Starting reboot: Day 0 (25 year old man)

Hi guys (and girls),

I've severe self-esteem issues, so please bear with me.

So I've been struggling with porn addiction for many years now, my first exposure being when I was 13.

Developed social anxiety, depression and schizophrenic thoughts at the age of 17 as a result.

Somehow, when I was in my last 2 years of uni, I managed to stop porn use and only masturbated without orgasm to successfully attain First Class Honours for my bachelor degree in uni.

However, I've been awkward around girls ever since I started heavy porn use coupled with video games at around the age of 15.

I relapsed after completing uni in 2016 and starting work initially due to boredom, then, idiots around me that were all using porn and joking about porn, thinking that they were funny.

Now, for 2017, it's been about 8 months of struggling on and off porn, with the longest abstinence being 4 weeks long.

I've just got an offer to work in South America, I'm stoked, but at the same time, am aware that my stress response is out of whack and I will get crazy cravings due to sensitised addiction pathways, mainly due to my withdrawal symptoms, i.e. social anxiety, depression and schizophrenic thoughts. Even worse, I get very socially anxious and get schizophrenic thoughts when I hear a language I don't understand. And I don't speak Spanish.

Just relapsed again today but am committed to start Day 1 of 365 days tomorrow.

 

Thanks bud!