Lost my sister..

I used to be a fun and loving guy. (sorry if I sound gay) And then one day the addiction just boosted up to like 5times a day. I'd be fuck lazy all day. So, I had this sister of mine, believe me you never would have seen such a beautiful creation. She was a cousin. I loved her so much and she loved me more. We were so close to each other that we'd talk on the phone all day. I never did so much for my own girlfriend! So you can now picture our relationship, she's 4 years elder to me. (don't mind my bad English) We used to have fun while sleeping. I know this sounds wrong on so many levels but it was nothing such, we just used to kind of hug and cuddle and kiss (not the lips) but yeah she did kiss my lips once when she was leaving. It was like a sweet one, a goodbye kiss. That night I accidentally placed my hand on her boobs and it felt soft so.. I pressed them.. And seconds after I took my hands off.. Saw them, I could see perverted molester's hands.. I felt so disgusted and fucked that I cut myself out of guilt (I was an emo at that time) but later I found out that she didn't mind it (the fondle thing) so that made me feel better. And uh.. She was all I had in my life .. Few months later I went to her town and stayed for a week.. We were on the bed and I was just looking at her.. And the fucking porn, it kept on fucking with my mind with the things that have happened between us though they weren't bad and had no bad intentions within. And I just wanted to hug her as I was leaving the next morning. I just so wanted to hug her.. I did. But her hand accidentally caught my hand on her breast and.. I held it there.. And.. I didn't have any intention :'( I swear to my life.. I just I don't know.. Kept on pressing and after a minute or so she slapped me not hard but I realised.. I was actually molesting my own fucking sister while she was asleep! All because of the fucking brother sister pornos! Fucck! She doesn't want to see my face again.. She stopped talking.. I was already so fucked and then this "rapist" tag on my life.. I drank toilet cleaner. (tbh it was quite tasty) but didn't die Cuz it wasn't enough doze.. I did that intentionally Cuz I suddenly thought about the consequences and the promise that I made with her.. I promised her once, that I will never hurt myself. So i didn't do it that day and ran to my other sis who's a doctor. So yeah, I lost my sister because of porn. What's next? Go MILF on a woman who gave birth to me? Honestly, when I saw a girl, all I used to see was a pair of titties and ass walking. Nothing. Else.
Now its like I'm really improved, it seems to be gay at first but then its kinda fun looking at a girl, how beautiful she is with those glittering eyes, her beautiful shiny hairs, her sexy as fuck lips and her cute as a chihuahua cheeks! Try it.. Don't Fap for a month. You'll love people from within and that's how you'll get more girls. Fapping is also making me bald.

 

It's actually happening because of porn, bro. I don't know how to explain it though.
And it is ruining my social life too :/ like I just woke up at the time I have to sleep like damn!
And now I'm starting this NF Campaign. I've not done it since afternoon so I'll go till 30 days! Fuck yeah!

 

I know right, man. But somethings are so full of shit that they leave a permanent scar, a regret for all your life. But I guess, I learned a lesson, too. So I got that going for me though, ha!