I did it again ! I am happy but humble, this is not bragging. Its a way of being now. I dont have urges at all now, but I get excited when sometimes i interact with ladys that i fancy.( not out of control tho) . I tell this just as a clarification so that u dont understand no urges means im asexual now. So the urge to fap or to edge or watch videoporn is really gone, i would not engage again in that type of behavior....so in that sense my brain healed guys. I also want to mention i am single ,so hard mode here. I ll try get some ideas here about my experience and opinions about nofap , as organised as i can and also keep it just straight stuff without methafors. During my last big streak wich ended in may last year, i edged a lot and i had urges...bad ones...thats why i edged. Also a lot of fear was present about health...that maybe its not good to not ejaculate and so on. Afer the relapse i fapped a few times in the next months, but for the most cases it was about edgeing that went to far and i orgasmed. Video porn was not watched in the past year maybe only a few minutes wich did not really excited me like old times (2-3-4yrs ago) but photo porn i watched a few times because of curiosity, desire for sex, lust, and the waves of past. But that was a half a year ago. Now i know that such kind of images wont do me any good. Improvements : Confidence, vitality, clarity of mind. I honestly dont see myself ever again watching porn and masturbating. I meditate a lot as a way of being, so fantasizing is also keeped in check. I had only 2 wet dreams during this curent streak, the 1st one after a fist of anger wich i prolonged with thinking and emotion for two days. So leson learned. Looking forwrd to just enjoy myself and relax, because now when i look back i can see all that masturbation was because of wishing and wanting to achieve things. Im kinda bored and tired of wanting to become someone and acomplish things. Fuck it!! i ll do my best at the pace that i can! We all gonna day someday... So anyway as a conclusion i think that while urges are present old patterns in the brain are still highly active. For me it took a year to heal with two 90day streaks and one 60day streak. And to mention that in between i never went full retard, just a few edge-fap ejaculations. Its the best thing i ever did . Keep trying if you have difficulties on this road but dont give up!!
