Need a lifeline

salm51 · Jan 21, 2018

Hi, I'm Vaughn. 30 year old male. I started masturbating around 13-14 yrs old. There hasn't been many weeks where I haven't masturbated at least once since then. Around 19 yrs old I turned over a new leaf and had a spiritual experience. Even though I changed many things about my life then, I still couldn't overcome the urge to masturbate. It's the weakest link in my natural constitution.

I'm hoping this NoFap forum will give me a way to finally overcome it. I don't at all doubt God's existence. But focus on religious means to get over this has exasperated my problem. I'm essentially the problem. My desire to satisfy sexual craving inevitably causes me to sabotage any streak of abstinence from PMO. I know my own lust and several generations of a sexually saturated culture have wildly inflated my natural sex drive. It's totally unrealistic. It's ruining me. It makes me depressed and suicidal.

Recently I got the internet at my house. I resisted doing that because I knew I would look at porn. But somehow I deceived myself that I would just play a video game. Not an hour passed but that I was surfing porn. Perhaps engaging in NoFap will allow me to keep the internet. I need some structure. The internet itself is a pleasure engaging matrix. I know not everyone comes from a religious perspective; however the internet is sort like the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Apple products play off that notion with their apple bite.

I know in order to overcome PMO, I need to limit activities on the internet. Not overdoing any one thing on it. Using it more for its usefulness in paying bills or online shopping. I tend to binge youtube videos on many topics. It leads to too much information and nothing practical getting done. My pattern with porn and the like is also of a binge sort. Something will trigger me and then i'm filling myself with all those defiling images. I can't stand it anymore. It all leads back to masturbation and an unrealistic view of wanting to fulfill my sex drive. I think it's the one thing that destroys a man. I hope I can turn this around. Thanks.

I must change · Jan 21, 2018

Good luck 1 day at a time

salm51 · Jan 21, 2018

very true, thank you

Deleted Account · Jan 21, 2018

salm51 said: ↑

I hope I can turn this around
Click to expand...

Hey ,

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

* L

PS: Say Hello to a few members. Just open their profile and say "hi" and introduce yourself. You'll find a great community. This is only a short list. There are many many more great people on here.

@GeeWhizz Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152127/
---
@Sunshadow Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/
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@Tomoya Okazaki Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143534/
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@2525 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/150280/
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@Visor Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144228/

salm51 · Jan 22, 2018

hey are you there right now?

Robbo-seeking-life · Jan 22, 2018

salm51 said: ↑

Hi, I'm Vaughn. 30 year old male. I started masturbating around 13-14 yrs old. There hasn't been many weeks where I haven't masturbated at least once since then. Around 19 yrs old I turned over a new leaf and had a spiritual experience. Even though I changed many things about my life then, I still couldn't overcome the urge to masturbate. It's the weakest link in my natural constitution.

I'm hoping this NoFap forum will give me a way to finally overcome it. I don't at all doubt God's existence. But focus on religious means to get over this has exasperated my problem. I'm essentially the problem. My desire to satisfy sexual craving inevitably causes me to sabotage any streak of abstinence from PMO. I know my own lust and several generations of a sexually saturated culture have wildly inflated my natural sex drive. It's totally unrealistic. It's ruining me. It makes me depressed and suicidal.

Recently I got the internet at my house. I resisted doing that because I knew I would look at porn. But somehow I deceived myself that I would just play a video game. Not an hour passed but that I was surfing porn. Perhaps engaging in NoFap will allow me to keep the internet. I need some structure. The internet itself is a pleasure engaging matrix. I know not everyone comes from a religious perspective; however the internet is sort like the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Apple products play off that notion with their apple bite.

I know in order to overcome PMO, I need to limit activities on the internet. Not overdoing any one thing on it. Using it more for its usefulness in paying bills or online shopping. I tend to binge youtube videos on many topics. It leads to too much information and nothing practical getting done. My pattern with porn and the like is also of a binge sort. Something will trigger me and then i'm filling myself with all those defiling images. I can't stand it anymore. It all leads back to masturbation and an unrealistic view of wanting to fulfill my sex drive. I think it's the one thing that destroys a man. I hope I can turn this around. Thanks.
Click to expand...

Welcome to NoFap, your story with the internet sounds a lot like mine. I’ve found help here in these forums, without NoFap, I’m looking at more & more porn, all the while knowing I shouldn’t.
Come back every day & post something, read other people’s stories. It really will make a difference.

salm51 · Jan 22, 2018

hey can you message me in private?

I must change · Jan 22, 2018

salm51 said: ↑

very true, thank you
Click to expand...

Hi Salm51, try taking cold showers when you get the urge to surf the net it helps me curve my urges. It takes some getting use too ,it helps wake me up in the morning and fills me with energy and at night helps me sleep real well. I hope this helps. (Try first half of shower hot and second half cold) and see how it goes.

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Need a lifeline

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