hey people...i'm 47 years old...and reckon i've got a problem. i cant quite believe i'm saying this out loud but here i go....i dont think porn is unhealthy..i think lots and lots of people use it...and me and the mrs used to watch together...but last few years its in my life every day....i still want sex with my wife...but i need help to keep it up (blue pill) she knows this and i'm open about it but i blame getting on and cycling a lot (which may well contribute...but ami kidding/convincing myself) we probably have sex 3 times a month....but i can...erm...you know....3 times a day sometimes....other days not at all. look the cycle isnt bad...i dont think it is anyway...and my habit is normal (i mean what i watch...nothing young..same sex etc) so i'm not finding something i'm sadly denying i want. so...what do i do? where do i start? should i start? whats normal whats not?
Welcome! Well maybe the first question you have to ask yourself is why are you quitting P, or PM or PMO. If you are PMOing everyday or something like that I would suggest you abstain from PMO during 15 days (minimum) to see if it has significant benefits for you...You might be surprised by the results... Stay strong!
Welcome Baxter! I agree start with setting some goals and start to recognize the factors / causes that lead you to watch porn... once you know your triggers you’ll be more adept at combatting them and replacing them with healthy alternatives. Lotsa good information on this forum, start by reading what some other folks are doing. You got this!
If you truly believe this then honestly ask yourself if this is the forum for you. The vast majority of people here would disagree with you on this point. And it wouldn't be out of stubbornness, it would come from a place of experience with a lifestyle that has destroyed many of us.
Well just try to go without it for 30 days and see for yourself. You'll be surprised how low self-control you probably have.
isnt this why i'm here though? to find the truth......is it un healthy? who am i hurting? i'm not arguing here i'm looking for answers
I can speak only of my own shortcomings on the matter. I believe porn created in me an unquenchable thirst for the promiscuous. The more I lusted after women, the more I grew to hate them for not longing me in reality. The self-centered mindset was only perpetuated by the massive amounts of dopamine being released each time I'd binge. My relationships faltered, I grew resentful, I became bitter, jealous, anger, and isolated. I both loved and hated my addiction. This struggle left me numb and frozen in life. I wasn't motivated to pursue anything but my own darkness. For out of despair came self-pity, which led to greater despair, and more self-pity. A truly maddening, destructive, and dark cyclone it was. The longer I indulged, the less likely I became to recognize my own faults, to admit my problem. As I sunk deeper and deeper into my thirst for digital women who would bend to my every whim (so long as I could manage to put the wicked fantasy to words), I grew oblivious to my own destruction. Porn made me feel like the villain for a long time. What was more horrifying was after awhile this feeling faded. Then I knew darkness had truly set in and fully numbed my morality.
a very honest reply Jack thanks for that....i have to say i've not experienced anything like that...i have a happy life...a great wife...good friends and actually a good job....although i think my job is part of my problem (i work from home and it allows easy access plus sometimes is boring)...i interact with a lot of people a lot of the time..have good friends and a couple of hobbies (guitar...triathlon) my main problem in my mind is this....is the PMO regularity...the cause of me not being able to get it up....with my wife.....i mean...48 in a few months...should i need a blue pill....by the way.....the sex we have is great when we do....or should i see this as normal...do i have a problem at all as i've not experienced any of the darkness of the post above. some good advice on abstaining for a while...so thanks for that those who posted....though i'm still interested to talk it through more if anybody else wants to comment.
