I have something to confess. I was 29 and have been a heavy porn addict for 15 years. I was also a pre-gay, and had been in many messy sexual intercourse between mans in those days. The worst one include a sex party which includes 9 people. I fap at least every three days, but also had experience for fapping 3 times in a day. That was what I have been through. Jesus found me in 5 years ago and is freeing me from these messy days and addiction, and that is why I am here. Actually, 6 months to go and I will get married. I would do anything to recover myself. I tried to recover from my PMO addiction and had installed Covenant eyes on all my devices. It successfully restrained me from looking up sexually involved contents. Also, my progress so far is to lower my masturbation frequencies down to every 9 days. However, when the impulse attacks, I found myself unable to resist the images and experiences from coming back to my brain. Often I will masturbate by these former memories and relapse. What follows is waves of grief and regret. I thought my problem is that I simply make a decision to restrain myself from PMO, but is actually not loathing what I have done before. If you ask me if I want to experience those messy times again, I don't know if no will me my forever answer. In other words, in my deepest I still desire those sexual excitement, and this is the biggest obstacle I am bumping in. From your experience, do you simply make a decision to quit and success, or do you also have some mind transformation process to actually loath those sexual desires outside of marriage? How did you get there? I am eager to have answers to these and I really need helps.
Hey Joe. Don't be perturbed about this internal fight. Most of us go through this. The mental control is the foundation of recovery. Well, call it necessary loathing or reminding yourself of the acute mental ,physical, soul, relationship damage that pmo does ...it is necessary to have a mindset that you are doing this to go away from the evil that destroys you slowly as you continue to feed the feeling. How to develop the mindset? No two human beings are the same. Some strengthen their mind by reading stuff, watching great movies of how an out of grip loser hero excels in the movie, some go to a therapist, some have a friend or family member, some people ( like me) go on constantly reminding themselves of the torture that pmo has caused and what I want to achieve ....fear of destruction (physical and psychological harm caused) also helps us to stay away from throwing ourselves into this well of fire for literally 2 or 3 seconds of pleasure. To sum up, your answer is in your question itself. The main victim in all this has been the mind and yes..mind conditioning and caring is of utmost importance.
I ask myself the same question everyday....I don't know the answer ...my opinion which you should take as a grain of salt is this: it'll never go away you will always crave these things this is the reason why god kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden because once they sinned once sin will always be in them which is why god would never allow them to eat from the tree of everlasting life...coke heads always desire coke even if they haven't had it in years...alcoholics always desire alcohol even if they've been clean for decades...cigarette smokers get the itch when they see someone smoking even though there wearing a no smoking patch ...I never crave coke cigs or alcohol because I never had these ...I can't imagine being addicted to these...I crave porn sex prostitutes even though it's been years since I've seen a prostitue...over a year since I had sex with anyone and over 100 days since I watched porn and masturbated...I crave it badly but I pray and resist... I resist because I have rules in place hat prevent me from being any where near porn...I don't violate the rules because id have to go out my way too break them and I know god would be watching me the whole way and that scares me the most I ask
Thanks for your sharing. I appreciate from my deepest. I recognize what you share about the fact that no one shares the identical path to quit PMO addiction. What I am especially interested in your sharing is to reminding ourselves about the harm that were made in our life through PMO. Actually, what made me determine the reboot is to recognize how PMO change our brain structure in order to pursue it in later times. However, it seems to me that I know them only in my sober time. In the time of arousal, it seems that someone is saying to me "yes they can be harmful, but a little indulgence is fine and maybe better". I lack something that clearly reminds me the hard truth that my past experience brings me more harm (physical and emotional) than pleasure. I wonder if you have some failure experience when facing those desires? Nevertheless, I will still try your suggestion. Thanks for your advises anyway
Yes that was exactly my sorrow. As I have mentioned, I had been gay. Now I know all the reasons that I cannot go that way, either from God or from something else. However I still peek those passerby who attracts me from time to time (but at least I had never actively pursued any same sex sexual experiences). It seems to me that these abhorrent desire just accumulate, and waiting for a time to arouse me into relapse. Currently I masturbate partly for lowering my desire for other terrible things, which I don't like either. I also want to encourage you by a verse: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.(1 John, 4:18) To me, the reason why God tell us what to do/not to do is that He loves us. God wishes our lives to live to its fullest, just as most parents hope for their children. Also the laws/rules in Bible is not there to scare us, but to direct us to Jesus Christ, for He alone can forgive. Wishes God's love heal our broken hearts and transform us some day.
I would like to direct you to Deuteronomy 32:39 when god said "See now that I, even I, am he, andthere is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand." Also read the whole Deuteronomy 28 I
