Some years ago i did something kind of bad due to my addiction... i don't want to get into detail, i think characterizing it as "bad" is enough. I think i'm not alone here... so i would like to ask you guys if any of you has ever done something bad because of your addiction and if you regret it... if so, have you confessed it to someone or do you keep it to yourself?
I didn't go to visit my dying mother in the hospital because i binge fapped few days before that and felt like utter crap, no energy, mood was in the shitter, anxiety returned. She wanted me to bring her pillow, but that was an excuse to see me, she probably felt it was her time. I said that i'm too tired and that i'll give the pillow to my neighboor who was on her way to the hospital anyway, said i'd go tomorrow. I went later on because my aunt insisted that I go, but it was late, she was near the end and I didn't even say goodbye properly, could have done it if I had went when she called. It was like the worst moment of my life after I realized what a piece of shit i was back then. Fapping in general ruined my relationships with my relatives totally, and we used to be very close.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Like Red Riot, I also hope you can forgive yourself and beat this addiction. This is a very powerful addiction and I have neglected family in the past too. Sometimes when I am with them, I am not "really there".