Greetings. My name is Norman. My PMO problem seems like just the tip of the iceberg. As I avoid behaviors associated with the syndrome, my restlessness grows in proportion to my days abstained. By about day 21, which is my current all time record, I'm a totally different person. Yeah, I'm kinder, more focused, and accomplishing lots of great stuff, but my risk of indiscriminate promiscuity rises dramatically. Basically I lose all inhibitions, suffer from vulnerability to predation, and otherwise hook up with people who my sane self would avoid like the plague. I engage in risk taking. It feels a lot like sexual addiction. After an indiscriminate hook-up I'm overwhelmed with shame, remorse, and a desire to get away from the person involved. It's a lot like having two minds. A Jekyll and Hyde personality. Is NoFap the place for me, or should I look into other venues of support or help? Cheers, Norman.
Hey @NPerson , I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome". There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope). My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program. Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary. 1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program. 2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery. Learn the NoFap Program The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used. They are: Download the free Getting Started guide. Set up a PMO-Counter Badge. More info here! Basic introduction to the science of porn addiction! Basic information about rebooting and how our challenges can help you recover from PMO. This is the most important page to read. If you only can read one page, read this one. About NoFap. Watch this video - it is an epic intro resource if you want to get particular details about porn addiction and how it changes how your brain works. This is a good light-weight video about porn addiction. Read through the journal sections and see what other rebooters have experienced. It is good to know what to expect, otherwise the "chaser effect", "the surge", or the "flatline" might throw you off. If you come across vocabulary that you can't understand, check out our rebooting glossary of terms. GET ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR HABITS! Sign up for a peer accountability partner. Otherwise if you want more professional-hosted solutions, check out NoFap Premium or Reboot Camp. If you can afford to invest in yourself, these are great options. You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum. Get Involved with the Community The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others. Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can: Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles Pick a forum and make sure every post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group. Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread. Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums, * L PS - Think of pmo like a wolf. Stay near the center of the group with the winners and the wolf has a more difficult time finding you. But, stray near the edges of the community and the wolf can pick you off.
One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program. I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work. Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few: @db001 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/130513 -- @LilD - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/147764/ --- @julianstone Journals at https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146584/[/B] --- @HerculesStop - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/140098/ --- @zakes - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/149243/ --- @DavidGibson - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143325/ --- @Euklid - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/146663/ --- @BreatheDeeply - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/139097/ --- @LiquidShoes - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/134044/ --- There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start. This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here. --> L --- PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal. The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page. Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time. Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar. -
For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship. Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles. I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship. @ludwig525 @C. J. @hoping_cannon @DavidGibson @SteelshoT @Jewels @reystronaut @2525 @weddingnails @PatrickR @Beamer Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles. So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself. Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles, --> L
Welcome @NPerson , thanks for sharing. It sounds like you could benefit from NoFap. I guess you'll have to try it out before you know, but I'd recommend reading others' posts and keeping a daily journal in the "Reboot Logs" section of the forum for a few weeks to see if you found that helpful or not.
