Here to support

Hey,

Welcome. You will find support here.

If you wife is a pmo addict, you can support her. Of course, supporting her means encouraging her reboot and participation on NoFap.

One way to support her may not seem obvious. Don't be co-dependent. By co-dependent I mean helping her habit. Put a filter on the internet, make sure her "alone time" is spent without the comforts she's arranged, if you pay for the phones, turn off the mobile data on her line.

Most importantly, don't co-sign her BS. By that I mean, when she comes up with some wild excuse as to what or why something was done and you know she's just making an excuse for pmo, call her on it. Don't just help her arrange whatever she's trying to talk you into. You didn't cause this, it's not your problem, and you can't fix it. It's her recovery, her program, she's the one that needs to work her program.

L

 

Not to be nit-picky, but I think the term you mean is "enabler."

"That word. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - The Princess Bride

 

Tim G,

Yes. Exactly what I meant. Too many years in AA and AL-Anon. Co-dependent is a 12 step word. Enabler is pretty much the same thing - but not.

So, yes, not being an enabler or co-dependent is very good advice to anyone in a relationship with any kind of addict.

L

 

Hey - didn't mean to be nasty. Just firm in your resolve not to enable her addiction.

L

 

Congratulations! This is a very kind gesture for her! Try reading threads in "Women in Reboot" to understand her and in "Significant Others" for your support!