New Fapstronaut Raj here

Hello everybody, my name is Rajiv currently 19 years old and a university student. Ever since my final year of Highschool, I developed some form of psychological trauma anxiety or something (albiet mild), I've been slowly increasing the amount of porn and masturbation, and now going into my third year of university, not having being bothered at all about reality (more like trying to avoid responsibility in every way possible) I really need to start picking myself up. All my friend are basically doing awesome in life and from time to time it gives a gut wrenching feeling, forming some form of inferiority complex when I hang around them. I'm also a little more socially awkward and act more immature than I did a couple of years ago.

What I am hoping is for some sort of liberation, my goal is to make sure that not only do I abstain from porn and masturbation but also to stop fantasising in general and get my ability to concentrate and focus back up a lot. This year has been terrible for me, I've literally stagnated and haven't moved forward and I really need to catch up on all I have lost. Hopefully this will also increase my confidence and get taken more seriously by my friends and family. Anyway I hope this transpires into something as it feels like I haven't achieved something in an excruciatingly painful length of time.

 

Yeah in the end you control your destiny, I certainly hope I can look back and say to myself and everyone that's affected by me that it wasn't all in vain.

 

Na friend I'm Fijian born.

 

By avoiding responsibilities I mean shutting myself from the world. I'll give an example. So for instance my Aunty might prepare something like a party, and my brother and sister would go and help them out, but I would just stay doing some stupid crap and give excuses all the time to get out of it. When it comes to getting out of my current job and actually getting an internship that will help me for uni I just put it aside giving some excuse like 'I need more experience' or something.

The worst part about this phenomenon is that I am conscious about a lot of the things I do wrong, but its slowly eroding away, and I can tell so by faces of my family and friends who see that my manners are out of scratch or I am plain oblivious to my surroundings. I just care less and less about everything. It's literally me refusing to becoming an adult. There a quite a few lifestyle changes that I need to adopt, and ofcourse some which need to be curbed the most of which is my porn addiction.

 

Thank you very much for your input, I'll definitely give these a go