This has been a long time coming.

Flimsyfryingpan · Nov 30, 2017

Never thought I would be in a forum online talking about something like this. This is a problem that has been plagueing me since the earliest years of middle school. Then the visual stimulation came from a mixture of porn mags and whatever site we could find during the early age of the internet. Back then it was nothing more than innocent discovery and a "healthy" thing for a teenager to do. Unfortunately for me it was immediately somthing I took to excess from the start. There was never normal amount for me. It was much more then the average person. It started with mainly the M and O and the P quickly made its way to the top. I have tried for many years to stop, but couldnt. My longest streak was 2 weeks but I always found my way back. Im tired of it. Ive been a slave to this for many many years. I am now 35 going on 36 and it has ruined many aspects of my life and has taken me down a dark path at one point. Im done with it. Im on board with all this. 90 day hard mode reboot im in.

Jerk Reaction · Dec 1, 2017

I think you will find a lot of people here who can relate to the "slave" to PMO reality. I strongly suggest starting a journal, and keep us posted on your thoughts and successes!

Menta_Na · Dec 1, 2017

congratulations on taking the stride towards a new and better life, it was pretty much the same for me. were all in this together, be active, and believe in yourself.

ReclaimingControl80 · Dec 9, 2017

I felt largely the same way you do brother when I "broke down" and realized that I need help. It was ( as still sometimes) is difficult to post about this stuff online, although we're all on here anonymously. Just know that reaching out for help is the biggest step to take. While there will definitely be struggles and challenges on the way to recovery, you've already done the hardest part!

Proud of you and praying that all of us on this site make it through this and can see the time someday this is all just a distant memory!

Protagoras · Dec 9, 2017

Welcome! Here are some things working for me.

Andras Vadim · Dec 9, 2017

Hey man, I also want to speak up and welcome you here.

Love the honesty. I relate to your words quite a lot: I think myself a slave to my own desires too and it deeply disturbs me so that's my motive to quit. I just want to chime in and say you're not alone psychologically, even if you're physically isolated.

I'm not that much further ahead than you, having just started abstaining too. Best piece of advice I can give you right now is install porn-blocking software before you start. K9 Protection is a good suggestion for your computer; SecureTeen is good for your smartphone. It may save you when the urges get overwhelmingly tempting and your willpower breaks (particularly true for me at night). I don't say it to discourage you but rather warn you: the first 5 days are definitely the hardest. So prepare for them, just like Odysseus tying himself to the mast of his ship before hearing the tempting song of the sirens.

Get through that period, though, and you'll notice the urges back off. They aren't gone, but they'll ease off in frequency.

Rather than wish you good luck, I bid you to not give up, and take care of yourself. Break your chains!

Flimsyfryingpan · Dec 10, 2017

@Andras Vadim
Thanks man its been a tough one since I started my journey on here within the last 2 weeks. I have had to reset my counter several times within the last few days, but I'm still very optimistic about things and Im gonna keep trying. I am opting to do the full 90, but ifmi can reach beyond the 2 week mark even (the longest I've ever put together myself) I'll have more confidence and strength to move forward.
And yes I agree the first 5 days is a grind. My last run I failed day 4 going into 5.

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This has been a long time coming.

Flimsyfryingpan Fapstronaut

Jerk Reaction Fapstronaut

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