Whoa, this explained a LOT!! Thankyou @icandoallthings for linking me this. This pretty much sums up what I feel. But I have a doubt, though. Eric tells that it is difficult to stop after the "triggers" part. So like when should we stop? Should we not feel guilty and ashamed of the stuff did? It's kinda confusing me here. Can somebody clarify me?
@fullofcourage I dont have answer for that question Hope someone will help Read this it will help you understand more
You shouldn't let it reach the triggers phase. You should make sure that you start from the 'Guilt' phase. Like he says, once you are past the triggers phase you won't be able to stop when you get to the Sex Trance. Guilt and shame are a part of it but we shouldn't let it affect us or our decision making. Baby steps. That's the way to overcome it.
ohhkkaayyy.... I get it. Thankyou @Lonelylife7 for the ebook. I'll work on it. And, @icandoallthings, so it's shame and guilt which later produces triggers. Okay, so we have to keep shame at bay. So that it won't turn into the humongous monster as "Triggers". Great, thankyou!
I just for some reason found it funny that a guy with such a ''perv stach'' was explaining sexual addiction. Also there is some things to be fixed in this thread title... maybe you will spot what it is.
Very nice content OP, this is some of the ressources that new fapstronauts should see on their very first day ^^ To add a little bit more to @fullofcourage 's question and insights, after the relief is where you're the strongest. Where willpower can be used at its best to take action, make a vow, etc. The further you let things go, the harder it becomes to gather your energy and will and strength. Not to say that if you're past the guilt/shame then might as well relapse - NO ! Just that the closer your get to the triggerfest, the harder it is to overcome an urge. Once the triggers start banging at your door, that's where it's the harshest. When you know you're so close to a fridge full of delicious food, you're starving, but want and try to not open it. Mind you, after a couple of days or weeks you get to know how you react in this situation, what ressources you can count on, and what leads you to a path where your willpower won't help you resist the urge. It's something that you have to learn and grasp
Sorry but what do you mean by "solce" ? Solve? If you mean "solve", then you have to understand that you don't need to solve them all. Breaking the cycle is what you need (repeatedly if need be), so that's a matter of targeting its weakest point, or the point where you're strongest against it. Like it was mentionned before, where we're weakest is when the triggers hit, and while depressed. In the latter we just look for any sort of relief to get out of our mental misery, and in the first we've found the relief but just trying a very last push to resist using. It's the starved vs the fridge - only a matter of time, and who'd blame them. In my experience, reboots started very well when just after a PMO, when I feel shitty enough to say "That's it, i'm fucking done" but not aggravated enough to sit on my couch with head in hands being all negative and feeling powerless. I know that this rage against the state I'm in, the lie I live, the effects on me and my relations, the long history it served and the refusal of being enslaved to that anymore all help me stand up and break the hold that P has on me. At least that's what gets me started on that very moment. Like an evasive manoeuver, strong and precise and irresistible. Then reboot has to find others ways to stay alive, because this rage dies and can't fight alone for very long (usually a couple of days at most). That's where another cycle must be put to work, the one I build with healthy habits and empowering thinking and meditation and sports etc. At first it seems hard to put all this in place, but after a couple of resets, I felt stronger and stonger to get further and further into my challenges. For you it might be some other point in the cycle, but I found this particular rage to be a nice working fellow on this particular path. After 120 days (yay!) I can safely say that I don't need the rage anymore, it's been replaced by many other things that help more and feel better. Wishing you'd find your own!
It's not rage thats motivating me but it's the hope that after rebooting I can stop feeling lazy about school work. Cause i'm tired of my excuse of i'm tired and barely getting a 75 in all my classes. I want them 80's and 90's.
So strong words, @TheFutureMe .. It just captured what goes on my mind during such situations. Same battle. So true \/ you inspire me to complete my challenge.