So me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years. Have lived together for most of that time. However in the last 3 years she has been working nights while I'm on days, she is also away a lot. Im not from here, I moved here for the job and have no friends in the area, I work about an hour away from where I work. It's starting to really effect me, I never see her, we never sleep together, hardly ever have sex but yet we live together. Not sure what the point of this post is, I just have nobody to talk to and yet another night spent in the apartment all by myself. Iv been to the gym and out for food, it's not like I'm a recluse. I'm just hating coming home to an empty house and going to bed/waking up alone. I don't think I can be I this kind of relationship. I'm too weak. I want to have somebody to lie next to at night. Today is day 32 also since I looked at any porn, ever since I stopped porn iv really become aware of things in my life I'd been oblivious too. This being one of them, normally I would fap for a couple of hours at least but now without that escape I'm just left here till that loneliness slowly creeps over me with nothing to distract me from it and so I just lay and cry. Nobody knows this side of me, nobody knows me!!
Hey Primal, Im going to be honest, your situation is not good for you. You said it yourself. This girl seems like a big deal to you, I know it's hard to talk about but I suggest you tell her that the situation your relationship is in has driven you crazy. The best thing in this type of situation is to be 100% truthful with yourself. Maybe you do need another girl who has a similar life pattern as you, or maybe you just need to communicate with your current girlfriend what is bothering you whenever you see her next. I can't tell you what you have to do just follow your gut and do what you feel is right dude. Best of luck to you! -TheBigBadWolf
Thanks for the honest advice. I have tried talking with her but I don't think she quite understands how it affects me. Although I suppose it's only now that I'm not suppressing my feelings anymore that I have really noticed. I have also been struggling with benzo addiction and have currently been taking a benzo at night. This has got to the point where I am going to go through withdrawals which just make me feel 10x worse. But im going to gradually reduce my dose as I couldn't handle the cold turkey withdrawals at the moment. I also smoke weed everyday and have starting taking ADD meddling to counteract the drowsiness I get in the day from the lingering benzo affect. All this to numb the pain. My girlfriend is a stronger person emotionally than me so I don't think she quite understands what I'm going through. On top of this Iv got a good job, workout and do yoga, and I'm doing some qualifications to help further my career However I am starting to really struggle with things in my life as iv got myself in quite a pickle. My job means I'm alone a lot, plus I'm doing a long distance learning course so I have no interactions most days. Then I get home about 5-6pm to an empty house and that feeling of loneliness just engulfs me. If I had somebody I saw every night I wouldn't get these feelings. Not sure what I'm ranting about but I have nobody to speak to so it's just good to get it out.
Another thing, this morning my girlfriend comes and get in bed just as I'm getting up for work. I woke up horny and so tried to put the moves on her but, and this happens all the time, she said she feels 'fat and ugly' and Doesn't want me to touch her. The plot thickens I know, but I'll be honest, she is starting to get fat. She probably gained 25 lbs this year and it is noticeable to the point I'm not even sexually attracted to her that much whilst she's in this shape and she isn't going to do anything about it. this is not something we can talk about either as she gets extremely offended and makes it out like I'm just being nasty
Hi Great you start talking here. Here are lot of people wanting to listen and give some reply. Let me be honest to you as well. Your girlfriend is not the problem. I think it's your insecurity that 's the issue you have to work on. You should be able to have a really good conversation with your girlfriend. Just make an appointment with her, say that you really want to meet her. Take her to a nice restaurant or whatever and talk to her. Let her know how you feel, try to find out how she feels in your situation. Eating to much is a sign of suppressed feelings (fear, rejection, ....). Pointing on issues she is struggling with. I think a very good intimate conversation will be the first step you have to take.
Since it is your girlfriend. Why don't you talk about it? As far as i know a relationship has two sides. It's a game where you give and take. So talk about it with your gf. How is she seeing the future with working in night and you in day? Does she want to get in shape for you? Are you fine if she doesn't ? If she makes everything you say like being nasty then it might be a good move to stop the relationship as she is taking alot but not giving you the things you need. Make sure you put those things as feedback and not as personal attack against her. But atleast talk to her, its the most importantthing in a relationship!
