Tonight is our 21st anniversary and I am feeling increasingly stressed. We are going on an overnight at a fabulous boutique hotel. We went last year and made reservations before disclosure. My husband is not pressuring me on anything. More so he is giving me lea way to lead this journey. The problem is, I'm scared. I'm afraid all this rage will finally break loose. I'm afraid I'll get freaked out. I'm afraid I won't be able to relax. I am afraid I will shut down. I know I should just let things happen how they do, but I am really good at stuffing my emotions and my top emotion right now is fear. Anxiety has always been an issue in my life and right now, most of the time I just want this to go away. Also. My SO seems to be handling disclosure so much better. He hasn't been watching anything for at least 6 months. He feels relief because this has been weighing on him for years.
I'm sorry. Anniversaries are really hard. Also, it sucks that they get to feel relief when it comes out because everything is out in the open and they aren't hiding anymore but then we are left reeling and have to deal with the pain all of what we just found out causes. I hope your night goes OK.
Thank you. So far the drive hasnt been bad. I am getting a bit snarky, but tats me on a good day. He is trying very hard to make me feel comfortable.
I hope you had an enjoyable and positive night. It seems that you needed to vent, rather than seeking any advice, I hope it helped to share.
I hear you. We had a big milestone anniversary last month and I wanted nothing to do with it. I'm thankful it was in the middle of the week and our schedules were way too crazy for us to do anything besides squeeze in a quick dinner. That way I didn't have to make excuses or pretend to enjoy it. I didn't want to celebrate it but I didn't want conflict or to make him feel bad either.
