Hey so I've been dating this girl for 4 months now. Anyways she's a homeschooled Christian girl who wants to have sex when she is married. I was always waiting til marriage but had sex with my ex. Now in the last month things have gotten really physical with my girl friend. Tonight was the first night we made out and I took her shirt of etc... now to me it's awesome I love it. But every time we get done I feel insanely guilty that I'm making her do something she doesn't want to do. I don't respect her wishes, but she also doesn't say no. I don't know what to do ughh
It may sound obvious but, why don't you try explaining her how you feel about it? For what you said, she hasn't said anything about this right? Maybe she's okay with that, maybe she doesn't want to disappoint you... Just tell her you feel this way, and ask her about it. Communicate, it sometimes is hard, but damn feels right
That's great advice. Agreed. As a women I would simply want you to talk to me. Sex is a topic that people have many opinions on. And some people go to far to please other people. Would you break up with her if she said ok I don't want to do anything more the kiss till marriage? If you would Not, then tell her you are ok with whatever she wants to do. You're not gonna hate get for not wanting to go any farther.
Maybe this girl don't want to completey loose you so she let you have some. It could be also she sees foreplay and sex as two different things and is open for foreplay, touching and everything but doesn't want to get involved in the sex-part. However be careful because the boundary can be easily transgressed. And you might end up loosing her because in the end she will feel extremely guilty and bad about herself and will (partly) blame you for losing her virginity
She's probably okay doing anything short of actual sex. But as others have stated, COMMUNICATE. There's nothing as important as communication in a relationship.
This is new territory for her. She’s probably unsure about many things. Conflicting desire and beliefs. Instead of simply assuming you can do what you want—ask. “Is this okay?” “Can I touch you here?” “Does this make you uncomfortable?” Be a gentleman. Be aware of her body language. Be patient. Be the right kind of lover.
Although I like the approach, in many cases women will still feel pressured to yes instead of no. They don't want to seem like a prude etc. Be sure to talk to her before being intamite too.
I agree with this completely. But make sure you have these conversations at different times, maybe both in the heat of the moment as well as when you're not making out. Coming from a strict Christian background, in my experience most everything is comfortable and exciting in the moment, but if your head is a little more clear, you wouldn't want to do certain things. Discuss this with her and make sure you know what her boundaries are BEFORE you cross them, not after.
Thanks for the reply guys, so I have talked to her before and he's doesn't want to have sex before marriage, and in okay with that. Well one time we made out and I just kind of touched her chest etc and she told me that we are going to far. And I apologized. I always ask to make sure she's okay but like you said she might just be saying yes. I think she does want to do things though. This last time she didn't say anything and she seems to put her self in a position where I will kiss her but idk it's hard because I feel guilty about it but at the same time I really am attracted to her and have desires and stuff too.
Talk to her about it and discuss boundaries. No amount of guesswork is gonna substitute simple talking about it.
