motivated to quit pmo and still am. But I am not someone who opens up that easily. and I am insecure about a lot of things. So when I am in doubt I relapse because that is what's rewired in my brain. I think you know that feeling when you didn't hear from someone and you go like. Does she still like me? I really hate that thought because that made me relapse today. And I shouldn't be giving in so easily. Needed to write this to clear my mind a bit. Do you have some tips to cope with those feelings? And some to use nofap and benefit from it in everyday life. I have the feeling like a ship that's drifting on the sea without the abillity to alter it's course.
