I was aware that I should not do it. But I anyway went ahead and failed my reboot. Now I am regretting it. I was fully aware and could've controlled myself. Somehow I slipped. I must do better next time. I'll reset my counter after this post. I lasted 6 days this time.
No worries man! Good job for getting six days. Just stay confident that you can do it! also taking a cold shower if you feel your about to relapse really helps.
Six days is monumental, man. And it's awesome that, even though you're starting over, you're not giving up. With that kind of attitude, you can do this!
Six days is great. You will do much better in the next reboot. Its tough to not be harsh on oneself, but it doesn't help being harsh on oneself either. I am on day 5 today and it was the toughest day till now (more info in my journal if you are interested). I'll report back if I make it thought day 6 without slipping!
My biggest mistake is that I didn't see all these encouraging comments sooner. I failed again. This time too, I was aware that I was slipping, but I was just too tempted to relax my mind. I had been working very hard, and wanted a break. Instead of relaxing through some better means, unfortunately, I chose this stupid way.It's very clear to me now that I'm addicted to this dopamine stuff that my brain releases each time I PMO, and it's making me do this. It's very shameful that I don't even have this much self-control. In fact, I find it hard to believe that I could fail again the very next day! It shows that my will power is very weak. Ok, so here's what I'll do from now on as precautionary measures: I'll login to this forum and read the posts and get inspired each time I logon to the internet from home. I do this fapping from home, when others are sleeping. So I must start by reading the inspiring posts in this forum. That will hopefully chastise my fickle mind. I must also remember why I'm doing this: My mind! Pay attention to this --- 1. I'm addicted to this dopamine rush that I get after PMOing. I should not be addicted to anything. I should be in control of my mind. So prove it, by NoFap for 30 days to begin with! It's an open challenge to you, my mind! 2. It makes my mind dull, for sure. 3. It spoils my health and affects my energy level for the gym workouts. It will reduce the benefit in terms of muscle gain from my exercises. 4. Comeon, man! Isn't it a time-waste? Of what use it? You have so many wonderful and useful things to do, and there's so little time! So why do you keep wasting precious time like this? Be of some use to society! 5. Each time you watch porn, you are encouraging the crime gangs to ensnare more innocent girls into this porn industry. You are indirectly becoming responsible for destroying the lives of so many innocent girls and women! How could you do this? For your dopamine rush, do you wish to ruin the lives of so many innocent girls and women? That's shameful! Stop it, this instant, my mind! 6. My mind, please listen to me. I'm serious. This is disgusting and shameful! Grow up! Move on in life and do something worthwhile! 7. You have so many good things to do: 1. create youtube videos for students to learn. 2. complete courses on coursera and earn certificates. 3. watch inspiring ted talks. 4. write that pending research paper and publish it. 5. write a novel. 6. write a short story. 7. learn painting and craft and make art for your child. 8. exercise and develop a fit body like your idol. I hope that hereafter, I'll keep reading this whenever I get tempted to PMO and stop! I'm going to follow the advice of one of the comments, and set a smaller goal of 7 days. Let me achieve that and feel the thrill of succeeding first. I think the thrill of successfully achieving a goal will also give pleasure and hopefully I can get addicted to this thrill of success!
I've been working very hard to keep myself busy ever since my last reset. Today I got the urge very strong. It kept distracting me while studying, so much so that even though I remembered all the cautions and thought through it all, I again went ahead and PMOed. It's like I was hypnotized into doing it. I can't believe it! I'm going to set my counter to 3 days now, so that I can taste success at least once! I'm going to work my way towards bigger and bigger goals, steadily. This is an interesting challenge of self-control and mastery over my mind. I've to prove to myself that I'm the master of my mind. I've to work my way towards a year finally. I think once I can refrain for a year, I would've become completely free.
Don't beat yourself up! Don't be down on yourself! That only makes it worse! Also, don't just concentrate on not doing it, that makes you think about it even more - you have to distract yourself with something that's fun that isn't fapping. Your brain needs the dopamine hit - give it something harmless that's not fapping but that you enjoy doing. You're doing great! We're all in this together - do it for us!
I've decided to bribe myself into achieving my goals. I promise to gift myself an expensive watch if I achieve my goals, all the way to 1 year. Thanks falk, for your tip about not concentrating on not doing it. Now I'll concentrate on the prize - very expensive watch. I hope this works!
Hi positron, you are inspiring. Keep being honest and keep going. You will be free with your attitude. Thanks brother.
Yay! Just 1 more day to go to meet my first goal of 1 week without PMO! The trick that worked for me was to become insanely busy - so busy that I have absolutely no time to sit idle and ponder and even think of PMO. I enrolled in two courses in coursera by paying for it. Earlier I had enrolled in courses for free, and never finished any of those courses. But now that I paid for the courses, I am completing all the assignments and tests on time to get the certificate and value for my money. So I'm getting up around 3 am, 4 am and even 2 am to finish the assignments. Rest of the day I'm busy at work and with my family. I am also exercising daily. Just now, I got the urge, and decided to post here to cool down the urge. And it worked! While I was boasting about how well I have fared this week, the urge has subsided! So now I can get back to work. My mind certainly feels fresher since I've abstained from PMO. My energy levels are also higher. Thanks to all the fellow fapstronauts for motivating me so much! My next goal will be for 2 weeks!
You can do it I like your way of thinking, and I have something to add: Sure there are many good and beneficial things you can do instead of fap, but I would encourage a recreational activity as a first alternative like going out, playing games etc Don't put a life goal as a substitute for fap, you brain is not ready yet. It is extra pressure on you Stay clean
So far I'm not missing PMO. I can feel that my mind is lighter and sharper. I read the GREAT post for us fapstronauts - three fatal mistakes. It has helped me a lot, since I had been indeed making those 3 mistakes in all my previous failures. So now I'm able to ask myself why I'm having the urge for PMO now? Invariably, the answer I get from my mind is, either: 1. I've been working hard, so let me relax and have some fun. I respond to that by telling myself, that there are BETTER ways of having fun, which won't harm my brain and mind, and which won't encourage the porn industry to flourish and ruin the lives of countless girls. I can read a novel, or paint, or listen to music or exercise or watch a movie. 2. I saw a trigger in the media - say, for example some actress had a wardrobe malfunction. So I would be curious to look it up in the net, which would lead to PMO. I would respond to that by asking myself: Knowing from my past history, I'm sure it'll lead to PMO. You can be curious about more worthwhile things than wondering how celebs look without clothes! I have so many pending things to complete. This is where keeping busy helps. I always have pending assignments or tests to complete in Coursera. So I urge myself to not waste time in idle pondering and instead complete the assignments. 3. I have a boner - the early morning wood. The tingling sensation wants me to MO. I remind myself about how miserable I would feel if I MOed. So I decide to divert my mind with some work. 4. Nowadays, fortunately, I don't have any reason to feel sad or bad, so I don't have this as a reason for PMOing. I've now set my new target to 2 weeks! Thanks to my fellow fapstronauts for encouraging me and making me aware of how I was ruining my life and for getting me back on track to a healthy mind. regards,
I understand your suggestion, but the problem in my case is, that I PMO either late at night (after 10 pm)or early in the morning (between 4am and 7am) when everyone in my house is asleep. This timing is not conducive for going out or playing games. But yeah, I can do some other fun activity like reading novels, watching movies, etc. Or I can find some fun hobby to do. Let me know if you can think of some better fun activities to do at these hours.
Hmm. So I failed today. I was again very aware today before failing. I could've avoided it if I had wanted. Let me try to understand how I failed this time. Was I feeling bad or sad? No. How did the trigger come? I was feeling horny and my wife was not interested in making love, since she was feeling very sleepy. I wake up early, by 4 am, but my wife is a late riser. I feel horniest early in the morning, but my wife doesn't feel horny that early since she's too sleepy at that time. Hmm, but that's not an excuse for not being able to stick to a decision I took. This shows a lack of will power which is not good. When I think about it, I was missing the porn, the pleasure of watching beautiful bodies. So it was the craving for the pleasure of watching the beautiful female body. My mind is addicted to this craving, making me a slave of it. This is not good. This addiction doesn't do me any good. It wastes precious time. That time could be put to much better use. I already have severe scarcity of time. I must not waste my time like this. Today I wasted 1 hr doing PMO. I got a strong dopamine rush, my head felt giddy with pleasure after PMO. So now what? I wasted precious time for few seconds of dopamine rush, and spoilt the wiring of my brain. When I make love to my wife, it doesn't have these side effects, I can clearly see that. Making love to my wife seems healthy and I feel fresher and mind seems clearer. But PMO leaves my mind duller and polluted. Ok, I'm improving with each attempt. My first attempt lasted 3 days after which I binged for 2 days. My second attempt lasted 2 days. My third attempt lasted 14 days, which proves that I can become free if I make a stronger mental resolve. This time, I'm going to definitely last for 21 days, which I shall keep extending for the rest of my life. I've decided no more losing to porn. I am a man of self-esteem and have lot of worthy things to do in life, than waste my time watching porn. The issue is not so much about MOing as it is about watching porn. It's a sick pastime, and I must stop doing it. I must respect the privacy of women and not wish to see them naked by watching porn, just because it is available. I must occupy my mind with higher pursuits.
