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Relapse Rationalizations (Read To Save Streak)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Jonny Swizurk, Nov 29, 2017.

  1. Jonny Swizurk

    Jonny Swizurk Fapstronaut

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    All credit goes to user Rennault
    ====================

    Here's a list of the bullshit we tend to tell ourselves before we relapse, and why it's bullshit.

    1.) I'll just P without the MO!

    No, you won't. You'll just P for 4 hours straight until you finally can't resist touching the bulge in your shorts. Voila, relapse.

    2.) I'll just see what's new...

    There's nothing new. Nothing. "Oh, look, it's shot from a slightly different angle." "Wow, that girl has BROWN hair instead of blonde!" "Wow, that guy's dick is big!"

    There is literally NOTHING new. Nothing worth any of your time.

    3.) But I need to jerk off to get to sleep!

    No, you need to exercise, stop drinking coffee after 2pm, and maybe take a sleeping aid or drink some chamomile tea. There are a lot of different ways you can get yourself tired.

    4.) Hey, I've been on a long streak lately. One look/MO session can't really set me back all that far, can it?

    Yes, it can. First off, there's the chaser effect, which will make it a hell of a lot harder to get back on track. Second, you know for a fact that you're going to feel like shit the whole rest of the day, at least. Third, if you start the cycle of self-hatred again after you realize that you broke your long streak, you're likely going to binge. Hard.

    And honestly, binging is the only real thing that will truly require you to COMPLETELY start all over again, from square one.

    5.) The urge is just too much!

    Cold showers. The more you hate the cold water, the faster that urge will disappear. Stand under some truly COLD water for maybe 30 seconds, and your urges will be gone. Feeling cold for a little bit and then feeling great for hours is a lot better than feeling hot for a little bit and feeling like shit for hours. Take your pick.

    6.) My goal is NoFap, not not using porn!

    You are a porn addict. You masturbate TO porn. That's like an alcoholic saying "My goal is to not get drunk, not to not drink at all! I can just drink a can..."

    Not everyone who does porn is a porn addict. You are. If you want to stop PMO, you have to get rid of the P first. You don't overcome a porn addiction by looking at porn.

    7.) I just need to get it out of my system...

    The only thing you'll be getting out of your system is your sense of productivity, confidence, energy, and focus.

    8.) I'm such a loser. Who even cares?

    Right now, your brain is doing whatever it can to get you to come crawling back for your fix. "Hating yourself" is literally just an excuse to keep doing porn. You don't even realize you're doing it, but subconsciously, you'll tell yourself just about ANYTHING if it will get you to watch some more porn.

    Basically, your brain is throwing a tantrum so it can get what it craves. It's like a spoiled little child who's used to getting whatever it wants right away. Good parents say no to their kids and ignore the tantrums. Bad parents give into those kids' demands, and those kids grow up to be spoiled little shits with inflated senses of entitlement.

    Show your brain who's boss.

    9.) I just want to make sure my dick works!

    Your dick works.

    10.) "I'll start beginning next week!"

    Overweight person: "I'll start working out on January 1st for my New Year's Resolution!"

    We all know how that turns out.

    No, you'll start now. You've been putting things off for much of your life, and a lot of that can be attributed to you lack of motivation thanks to porn.

    11.) I'll just start off slow and maybe masturbate only ____ times a month/week/day...

    Alcoholic: "I'll just start off slow and maybe get drunk ____ times a month/week/day..."

    Sounds like bullshit, doesn't it? That doesn't mean that relapsing twice in one month vs. twice in one week isn't progress, but if you consciously set out to do porn sometimes, you'll NEVER get rid of your addiction.

    12.) I want to see how much bigger my orgasm is now that I've waited ____ days!

    Yeah, your orgasm will be bigger. So will your crash down to earth afterwards when you realize that you blew your streak and that you're all alone with nothing but a screen in front of you depicting a man/woman/cartoon character/hentai/whatever you're into who will never meet you and will never even know your name to keep you company.

    13.) I've reached my goal of ____ days! I'm cured! I can watch porn without becoming addicted, now, right?

    If you're excited about the fact that you can "watch porn now" because you're "cured", then you aren't cured. You're still addicted. Keep at it.

    14.) I'll just Edge without the P or O.

    No you won't. You'll edge until you can't resist the urge to either view P to aid you. Or you'll edge until you pass the point of no return and you'll O.

    15.) "Since I just relapsed I might as well do it again"

    You'll end of binging and lose all the benefits you gained from previous streak rather than start over after one relapse and keep some of the benefits.

    ====================

    Well, that's about all I can think of.

    Remember that you have an addiction, but your addiction is not who you are. You already have more control over yourself than you think.

    Keep at it, everyone.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2017
  2. sakeen

    sakeen Fapstronaut

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    Thank you bro this is very helpful. I will write some of these in my relapse prevention sheet
     
  3. Whatalife!

    Whatalife! Fapstronaut

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    I have had a big problem with the 'it'll just be to get me to sleep' argument. I've had some pretty bad insomnia this past month so it's been a real challenge to just lay in bed and try to not do anything. Music usually helps a bit, it takes longer for me to get to sleep but at least my mind is distracted with something.

    Another thing that will almost get me is telling myself that I'll be helping my brain by watching P and not MOing, like I will be curing myself of the P=pleasure association in my brain if I watch P with no O. But that's just my brain trying to trick me into watching it.

    I'll do the same thing with MO, I will say 'if I M to something positive, a healthy fantasy, I will be helping my brain heal' but again, that is just my brain trying to trick me into MO.
     
    isthisusernameok likes this.
  4. Jonny Swizurk

    Jonny Swizurk Fapstronaut

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    Nice, wanna post your sheet here as well?
     
  5. Jonny Swizurk

    Jonny Swizurk Fapstronaut

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    I was having a similar sleep issue.

    I've been working out later in the day and it gets me tired and wanting to go to bed.
     
  6. Guilty as charged, here!
     
  7. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    I love Jonny's words here: "I've reached my goal of ____ days! I'm cured! I can watch porn without becoming addicted, now, right? If you're excited about the fact that you can "watch porn now" because you're "cured", then you aren't cured. You're still addicted."

    This is where I am guilty as charged too. I often think about how I will "reward" myself sexually for hitting certain milestones. HAH! As Jonny points out, that is BULLSHIT.

    Sometimes a kick in the head feels good!
     
    Jonny Swizurk and Immature like this.
  8. gottagetback

    gottagetback Fapstronaut

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    This hit me hard. All the ''waifu's'' I had will never keep me company. I'll never be able to meet them, so it's time to wake up and start living the real life.
     
  9. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    These are really great. It helps so much to see them written out. It's easier to see how ridiculous they are. It also makes me realize that at one time or another I've used every single one of these to avoid getting healthy. Thanks!
     
    Jonny Swizurk and Davidphd1866 like this.
  10. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    I am with Hooked on this....I have done and do the same things. That so many of you can "predict" things I have done REALLY convinces me that I am a true addict.....and need to admit it and face it straight on.
     
    Jonny Swizurk and Immature like this.
  11. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    How about this.
    "I'm not going to look at P. I'm just going to do some searches on *&%$# to see what it brings up. I won't even open the websites."
    Or:
    "I'll just . . . (read some erotic stories, look at some pix, etc.). That's not really porn and not as damaging as videos."
     
  12. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    HAHAHAHA! So true. I can't tell you how much "research" I've done trying to paint "science" on top of my fetishes.
     
    Jonny Swizurk and Healed! like this.
  13. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    I used to struggle a lot with these rationalizations when I first started nofap. I wasn't fully commited back then and they made it very hard for me to get past a week. Sometimes I'd abstain for a week just so I could get a bigger O when I relapsed. I believed that edging without porn and watching porn without MO were not considered relapses. As you'd expect, they just led to full-blown PMO.

    Some rationalizations I'd like to add are "since I just relapsed I might as well do it again" and "it's okay to edge as long as it's without porn and you don't cum." Ever since I've implemented my zero-tolerance policy on edging it became much easier to get past 30 days. Imagine there's a pie in front of you. Edging is like nibbling on the crust without cutting a slice to eat. The more you nibble on the crust, the more you want to cut a slice and eat it. Edging for prolonged periods of time is like nibbling on the pie so much that you end up eating way more than what one slice would be. It's hard to overcome these rationalizations but the end result is worth it.
     
  14. Slothman

    Slothman Fapstronaut

    What would you say when you don't want to lose your endurance?
    I mean i don't want to be the guy that last half a minute you know... That thought haunts my mind...
     
    Jonny Swizurk likes this.
  15. Jonny Swizurk

    Jonny Swizurk Fapstronaut

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    Reading them aloud shows you how they are all BS
     
  16. isthisusernameok

    isthisusernameok Fapstronaut

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    Yes, yes and Yes to all of this. I've struggled with everything on this list at one point or another. Thank you so much for finally putting it into words. I want to favorite this post so I can come back to it when I'm feeling tempted again. Seriously, thanks
     
    Jonny Swizurk likes this.
  17. Jonny Swizurk

    Jonny Swizurk Fapstronaut

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    "since I just relapsed I might as well do it again"

    This is another really popular one I think.

    Do you have a good counter for this one you'd like to share?
     
  18. Jonny Swizurk

    Jonny Swizurk Fapstronaut

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    IMO that's a smaller issue than the issues involving PMO. But I hear you
     
  19. Karmicdog6901

    Karmicdog6901 Fapstronaut

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    Here's some that I've told my self
    "Fuck it might as well"
    "It will feel really good"
    "I'm not THAT bad" pfffft bad enough
    "At least I don't have ED"
    "I'll stop next time"
    I know writing them down will help prompt me to think twice once I recognize these thoughts. I immediatlely related to most of the ones you posted. Good to know I'm not the only one with the same thoughts
     
    Jonny Swizurk and The_Box like this.
  20. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    No, but that was my primary rationalization when it came to binging after long streaks. I would then binge and lose all the benefits I gained from my previous streak rather than start over after one relapse and keep some of the benefits.
     
    Jonny Swizurk and The_Box like this.

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