Can I want to please her too much?

Is the focus on what she wats and is asking for or what you insist on giving her? I think imposing your personal desires by trying to do things 'pleasing to her' when she doesn't really care or want it is not about her. It is about your own pleasure. It may be best to ask her what she wants rather than deciding for her. Just my few thoughts.

 

If you feel like you're imposing, that's something you should just outright ask her. Communication never hurts in the long term, especially if it's with someone that truly cares about you.

Personally, I think you've been given a gift of sexual satisfaction through empathy. Now go use that gift! If that's what she wants. And if that's what you want.

 

I don't know if this answers your question, but I always open with oral when we have sex, (mainly because that's her on switch), and have noticed that after some time she stops me, and then reciprocates. Just remember that sex, intimacy, relationships are a 2-way street. If your just giving and giving, and not recieveing then you may have a problem.

But I don't think that's your situation, just make sure that your need are getting met too

 

I think it's fairly common that women prefer to give rather than receive for a few reasons. They want us to be in their debt, for one. They are definitely control freaks. For another, they aren't as pre-occupied with sex as we are. I think they do crave attention and affection madly, but orgasm is of small importance to them. So it's one of the more beautiful dynamics of gender. Women are more like to be submissive, gaining vicarious enjoyment of sex through our enjoyment. I've been in situations where I've full on offended women by trying to please them too much. As an analogy, consider the way you feel when you're emasculated, denied your male identity. To many women, pleasing them strips them of their femininity. Men eat, women cook.

 

Thanks for this thread. You are speaking to me. The toughest thing for me is that many times she does not know what she wants. I ask. She says she does not know. Your thoughts???

 

I also have a sort of "give attitude". It goes through many aspects of my life, and also it is true for my sexual relationships. I LOVE it when my partner is getting wild and going off, but still, I think that this has to do with some sort of low self esteem. I am seeking for "praise", and when she is going off, this is somewhat like a "praise" to me.

We should probably also learn to "take", not only to "give".

 

Very good analysis. Men eat, Women cook - good point. Very true, and also explains some things for me even clearer. I even once met an "extreme" woman, age 40+, who craved to be submissive and to be bound (bondage), yet she herself said that her main craving was "to be in the focus of attention". Even more, it was totally important for her that the man was aroused. If the man was not aroused, she could not become aroused herself. That girl for sure was extreme, she even appeared to be a little bit psychopathic to me, but it explained a lot of how many women are ticking.

 

Not all women are the same. don't generalize them.

 

Of course!! Generalizing would be totally stupid. Even more, since humanity RELIES ON EXCEPTIONS. Itf there were not some people who are really "exceptional", we all would still sit in caves.

But clearly there are some undeniable facts which apply to a vast majority of women: E.g.: eventually they give life, and thus, being a mother is a deeply rooted instinct. So, this explains much of Dwizzy's post. "cooking" = "caring" = is a deeply rooted instinct.

 

Ehm, I would say yes. But I feel you, I was like that. Or maybe still am. I know for sure that I was too obsessed with pleasing her that I forgot about myself and that was actually a turn off for her. So dont be afraid of pleasing her but also let her get the feeling of pleasing you because neither of you have a clue how much it means for her that you can please her but she is also able to please you. That way you will get the most out of it and for sure please her to the fullest.

I was like this with a girl until she actually told me "let me please you". I had a problem with this but I did as she said because back then I didn't know that for her to get her full sensation she needed to be able to please me. She tried with everything you can imagine. BJ, HJ, and all kinds of positions (sorry if this is triggering) but she were unable to please me and that really broke her I could tell.

Why couldn't she please me? porn induced ED I think was a bit factor of it along with anxiety of letting someone else than myself please me.

So yea, let HER try to please you and see how it goes. Good luck!